So he wants me to react?

[Anonymous]

So this man and I used to have a strong playful banter dynamic, but we had a falling out after crossing some lines of friendship. We reconnected a few months ago and things were awkward for a while, however, we seem to be cool now.

Now, the other day, he brought up how he doesn't tease or annoy me anymore because I just laugh at it or I don't react to it when he wants me to like the others. (Out of no where)

So I used to react by poking him and flirting, but a couple of people were telling me he disliked being touched even though I said he always smiles and starts it. I thought oh I should keep to myself then.

Later that day, when I went to poke him after he did something playful. I stopped myself because he flinched. I said that is why I stopped doing it because I know he doesn't want to be touched. He said he only flinches because he used to be hit by his dad.

I don't know how to interpret this.

Updates

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Is he telling me that he misses our playful banter? Because I used to poke him as my reaction, but I thought I was making him uncomfortable, or is he saying he likes it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a tricky situation, girl. It sounds like there's a lot of history and unresolved stuff going on between you two. On one hand, it seems like he misses the playful banter and how you used to react to his teasing. But then the whole thing about him flinching because of past abuse makes it sound like he's got some deeper issues going on too.

I can see why you might be feeling confused about how to interpret all this. It's a pretty delicate situation, especially since you guys have had a falling out in the past. You don't want to overstep any boundaries, but at the same time, it seems like he's kinda hinting that he wants you to engage with him in that playful way again.

My advice would be to tread carefully, but also be honest about how you feel. Maybe you could say something like, "I noticed you mentioned missing our banter. I want you to know I'm open to that, but I also don't want to make you uncomfortable. How do you feel about us trying to rebuild that dynamic in a way that works for both of us?" That way, you're letting him know you're receptive, but also putting the ball in his court a bit.

The key is to make sure you're both on the same page and respecting each other's boundaries. If the poking and flirting really does make him uncomfortable, even if he says he likes it, then you gotta honor that. But it also sounds like he might just be testing the waters to see if you'll react the way you used to.

Just be patient, communicate openly, and don't be afraid to set your own limits too. You deserve to feel respected and safe in your interactions with him. Hopefully you guys can find a middle ground and rebuild that playful energy in a healthy way. Let me know if you need any other advice, girl!

[Asker]

It felt like he was hinting to me about wanting me to playfully banter back. I like him, I do. I was glancing at his lips the other day, and then back to his eyes, however, he would look away or his eyes would go a different direction. So I feel like I am over thinking, but it is because I am nervous to mess up the peace.

[Anonymous]

Great, another person that can’t grasp the concept of a Q&A site by having no question.

[Asker]

I am asking how do I interpret this? Like is he saying he misses that exchange?