How to tell if a guy is only interested I me for a shag? If a guy constantly turns the conversation sexual is this a red flag?

[Anonymous]

So, I have recently been getting really flirty with a friend and have noticed there is a vibe between us.

Recently where we have just been having conversations just us two, I have noticed that he always turns the conversation towards sex. For example a few times this is happened are

- We were talking about going on nights out and how we were both saying that we can't do multiple nights out in a row and he asked what I am like drunk. I answered honsetly that it depends on my mood, i’m sometimes a bit flirty or i can be a bit quiet it depends on how much i’ve drank. He then said ‘are you easy to get with on a night out’, i was a bit shocked at this and kept the conversation light by saying that ‘ when I was younger yes, but not anymore it takes more than me getting drunk to get with me’

- Because we were talking about other stuff I didn't think much of this but this did raise a mini red flag, but i thought it was a one time thing as he then never brought it up again

- the second time it happened, we were just having a normal chat and he kept bringing up how many girls he’d gotten with at Uni, what kind of stuff they’d done and kept asking if i’d gotten with anyone at uni, what was the weirdest thing i’d done during sex etc. This did get to the point where i did make a comment that I was capable of talking about things other than sex and he just brushed it off and then asked when the last time i slept with anyone.

Again, this just makes me think that he is only interested in one thing and doesn't actually like me at all. We do have normal conversations about other things and are generally very flirty with each other here and there, but this does make me think he is only doing this till he get what he wants.

[Anonymous]

He’s a guy, of course he wants sex. I didn’t say “only” because I would hope there’s more substance to this friendship than sex, but if he’s as promiscuous as he sounds then he is definitely trying to steer the relationship in that direction. Sorry, but it’s nearly impossible for men and women to be strictly platonic from start to finish. Unless one doesn’t find the other attractive (or the feelings mutual), one is gay, or someone’s in a relationship then this outcome is practically inevitable. He cannot just be your simple friend anymore and you’ve already started moving out of that zone with the dirty talk anyway.

[Anonymous]

ask him straight out wether he's interested in more than just the sex, if he is tell him not to bring it up so often because it's putting you off him. He should take the hint. If it's just the sex he wants ask him why he wants you so bad and tell him that's not what your after and you don't want that ! So your not so interested.

I should have asked at the beginning but there's nothing complicating this out side of the you him relationship is there, if there is that might explain his tactics.

[Asker]

Hi,

So it is a bit awkward as we do work together, he is a manager at a pub I have started working at part time.

[Opinion Owner]

OK so in a work place that sort of conversion is completely unacceptable! Bordering on harassment.

If you're friends or chat outside of work thats more acceptable as long as its not in the work setting. Either way if you not comfortable with it you need to try to speak up

[teamvic]

I only needed to read half the post to know,

He just wants to have sex with you buddy

ain't no, also wants a relationship, he's just a horny dude trying to steer the conversation and see what horny buttons he can push on you and sleep with you

[FunkyMonkee]

I wouldn't count on it. A friend oof mine and I would call up each other every so often and, almost every conversation became sexual but, neither of us had any intention of fucking the other.
On the obverse, I used to hang out with my fiance constantly and we hardly ever talked about sex and I fucked her at least 3 times a week.