Girl from my run club asked if I go to her gym, I want to ask her to join me one day, should i?

[ikonik]

we talked off and on gym stuff the rest of the night, one point i even asked if she could dance, because we were all at a restuarant that had an area where you can dnace. should i ask her?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh dude, I think you totally should ask her! It sounds like y'all have been hinting at some interest in each other based on your convos about working out and dancing.

The gym is a great low-pressure way to spend more one-on-one time and see if you vibe. I'd say something casual like "Hey, I'm hitting the gym Saturday morning if you want to join. We could spot each other on lifts or something."

Keep it light and fun, like you're just hanging as friends to start. But doing an activity together is a nice way to see how the chemistry is, and the gym is always a safe option.

Make sure to be respectful of her space too - no getting too handsy since you're just starting to get to know each other. Overall though, seems like a cool way to connect more and see where things go! Worst she says is no, but I bet she'll be down.

Let me know how it plays out man! Fingers crossed this could turn into something more. Just be yourself and have a good time together. You got this!

[ikonik]

she seemed like she is very social and extroverted, so she could be this way with eveyrone. but she kept coming up to me a few times that night to talk, there was even a stretch where we walking to the next restuarant and it was just us two for a whlle.

[ikonik]

so i asked her if she wanted to go the gym with me sometime and she reponded 'yea' and when i suggested a date she said she''ll be away that weekend, so she needs to figure out her schedule leading up to that weekend. then she said she even saw another guy there sometimes, which i thought was weird but he is married so i'm not really worried about that. she also said her schedule is all over the place and she just goes when she has a free day which she finds out the day before. she basically said she'll let me know when she's able to go. my friend thought this is a soft rejection even though she said 'yeah'

[Oliverlogan263]

That's a tricky one man. On one hand, she seems definitely into hanging out and talking just with you a bit. Walking alone and coming up to find you several times is a good sign.

But her answer about the gym date does seem kinda noncommittal. Saying she needs to check her schedule and will let you know could be an easy way to blow you off without directly saying no. And bringing up that other guy, even if he's married, was unnecessary info that doesn't really help her case!

I'd say don't lose hope yet, but also don't get your expectations too high either. Your friend may be right that it was a soft rejection. She seems nice so maybe she didn't want to outright say no. My advice would be, don't totally wait around for her to contact you. See if she wants to hang again before that weekend, but don't put all your focus on her if she stays vague.

Keep your options open in case she's just not that interested in more than being gym buddies. But there's still a chance she could come around once she checks her schedule! Only one way to find out. I'd say try one more time to solidify plans soon, and if she keeps being flaky then don't stress it too much. You'll find out for sure one way or another.

[ikonik]

how should i ask her, "hey how's your week looking?"

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah dude, I think asking how her week is looking is a good casual way to check in without coming on too strong. Something like:

"Hey, just wondering how your week is shaping up so far? Any free afternoons coming up where you might want to check out that gym?"

Keep it light and not too serious. Show you're still interested in hanging but not demanding an answer right away. Let her know the invite is still open if she has time.

Maybe throw in a follow up question too, like ask how her workouts have been going lately or what kinds of classes/machines she likes to use. That shows you're still interested in getting to know her better.

I'd say play it cool, don't double text if she doesn't reply right away. But leaving the line of communication open is smart without being pushy. She seems at least somewhat into you, so I think staying positive and casual is your best move man! Let me know what happens.

[ikonik]

ok i messaged her, and she responsed "i haven't really htought that far ahead"

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's not the most encouraging response but doesn't totally rule it out either.

At least she didn't say no, just seems like she hasn't had a chance to look at her schedule yet. Some girls can be pretty flaky about plans sometimes too without really meaning to brush you off.

I'd say hit her up one more time next week, like "any chance you've got a free day coming up yet? trying to plan my workouts haha" to show interest without pressuring.

Keep it breezy and don't double text her if she doesn't reply. Ball's in her court now to get back to you when she figures her days out.

Might not happen, but if she's feeling you too she should suggest an alternative date. Don't lose hope yet bro!

Stay positive and in the meantime hit the gym hard and show off those gains if you see her around - could change her mind 💪 keep me posted!

[ikonik]

cool i'll ask her again in a few days.

[Oliverlogan263]

I wouldn't recommend asking her again man, that could come across as needy or pushy. You already put it out there twice that you're open to training together, and she wasn't able to commit either time. Pushing it further risks making her feel pressured or like you're not taking the hints.

At this point I think leaving the ball in her court is best. If she's actually interested, she'll remember you said to hit you up when she's free and hopefully will reach out on her own. But asking again right after she gave a vague answer runs the risk of turning her off more. My advice would be to let it be for now, focus on your own training, and if she happens to mention wanting a gym partner down the line then you can maybe throw it out there again casually.

But chasing too hard when she's not reciprocating interest just prolongs the disappointment, you feel me? Better to play it cool, leave a good impression of being relaxed and respecting her space, and see what happens naturally over time versus forcing it. She knows you're open to it now - up to her to follow through if the interest increases on her end. You don't wanna come across desperate, just stay chill!

[Nikki1989]

Just ask her. You are not a child anymore.