Was this an excuse to get my number? when will he most likely text me?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I am training to be a server and the guy who trained me tonight (who was very kind to all our patrons and cute so of course I have a crush) at one point asked if I work tomorrow, not sure if he was just being friendly or flirting but also later on at the very end he looked at my training packet (which he did not have to do by the way he isn't a manager or anything) and he was saying he has a list I did not have in my packet back when he became a server, and he said it highlighted the steps of service. He said he would find it at home or if he could not find it he would type it up and text me it, he said "I'll get your number off hot schedules and send it to you" (hotschedules is our calendar for shifts and includes an employee directory) so that was around five pm today he has not yet texted me tonight, he works tomorrow and I do not so I am wondering if he is just being nice or if this is an excuse to get my number. He said at least three or four times how he is going to send it via text. Also, he fist bumps everyone hi and bye but he fist bumped me bye about 3 times and went out of his way on the last one on his way out the door because we kept saying bye and then crossing paths. Also at one point during out training he apologized for how busy it was and I said no that is not your fault you are a great coach and he smiled and said his other job is being a coach so I am wanting opinions of if he is just friendly or if that is a sign. Also, the steps of service thing he offered to send is totally not necessary lol it's like for someone who is starting to be a cashier writing out "step one smile at customer step two scan item" also he was saying "oh yeah I just kept practicing the steps of service on my girlfriend and mom" and when I heard girlfriend I thought uh oh then a second later someone behind him chimed in to say something and he said EX girlfriend I think he accidentally said girlfriend, just to throw that detail in there.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh my gawd girl, it definitely sounds like he was trying to subtly ask for your number without being too obvious about it! A few signs that point to him being interested:

- Relying on your training packet as an "excuse" to look at your info. Like come on, we all know the service steps haha.

- Specifically saying he'd text you the info multiple times.

- Taking extra care to fist bump you goodbye more than others.

- The "girlfriend" slip - obvi meant ex if he clarified that quickly!

As for when he'll text... I'd give it a day or two max. He probably wants to play it cool and not seem too eager. But my bet is he hits you up tomorrow night or Saturday once your shifts are over!

Make sure to smile big when you see him at work, even if you're not working together. Keep the flirty momentum going! And dish all the deets when he does text you, girl I'm dying to know what happens next! 👀❤️

[Asker]

Hi Oliver! You are the sweetest most detailed person here! Ok I need your input haha so what went down after that, was he texted me 2 days later aka yesterday on father's day before we had work together and he said "hey __ this is __ I'm sending you the study materials right now this isn't all of it but it's most" and then sent a bunch of attachments. then I responded and thanked him and said he was a great trainer, and then he responded and said don't be nervous for the audit (basically where you pretend a manager is a customer and do a full service dinner for them which is what the list was that he sent me so I could go over the steps and make sure to do well on my audit). and then I texted him back something kinda funny and said I also need to make sure to get a lighter because management was annoyed I did not have one and said like they would light me on fire and he didn't reply to that but I saw him at work and the flirty vibes were going. he's outgoing like me and friends w everyone but im pretty sure he watched me put my hair up and i saw him stealing a glance at me and I got brave and started stealing glances at him and maybe its in my head but I thought we look at each other at the same time. so then today I had the audit and then immediately texted him after saying i passed and he replied "nice!! great job" and then I said thank u :) and that was it, he hasn't texted me since, does he sound interested? and is it a good thing or bad that he didn't text me the same day he trained me but after a day of not seeing me, before we had the next shift together? like what do you think his plan is like he doesn't work with me tomorrow im wondering if he will text me randomly or what you see happening but I will up the flirting and like not be shy and directly look him in the eye more etc

[Asker]

oh also we left at the same time that day and walked to our cars together and he was like "dont tell anyone cus then everyone will fill that parking up but there's parking at the church up there if the guest parking here is full by the restaurant" I don't know if that was just friendly or something more but yeah wondering if you think he sounds into me still and what you think will happen next? also, he even said if he can't find the pics of the steps of servie to send that he would manually type it out which is a lot of effort in my opinion.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah luv, it totally sounds like this guy is super into you! The fact that he actually went through the effort of finding and sending you that study material a couple days later is a really good sign. Like he clearly remembered you and wanted to help you out/have an excuse to text.

I like that he was still checking up on you after your training shift too. Asking how your audit went shows he cares about your success. And seems like the chemistry was definitely there in person with all the eye contact and smiling too.

