Can it be hard for someone to know if they are attractive?

[Summeroflove]

Let’s say… Is someone doing a double take of me because I look weird? Or because they really are interested in seeing me again. You see a group of girls or guys snickering and looking at you. Oh my gosh! Are they making fun of me? Or am I really cute and they’re teasing one another about me or talking about me?

Yeah…. For some it can be difficult. Many attractive people downplay how good they look while some very unattractive ones do they opposite

[contentious]

I don't think it's hard to know if you are attractive or not. If you are attractive women oogle you, they don't just look at you like you're a weird. Waitresses, shop clerks, and fast food window workers flirt with you almost all the time. Women stare at you while you'd doing other shit and then guys that were checking them out, notice that the girls are checking you out and then they typically laugh or smirk when they catch girls checking other guys out. So when a lot of random men are giggling for no reason around you, turn around because some girl is looking at you like a piece of meat. Sometimes random girls try to bump into you on purpose on sidewalks. Girls snap pictures of you with their phone while you're not looking. Girls say dirty things to their friends when you are not looking, but if you have good hearing you pick up on it. The real aggressive women approach you rather than waiting to be approached and when they are pervs they sometimes grope you. If you are attractive you could be in your back yard mowing the law or whatever, and women will approach you to talk to you in places you thought were private. Shit I've even had neighborhood girls when I was younger that got door to door sales jobs and then stopped by my house under the guise of selling something only to interrogate my mom for more information about me. Stalkers gonna stalk... I'd typically hear the door bell ring. Look out the peep hole in the door and then notice my mom was talking to some girl. Then later I'd ask my mom who was that? Then she'd say oh some girl selling this or that. Then she's recant me with a story about how they were talking about me for whatever reason where the sales girl is asking questions about me. Then my mom would say, she seemed like a nice girl though and smirk... These are girls I didn't even know, they just saw me and knew where I lived...

[Summeroflove]

I think many know too…. Just some people get used to it and numb to it…. So it don’t mean anything anymore. Especially if they’ve been rejected maybe they think they aren’t as attractive as they thought.

As for ugly ones… I think what happens is they are in denial.

[Summeroflove]

Especially if there are people who over compensate being nice

[Summeroflove]

Yeah…. I mean it’s a perk with service and retail staff that sometimes you get free shit as well as prompt service. On the other hand sometimes handsome men intimidate some more shy women so it can be the opposite in sone cases. But you’ll still notice someone’s looking.

It can be super awkward if it’s a old woman waitress though who looks like a former drug addict though

[Summeroflove]

But this is a issue that a lot of women are waiting for a man to approach. But then only get the men they really don’t care much for. Because why? What happens?

Well. These men have TONS of options not just the women who are direct. But they get flirted with a LOT.

Notice if let’s say females tend to intentionally sit or walk near you despite the fact that they could have gone away from you. They will say random comments to imitate sone type of conversation. If you apologize for being in the way… instead of just ignoring you or saying you’re fine it’s okay… it’s like trying yo start a conversation

Maybe they have a little cute dog and they walk your way hoping you’ll say something

[Finchie40]

If you can’t pick up on body language and the signs that someone is attracted to you , then yes it would be hard to tell. So to know whether you are attractive or not , is by learning the opposite sex’s body language , I only like girls’ so I pretty
Much mastered the art of pretty much knowing if a girl likes me or not, I am not always right but I am pretty damn close lol. One thing to help you determine whether you are attractive or not is whether or not You are approached by strangers. If you are approached by strangers that make small talk with you every time you are out in public , , then that pretty much means you are attractive , if strangers don’t approach you, then you are ugly as hell lol. When a girl is interested in you , she will try to be near you as much as possible hoping to get your attention , she will play with her hair or have some weird twitchy habit like moving her eyes all over the place , or tapping her nails on the table or bouncing her leg etc. because she is shy or nervous but wants to get your attention , she will also be all giggly around you , when she is talking to other people. If you can catch her checking you out then that makes things easier as well, Some girls’ have a hard time approaching a guy she likes , just like some guys’ have a hard time approaching a girl he likes , so you are best to get over that shyness if you want girls’ to know if you are interested in them or not , One thing that attracts girls’ is confidence and humor , when you make a girl feel comfortable it will be easier for her to open up more to you. If you are shy , and creepy , then you won't have much luck getting a girls’ attention. Just be yourself and be confident and more than likely Girls’ will start to notice that with you and be into you big time

[OneViewpoint]

From my experience a lot of women who are really attractive are actually really insecure too. It's counter intuitive for a lot of men. Well, she's gorgeous, she's out of my league. Not necessarily.

