Is brian right? or am I in the wrong?

so I was telling my guy friend (lets call him brian) that a coworker guy (let's call him alex) complimented my butt. this is how it went our conversation first. alex first approached me and said "you know, some guys were curious about ur ass and now they got to see it finally bc u always wearing baggy clothes" and I was like "really? why?" And he said "well you know we are guys so we like to see that" and I was like "omg" and then he said "but u do have a nice butt" I felt so embarrassed. but he laughed and I just said "haha so funny" to him. it was unexpected so i didn't know how to respond but then brian saying I let him walk all over me, I let him talk sexual to me as he was saying it was sexual harassment and that I should have scolded him. since I let him say that, brian said that made me look like a whore and like an easy girl. yeah, I let him say that but I didn't mean it in a way that made me look easy or as a whore. I just didn't speak up to him or scold him like I should have. what do u guys think? is brian right? or is he overreacting? should I have scolded alex? thank u for reading through it all!

thearchjoker

Xper 7 Age: 26

what?

Asker

1 y
joking or really don't understand? 😭

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
I'm struggling with the accent/grammar used so i'm not fully understanding the scenario

Reply
Asker

1 y
I'm so sorry. I was just curious if not scolding Alex (my coworker) about him complimenting my ass was seen as sexual harassment and if I should have scolded him or is it really not necessary to do that bc he didn't do anything wrong?

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
I don't know how the outfit looks like so i can't tell. But if it did attract your coworker to say such unfitting remarks as well as have your freind tell you it makes you look easy than i would assume he is correct.

Though maybe I'm wrong as i have no idea what it actually looks like.

Reply
Asker

1 y
I'm just wearing leggings with a really baggy shirt to give you a somewhat mind pic (x large shirt, mind u i have a small frame so my regular shirts are usually small) but i put my jacket around my waist so it contoured my butt I guess.

Reply
Asker

1 y
I think brian said it made me look easy bc I let alex say that, instead of me scolding him not to say that to me.

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
so you didn't wear any trousers or skirt?

Reply
Asker

1 y
nope, I don't wear feminine clothes during work due to personal preference

Reply
Asker

1 y
and yes baggy clothes are allowed

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
trousers aren't feminine though, still if you don't wear anything beyond stockings than yes your freind is right.

Reply
Asker

1 y
sorry, I was talking about the skirt. I don't wear trousers. but what does my outfit have to do with this?

Reply
Asker

1 y
I wear leggings and sweatpants to work. always with a x large shirt.

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
I mean no offence but if you aren't wearing something down there it is quite i don't now th epresise term kinky, possibly slutty, hoe like? Its not the type of clothes a self respecting woman should wear just like how a man should not walk around without trousers wearing only his underpants to work.

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
*The precise

Reply
Asker

1 y
but I think I am covering myself well with my shirt. I'm not showing my boobs or my butt. the leggings are like yoga pants. I'm not sure what you mean by not wearing something down there.

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
Unless your work is related to Yoga, Dancing or the Gym this is not appropriate work clothing and will lead to non appropriate comments

Reply
Asker

1 y
you agree with Brian then? that it was sexual harassment and that I should have scolded or reported Alex? and that for not scolding him, it made me look like an easy girl?

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
Yes it is sexual misconduct, how far you choose to take it is your choice you may and likely should report it if you believe it to be the correct choice. And yes your outfit does seem make you look easy as it is unbefitting of a work environment.

Reply
Asker

1 y
okay thank you for taking the time to chat with me and share. I'll be brave and more careful next time.

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
Happy to be of help

Reply
Asker

1 y
can I dm you?

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
sure but its late at night over here so i may not be online for long

Reply
Asker

1 y
oh sorry, I just tried to dm you but unfortunately can't do it because I have low xper level. thank you though. have a good night.

Reply
thearchjoker

1 y
Thats unfortunate, hopefully you'll be able to once you level up. Goodnight

Reply

What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

DishLady Follow
InfluencerMaster Age: 52

1 y
1.5K opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Sigh... (Let's call it "SIGH").

So you're 18-24. You've probably got a great ass... WHY is this a topic for debate?

You "LET HIM TALK SEXUAL"? Then it's not harassment. If you heard him say something and walked away from it -- or shut it down -- because it was harassment... and filed a harassment claim then that's something... But just claiming harassment and meanwhile chatting him up about your ass... is not a valid harassment claim because you seem like you're encouraging further discussion. HR wouldn't take you seriously...

0

0 Reply
thearchjoker Follow
Xper 7 Age: 26

1 y

what?

1

24 Reply
- Asker
  
  1 y
  joking or really don't understand? 😭
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  I'm struggling with the accent/grammar used so i'm not fully understanding the scenario
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I'm so sorry. I was just curious if not scolding Alex (my coworker) about him complimenting my ass was seen as sexual harassment and if I should have scolded him or is it really not necessary to do that bc he didn't do anything wrong?
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  I don't know how the outfit looks like so i can't tell. But if it did attract your coworker to say such unfitting remarks as well as have your freind tell you it makes you look easy than i would assume he is correct.
  
  Though maybe I'm wrong as i have no idea what it actually looks like.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I'm just wearing leggings with a really baggy shirt to give you a somewhat mind pic (x large shirt, mind u i have a small frame so my regular shirts are usually small) but i put my jacket around my waist so it contoured my butt I guess.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I think brian said it made me look easy bc I let alex say that, instead of me scolding him not to say that to me.
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  so you didn't wear any trousers or skirt?
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  nope, I don't wear feminine clothes during work due to personal preference
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  and yes baggy clothes are allowed
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  trousers aren't feminine though, still if you don't wear anything beyond stockings than yes your freind is right.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  sorry, I was talking about the skirt. I don't wear trousers. but what does my outfit have to do with this?
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I wear leggings and sweatpants to work. always with a x large shirt.
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  I mean no offence but if you aren't wearing something down there it is quite i don't now th epresise term kinky, possibly slutty, hoe like? Its not the type of clothes a self respecting woman should wear just like how a man should not walk around without trousers wearing only his underpants to work.
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  *The precise
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  but I think I am covering myself well with my shirt. I'm not showing my boobs or my butt. the leggings are like yoga pants. I'm not sure what you mean by not wearing something down there.
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  Unless your work is related to Yoga, Dancing or the Gym this is not appropriate work clothing and will lead to non appropriate comments
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  you agree with Brian then? that it was sexual harassment and that I should have scolded or reported Alex? and that for not scolding him, it made me look like an easy girl?
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  Yes it is sexual misconduct, how far you choose to take it is your choice you may and likely should report it if you believe it to be the correct choice. And yes your outfit does seem make you look easy as it is unbefitting of a work environment.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  okay thank you for taking the time to chat with me and share. I'll be brave and more careful next time.
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  Happy to be of help
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  can I dm you?
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  sure but its late at night over here so i may not be online for long
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  oh sorry, I just tried to dm you but unfortunately can't do it because I have low xper level. thank you though. have a good night.
  
- thearchjoker
  
  1 y
  Thats unfortunate, hopefully you'll be able to once you level up. Goodnight

Is brian right? or am I in the wrong?

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.