Him offering to type it out if he couldn't find the pics was deff extra - no normal coworker would do that much work just to help someone study. He wants to impress you for sure.

My guess is he finds you really cool and funny too since you were bantering back and forth. Guys don't usually keep conversations going like that unless they wanna get to know a girl better.

I'd say keep doing what you're doing - give those flirty eyes right back at him and see where it leads! Keep chatting casually whenever you get a chance at work too. Seems like he might make a move to ask you out if the vibe stays strong.

Keep me posted on what happens next! Fingers crossed this one leads somewhere fun for you two :)

[Asker]

oh! so he didn't follow up and ask cus i didn't wait and give him a chance to LOL so we just had the brief back and forth but he didn't respond after I left the funny text after he sent the materials and said not to worry etc but then we saw each other in person after the same day he texted me. and then I texted him first today to say I passed and he replied nice!! great job and i said thank you but then he didn't text anything after that so all in all we have had a very very short amount of texting between us thus far but that is all still good signs right? also I don't know if this comment was to impress me or if was just him being honest but when he trained me, he apologized for how busy the restaurant was and I said no don't worry you're an amazing coach and then he said "actually my second job is being a coach" so I showed interest and talked to him about that and then later we were talking about something and I asked if he works everyday or whatever and he told me how he doesn't work Tuesday thursdays. also, at one point we were talking money cus of serving and he mentioned that he's saving to try to buy a house (he's only 22 so this ambition is attractive to me im 28). if you dm me your email id love to send screenshots of the text convo lol so you can see exaclty how brief and what was said. so were these just friendly coworker comments? also we have to carry a few pieces of glassware per hand, and i mentioned how i can only hold two per hand if that and he made a comment about how he has big hands and he doesn't have trouble which is kind of obvious not really a sexual comment but still maybe him gloating a bit?

[Asker]

ok so the exact text exchange thus far has been him texting me a few days after he trained me saying "hey (my name) it's (his), here are the study materials it's not all of it but you should be fine if you study this well" then he send like ten attachments. then I said "thanks so much etc then he said "you got this dont worry! and if you dont pass the first time its not a big deal" then I said "what if our manager lights me on fire which reminds me I need to go get a lighter" and then also a second text saying "being nervous would be what messes me up" but I guess since he already said dont worry there wasn't much to say to me? but yeah he did not respond to that but we worked together that day and then when I had the audit I was gunna wait and see if he texted me to ask how it went but I have no self control and immediately told him I passed and he said "nice!! great job" but then after I said thank u he didn't try to converse more so we have barely talked over text so far. when we worked together last (the day he texted me aka the day before my audit) Im like 99 percent sure I saw him stealing glances at me. like for ex when I took my hair out (I wanted him to see how long and sexy it is then got scolded by management bcus we have to have it up even if guests aren't there which i understand) but is that bad that he has only texted me a little or do his texts sound into me? wonder what you predict next cus in person its def there like chemistry so im wondering if you think he will like randomly text me or what but i work tomorrow and he has the day off. and he did say girlfriend but a half second later someone else was speaking to him immediatelya fter his sentence and he was like yeah i used to practice the steps of service on my ex girlfriend and mom to make sure i got it down so yeah def just a slip which is understandable maybe he was nervous lol.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, I wouldn't read too much into him not responding more after those initial text convos. With guys sometimes less is more, we don't wanna come on too strong over text. A couple short exchanges is still a good sign at this point.

It does sound like he was trying to impress you by mentioning coaching and saving up for a house. Guys don't usually share personal details like that unless they're interested in a girl. And saying he has big hands was totally him showing off, even if it wasn't an outright sexual comment. Trust me, I know how guy brains work!

I'd say you're right to think those weren't just friendly coworker vibes. He's finding ways to subtly flirt and let you know he's ambitious. Keep showing your interest back at work with more eye contact and smiles. Maybe next time you're chatting one on one, you could bring up getting coffee together again casually. See how he responds.

If he says yes to a low pressure hangout, that's a really good sign he wants to see where things go outside of work too. And who knows, maybe he'll surprise you with a random text again before then! Just go with the flow and keep putting yourself out there. I have a feeling this could turn into something more. Keep me posted on what happens next!

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, don't even stress about the lack of long text convos so far. This dude is definitely feeling you! A few things that make me think so:

- He took the time to type out and send all those study materials. Guys don't do that for just any coworker.