I think most of us with "normal" adult personalities are conditioned by society to also have a certain amount of humility about ourselves. So good looking people don't necessarily go around obsessing over how beautiful they are. They tend to think they are like everyone else, average looking.

But men or women may not approach attractive people because they're intimidated. They may actually be a little lonely. I see this all the time.

Or men and women may be mean or aggressive towards attractive people because they feel threatened by them. So they think people actually dislike them. I see this all the time too.

Also some attractive people, suck at reading subtle signs that someone is into them just like the rest of us.

So yeah, normal well adjusted people who happen to be good looking routinely underestimate their own attractiveness.

[Puppystarfish23]

Yes, sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and it can go one or two ways. I think I'm really pretty and I'm lucky to have a beautiful face and then other times I think I'm fat and look like miss piggy.

I get told I'm pretty but then people say stuff like oh no don't worry about let's say john he's only interested in really pretty girls... like wtf Is that meant to mean.

I got model and talent scouted lots as a child/ teen but I was extremely shy so didn't go ahead with anything.

I hate my body and I'm constantly on diets and trying to look prefect 24/7.

I have my husband but he's not good at telling me how he feels and doesn't often tell me I'm beautiful etc just because he's a clueless man as much as I love him.

I get labelled as a "cute". I have men hit on me but there usually men who are very creepy and odd

[Puppystarfish23]

Plus women are constantly made to hate the way they look and if they tell themselves they are beautiful or hot they get called cocky or up themselves

[Summeroflove]

Well most people aren’t as ugly as they think they are. How conventionally (which its subjective) someone is depends on the effort they’re putting into themselves. If someone lets themselves go they go downhill.

Men and women have their own issues. People judge you no matter what you do…. Just remember that. People also hate on attractive people I would argue as much as ugly ones. People tear others down to make themselves feel better. Someone can be beautiful and someone with low self esteem has to try to hurt someone. Now some people are struggling and NOT taking their pain out on others so it’s not a excuse.

[Summeroflove]

But I feel like your marriage is in SERIOUS trouble. Number one communication is important someone shouldn’t expect someone else to read their mind.

A lot of marriages fail because of this once people start feeling disconnected to their partners those who lack integrity may begin to fancy the idea of cheating and eventually act on that impulse

[Summeroflove]

People cheat for many reasons sometimes it’s as simple as the opportunity arose and they didn’t think they would be caught (sometimes they are sometimes not).

But some people cheat due to or partly because of the fact. Someone else makes them feel beautiful someone pays attention to them in ways they don’t feel as if their husband (or for a male wife) makes them feel.

Others may use sex to feel wanted. To make themselves feel like if someone’s willing to sleep with me then I must be attractive. So they start having sex as a way of fluffing their egos. Then they feel like trash because they let themselves be used as well as cheated on someone they love or at least used to.

Eventually that love fades into resentment and some nasty divorces can happen

[Summeroflove]

Am I saying you’re someone who would cheat? No I’m not saying that I don’t know you or where your integrity is. I’m saying for some people it’s a issue.

But regardless marriages can fail cheating or not. Because people can become so unhappy with one another at some point someone just can’t take anymore of it.

[Puppystarfish23]

Trust me my Husband isn't cheating. He's sleeping next to me right now and holding on to me. He's the love of life and works so hard to give me the best life he doesn't have the time to cheat.

He's such a good man just because he doesn't tell me I'm beautiful often doesn't mean he's cheating or are marriage is in trouble. He always tell me to stop being horrible to myself when I put myself down.

He's just your typical man who struggles to use his emotions verbally but he shows it through his actions and I think actions are stronger than words in my eyes.

It's my husband fault I'm self conscious. I a woman who grew up in the early 2000s when everyone on tv looked stick thin barbies.

