What if girl says "Whatever feelings and emotions you have, get rid of them," ?

[Anonymous]

She says I m not interested and we are just good collegues. She is very nice with me in office and allows me to touch her with a little bit of fear, which is also due to fear of expose, unlike other collegues. She says don't try to be good with me, don't waste your time. She mimics me, she tease me, laughs very excitedly when someone break joke on me. make an eye contact with me, but when she reaches home she become totally a different person, stops me from flirting and behave rudely. Is she playing with me?. Should I continue or not?

[Anonymous]

No idea, the only way to tell her real intentions is by withdrawing your attention. It’s also they only way you might have a possibility of getting her.

Attention is the currency in girl world. She wants attention, and I assume that you want sex. She’s getting the attention, you’re not getting laid.

By taking away your attention she either stops trying for your attention, which means that you’re no longer wondering if you have a chance and can move on, or she realises that she really wants your attention and tries harder to get it.

[Asker]

now she is trying harder, she stopped eating lunch with other colleagues, remains quite and upset with head down. today she was crying while chatting with someone on whatsapp and I was like it's due to me. She stills offer me a coffe, cookies or whatever she has. She is planing a farewell party secretly with other collegues as I am leaving in coming days. She stills send me snaps and continuing the streak. Also posting sad statuses. What should I do, give her whatever she wants until I am here, and then after leaving the office should move on?

[Opinion Owner]

I’d say stay away. Don’t give her what she wants.

[SueShe]

How do you touch her in the office? Is it just a handshake or are you touching her inappropriately?

You have to be very cautious about "touching" female co-workers as this can quickly be seen and perceived as sexual harassment. Never touch a co-worker in any other way than to shake hands because she seems to be uncomfortable when you touch her. You state "... little bit of fear". This does not sound good and I would urge you to refrain from touching her at all.

If she says that she sees you only as a colleague then take it that way and don't insist. She behaves differently when she is not in her work environment and that is indicative that she tries to be friendly when working colleagues are around in order not to create a bad working climate.

I suggest you stop teasing and touching her and remain strictly on a co-worker status.

[Asker]

It's not like that, we are in an islamic country, she allow me to touch but fear of society. touching means holding her hands or write something on her hands like heart art or like that. harassment is when she is not willing.

[Guy13]

It sounds like she just wants games to me.

[Guy13]

It also sounds like if you act like you don’t care emotionally…not going to “catch feelings” that she may be open to similar behaviors outside of work ⁉️

[Asker]

please elaborate your reply more

[Guy13]

She said:”lose your feelings and don’t catch them. Apparently you convince her at work or whatever…, she allows you.
You fail outside of work because you catch feelings and kill the edge felt in workplace-timidity.
It doesn’t matter what you think. It’s clear she interprets this IF “hands off” at home. Exhibitionists like audiences…around the parking garage with random people occasionally getting off has worked for me. The ringing of each floor and suspense has been fun with one girl in my past. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Asker]

thanks

[Guy13]

👍👍

[Anonymous]

run away, she's creepy

[Asker]

What do you mean by running away?, Shouldn't I talk to him, help him, ask him for lunch?, wouldn't that be rude or mean?

[Asker]

*her

[Opinion Owner]

she's seriously not interested in you, she was just act nicely towards you in front of people

[Asker]

I got it but should I stop all other things too which I mentioned in my reply?

[Opinion Owner]

stop all that too. otherwise you'll would get false hope and hurt again like now.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Yeah she's playing

[Asker]

how you conclude that? a little bit elaboration will be helpful

[Rockstarrrrr]

She's being playful and enjoying your attention... clear sign is that when you get too close she sets boundaries

[Asker]

i stopped it today, and she is quite, serious, and didn't even eat lunch with other collegues and always sitting with a head down. Now I will not be available for play, thanks

[Rockstarrrrr]

Yeah that happens a lot between coworkers... They do it to keep themselves entertained... If you're not into that yeah you should call it off

[Anonymous]

Are you stalking her?

[Asker]

yup but not like following her way to home