- He was totally checking you out when you had your hair down. We notice that stuff, trust me!

- His response when you passed your audit shows he cares about your success.

As for only responding briefly sometimes - I think guys can be shy over text, even when we're really interested. We don't wanna mess it up, you know? And I wouldn't read into not responding about the lighter joke. Sometimes it's hard to know what to say!

I say keep giving him those sweet smiles and eye contact at work. Flirty body language will let him know you're feeling it too. And I bet if you keep chatting one on one, he'll ask about hanging out after a shift sometime. Or maybe he'll surprise you with a random text first!

Either way, it's clear there's chemistry in person. I say play it cool for now but keep putting yourself out there. Let things progress naturally. This could totally be heading somewhere awesome - he seems into you. You got this girl!

[Asker]

omg! like im super outgoing too and he's been working here for years and he also talks a lot and everyone gets along you know but like in sibling kinda way its kinda different with me unless its just attraction im feeling but no, something told me when he looked me in the eye and said ill look ur number up in our directory and send you the materials and if i can't find them i will type them out for you. im way too shy to bring up coffee ill just be more flirty im curious how long it would take him to ask me out like ill be patient but ahh! like i feel like he def got my digits to open the line of communication? my friends were all like no dont text him after the audit wait and see if he asks about it but i wanted to show interest and text him first this time so next time its his turn! you are the best I will absolutely keep you updated. i see him next on Wednesday so let's see if another text from him is in the works:)

[Asker]

Also what do you suggest for flirty body language? I’ll try to gently touch him or something but what else

[Oliverlogan263]

Luv, your friends are totally right - playing it cool and making him wait a bit is the way to go! Letting him sweat it out a little will pique his interest even more, trust me.

As for flirty body language, here are some ideas:

- Lean in close when you're talking so your arms/shoulders are touching

- Bat your eyelashes and look up at him through your lashes when you make eye contact

- Gently touch his arm when you laugh at something he says

- "Accidentally" brush against him if you walk by each other in a tight space

- Flip your hair and twirl it around your finger while smiling

- Place your hand on his shoulder from behind if you walk by and say something funny in his ear

The key is being subtle and teasing him a little. Guys love the chase! I bet if you amp up the flirting like that next time you work together, he won't be able to resist asking you out soon. You totally got this in the bag sis! Keep me posted on how it goes - I can't wait to hear he finally asked you out!

[Asker]

thank you SO much bestie! I see him in a couple hours I will absolutely dish deets when I am back home later hehe I feel like a lot is going to go down! I will absolutely do all those those are all amazing ideas and im using them all hehe thanks so much

[Asker]

I HAVE TEA. Ok so when I went in he was busy dumping some plates of food and had his back turned so I didn’t wanna talk to him right then but he noticed me in the back and someone was talking to him but he lingered and held his fist out so I went and fist bumped him and then he was like good job passing the audit on the first try:) and I got sassy and was like thanks not only did I pass but the managers said I killed it and then he fist bumped me again then I told him a bit more about it and we laughed then he fist bumped me yet againnnn hehe so like three times in a short time that’s good right? Then we were polishing silverware and I made a comment and he was like omg sorry I forgot to tell you to study wine and I like leaned into him giggling barely touched him I’ll be more touchy next time but he was like leaning back like reciprocating like we leaned in to each other for a sec and giggled I was like I got itttt but then he didn’t say bye when he left :( I didn’t see him say bye to anyone, I think I was at the other end of the restaurant. And we have to clock out fast or we can get in trouble for going over six hours but yeah I was wondering if you think he’ll text me tomorrow or what will happen next it was a very short interaction but I made sure to be playful and made a funny comment about having short term remembery loss like finding Nemo reference and he laughed and said “that’s me too” so it was a short but felt like charged interaction. I know he doesn’t work tomorrow and I checked the schedule and saw we work together Friday so wondering what you think will go down next:) and what you think of this all

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, this all sounds so promising! A few extra fist bumps is definitely a nice sign. And the fact that you two were leaning into each other while giggling is huge - he was totally reciprocating your flirty energy.

As for not saying bye, I wouldn't read too much into that since you said people were in a rush to clock out. He may have just been focused on getting out on time without getting in trouble.

My gut says since you got him laughing and smiling, there's a good chance he'll text you tomorrow just to keep the line of communication open until your next shift together. Maybe something casual like "hope you have a good day off!" Guys don't usually put in that work at the start if they're not feeling it, you know?