If anything my husband has changed me for the better and made me so much more confident and comfortable in myself

[Puppystarfish23]

It's not*

[Puppystarfish23]

Personally I think you drew up one hell of a assumption about my marriage when you don't know me or my husband just because I said my husband doesn't tell me I'm beautiful often therefore are marriage is in trouble and he's cheating.

No marriage is prefect and this is people's issues these days they don't work on things or talk and just rush to assumption.

You literally took one little thing I said about my husband and made out like he was a monster when he's one of the sweetest people ever. It toom him 26 years to find me , the only woman he's ever been with and is extremely shy and nerdy how the hell he gonna cheat..

I'm actually offended on his behalf

[rtj1211]

Depends how your young life panned out.

If you received no praise in 32 years from your mother, were physically bullied from 6-9, emotionally taunted from 10 -14 and sexually derided from 14-17, you're not exactly going to think you're god's gift to women, especially when no girl threw herself at you in school.

You may therefore not be aware of the unspoken, more subtle signals that get made by women as a young man, because the concept you are attractive was bullied out of you over a decade as a child/youth.

Apparently many women believe that 'they mustn't let a guy know they're mad about him', because apparently he'll do the dirty on her if she does. This may work with bad guys who screwed half of NYC growing up, but it doesn't work with more humble guys who quite possibly went on their first date at college.

[Anonymous]

You know whether you're attractive or not. Either you were attractive since you were young or you became attractive later on in life and found yourself confused when people were going out of their way to do things for you. There are levels of attractiveness on the scale but you can slide whichever way really by your own volition (obviously not counting people with serious ailments)

Going back on it being your own volition, I laugh when people say it's not fair for attractive people to be treated better in society when able bodied people are just as capable of being attractive as another attractive person. How bad you vie to is up to you.

[Summeroflove]

True. There is those extremes of conventionally attractive and unattractive. Usually mid rage people are the ones who are more subjective. People between a 5-7 evertone rates them differently to be honest

[Summeroflove]

That’s my point as well how attractive someone is depends on the effort people put into themselves. Genetics may play some role but. You can let yourself go or fix yourself up

[Joshydavid25]

It guess it depends.. If you don't back attention to cues or looks then it'll be hard to know if anybody is looking at you a certain way.. But if you're paying attention, even if you'll notice somebody looking at you longer than usual, or eventually somebody will comment on how you look..

[MJVillarama]

Totally. attractiveness is often hard to gauge because people interpret reactions differently. Most of the time, confidence matters more than looks. Learned this tip from Modern Success. it’s true.

[Anonymous]

Attractive really is a matter of opinion though. I have heard some guys who I personally found ugly call themself attractive. I never told these guys my opinion though. I kept these thoughts to myself. I can control what I say to other people or write online because that’s a choice people make.

I don’t think I can control who I personally think/find attractive or unattractive. I thinks it’s involuntary

[Nikki1989]

Maybe if you are 12 years old, very immature or insecure enough to care what people think.

[Summeroflove]

I mean for people who are single trying to read people. But I get it people should also be adults and just talk to someone. Everyone’s so different

[SotiCoto]

There is a certain degree of subjectivity to it. I've always been weirded out whenever anyone didn't agree with my personal assessment that I'm ugly... but I'm fairly sure most agree that I'm ugly, and thinking otherwise is just a rare and strange opinion.

[Tarifa]

Maybe when I was 15 or 16. But in general lines, yes.

[DrPepper12]

No. EVERYONE knows where they are on the lookism spectrum. Yes, even you "I'm not gay" guys KNOW a handsome man when you see one!

The Golden Ratio rules all!

[Static_In_The_Attic]

If the individual is blind & deaf they might not know if they are attractive.

[zagor]

I think people who are EXTREMELY attractive tend to notice. Guy I used to worked with got pestered by girls of all ages quite a bit.

[loveyouoak]

You are mistaken. I'm not attractive, and I downplay myself. Attractive people always praise themselves.

[NicholasRedone]

@Summeroflove thanks for noticing on behalf of the ladies ,👍🏻🙃

[WonderingManII]

It's hard to say, if you get any feedback really hard to know.

[MOUTHWASHING]

Both men and woman are visual types. So, if you are attractive, you will get hit (and hints)

[Anonymous]

I guess most attractive girls know they are hot.

[BDRick]

In my eyes, I’m sexy as hell

[Shortkay4568]

I am