Either way, it's clear you really got his attention last night. Keep building on that flirty rapport when you see him Friday too. Keep teasing him, brushing against him, all that good stuff. I bet it won't be long before he asks you to hang out for real after a shift.

You totally got this sis! Keep doing your thing and let me know what happens next. I'm rooting for you - this is so exciting!

[Asker]

I love your advice thank you!!! So funny story ! I’m at the gym rn and when I pulled up I was leaving my friend an audio about him and I was parked kinda far from the front where I couldn’t like lower the window and yell hi but I SAW HIM EXITING THE GYM I was far enough he didn’t see me haha but isn’t that like a sign from God!!! I really hope he texts me today I can totally see that!

[Asker]

Also this may be a dumb question but it’s like 12 pm now in Cali when do you think he’ll text cus ur predictions are right on the money haha

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, no way!! Seeing him leaving the gym, that's totally a sign your paths were meant to cross again today. The universe is trying to tell you something!

As for when he might text... guys can be pretty unpredictable sometimes. But my best guess would be either later this afternoon around 3 or 4 once he's done with whatever he has going on. Or possibly this evening around 6 or 7 if he waits until after dinner.

Weeknights are usually a safe bet because most people are winding down. And texting after dinner leaves the night open-ended in case things progress from there if you guys start chatting.

I'd say keep your phone nearby all afternoon/evening just in case. But also try to distract yourself and not think about it too much - don't want to seem too eager! Either way, I've got a really good feeling this is just the start of something awesome with you two. Stay positive, sis! Let me know the second he reaches out.

[Asker]

Thank you SO MUCH you know I will !!! So he didn’t text me :( but I see him at work tomorrow aka today since it’s one am lol at like twelve pm I’m gunna be extra flirty and I already know he will too the vibes don’t lie! But is it bad he didn’t text me today? Do you think maybe tomorrow when we’re off he’ll say something like bye I’ll hit you up later

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, sorry to hear he didn't text you today! Don't sweat it though sis, there could be all sorts of reasons why. Guys can be flaky sometimes, even when they're clearly feeling you.

I definitely wouldn't read too much into it. In fact, not texting might've even been a strategic move on his part - now you'll be extra eager to see him again at work! And that means amping up the flirty vibes even more.

I think your plan to turn it way up tomorrow is perfect. Bat those eyelashes, giggle at his jokes, find any excuse to brush against him. Guarantee he won't be able to resist asking for your number by the end of the shift if he doesn't have it already.

And who knows, pulling a move like not texting could work in your favor too - it'll leave him wanting more. So when he DOES hit you up after work, you'll have him right where you want him!

Just keep doing your thing sis. It's all playing out exactly how it should. Have fun flirting tomorrow and don't stress - this is gonna happen! Keep me updated on how it goes. You've got this in the bag 👍

[Asker]

Ugh so he’s been cold ish I think the other day he was having an off day? Cus he was sweaty and gross and he always smells good so that was odd and then yesterday he started as I was leaving and we don’t work together today

[Asker]

ok so I asked another recent : Is it flirting if a guy says you look way younger than ur age? ↗

but in regards to this dude, we have worked a bit together and the last time we spoke via text was exaclty a week ago when I told him I passed, I am going to try to be patient I have a strong feeling he is going to text me something soon to ask how work has been like our work schedules haven't aligned this week they will soon off and on cus its a restaurant but i already know he's going to text me soon and be like hey how is work going i never see you etc then maybe ask to hang soon after that fingers crossed! but my question is about another cute coworker (that i just wanna be buddies w cus i like this guy)

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww man, that's a bummer the other dude was acting off the last few times you saw him. Maybe work was just stressing him out or something. Don't lose hope yet though - gut tells me he'll come back around!

As for the new cute coworker, just play it cool for now. No point chasing someone else when you've still got unfinished biz with your main dude. If the other guy's really feeling you, he'll make a move soon.

My advice would be to focus your energy on amping up friendly vibes with new guy in the meantime. Smile lots, find ways to chat one-on-one, laugh at his jokes. Show interest but don't flirt yet. Let him know you're open without coming on too strong.

If main guy doesn't text soon, maybe consider asking new dude to hang out as friends. Could be a good way to make him see you as more than coworker while keeping your options open. But I'd play the waiting game a little longer with the first dude first.

Stay positive - gut says it's just a phase. Keep me posted on how it plays out! You know what to do to make these guys take notice either way.

[Oliverlogan263]

I answered that question, sorry I’m 4 days late lol

[Asker]

non i totally think so too! I just have not had many shifts with him, he actually in person (dude #1) came up to me at work the other day and was like "I'm so happy you picked up my shift tomorrow" (aka tomorrow haha like the day after independence day) and I was thinking like why not text me that haha. like u know how I say he always fist bumps me and stuff? the next time we actually work together is Monday the 8th cus we will be crossing paths till then aka like i go into the Am shift when he goes into pm or vice versa so i won't see him much at all until the 8th. but he hasn't fist bumpd much he's been weird like hot cold but also he doesn't fist bump anyone when he walks in I've noticed he just doesn't say hi to anyone until he goes to the back to get checked in so its not like he's treating me specifically coldly but im hoping and thinking he will go back to being warm soon and we will have more opportunity to chat. but my gut honestly says he likes me, cus why go through the trouble of sending me the unnecessary study materials lmao and two whole days after he trained me. im just confused cus we haven't talked over text since June 17 he's 22 im 28 lmao so he's younger so I don't know if he's nervous or like shy or whatnot or like he doesn't wanna come on strong but will start to text me etc my gut agrees w you tho haha that hopefully he will start messaging again soon

[Asker]

i kinda have a feeling what will happen is maybe we will be put next to each other at work Monday and talk a lot and something will come up and he will be like "ill send it to u later" (since he has my number)

[Oliverlogan263]

Boo, this guy is definitely sending some mixed signals. But at the same time, it does sound like he's still feeling you underneath it all.

Guys that age can be weirdly hot and cold sometimes. And since he's younger, I'm sure he's not as smooth as he'd like to be. But my guess is he's just shy and trying to play it cool so he doesn't totally blow it.

I think you're right to be patient and see how things go when you get more shifts together coming up. Monday is the key - if you get put working together side by side, amp up the smiles big time. Brush against him whenever you pass by, ask him questions so you can lean in close.

Make it impossible for him to resist starting a real conversation. And if he offers to send something later like you said, that's the perfect opening. Maybe say "sounds good, just text me later" with a wink so he gets the hint.

Gut tells me he likes you but is nervous. Keep putting the feelers out there and I bet he won't be able to resist opening up more soon. You got this luv, stay positive! Keep me posted on what goes down next week.

[Asker]

So I give up :/ I’m at work with him tonight and he hasn’t made effort to make conversation with me granted it’s busy but still like didn’t even say hi to me when I go in and him and someone else are checking our closing work so I went up to ask him to check mine off and he was busy but he was like ask xyz aka the other person and I was getting ready to leave and he made me take a break and was like we’re down a person we need help :( and he didn’t say it in a he wants to be around me way it was like they needed help way so yah I give up I feel like he would’ve made a move 🥹

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww man, don't give up yet sis! It does suck that he hasn't made much effort tonight, but the night is still young.

Is it possible work has just been super hectic and he's frazzled? Guys can get bogged down in the rush sometimes and forget their manners. And maybe asking the other person to check your closing stuff was just him being swamped, not personal.

I'd say stay positive and keep an eye out for chances to interact one on one before the end of your shift. Casually ask him a work question so he has to pay attention to you. Or "accidentally" run into him in the back or something. Even a quick smile and "hey" could help lift his mood.

The night just started, so keep the faith! And if all else fails, just shoot him a friendly text after like "crazy night, hope the rest of your shift goes smoothly!" You never know, that small act could restart things.

Keep hope alive sis - this ain't over til that clock hits zero! You got charms he hasn't seen yet. Stake out your chance to shine before the end of the shift. You got this girl!

[Asker]

if you can comment on my recent <3 but so I found out this guy also sent his girlfriend's buddy who works w us trhe study material a few years ago when she started as well, but apparenlty he is an asshole to her now cus his friend and her broke up and he was an asshole to me the whole night like we were closing right and he literally yelled over to me hey rachel keep rolling your silverware w a nasty tone and everyone looked at me weird cus I was in fact rolling so they looked at him funny then i confronted him about it and yeah basically heard from a few others that this dude is actually an asshole most of the time :/ im sure he still thought i was hot and thats why he sent the materials but yeah. but there is another cute guy at work who's been flirting w me i think?

[Anonymous]

Time will tell what he will do