Is this older man just lonely or crossing creepy boundaries with me?

[Anonymous]

An older man at the bus stop asked me how to use the bus app, so I explained it to him. We ended up riding the same bus, and he started making weird sounds. A few days later, he took the same bus again and got off at the same stop as me. He always makes weird sounds on the bus. He asked where I was going, and I told him I was going to Taco Bell or IHOP and then later to my job, which is about 25 minutes away.

He asked for my phone number, and I asked why. A few hours later, while I was at Taco Bell, he showed up there and asked for my phone. I asked why he needed my phone, and he said he wanted to get to know me and maybe go out to eat or hang out sometime or Link up. He looked to be around 60–70 years old.

Im 20.

i noticed every time a older man ask for help it always lead to something else. I’m not into older guys.

[HollyK21]

It’s up to you to set the boundary, and reading through this, I didn’t see any point where you did so. For example in this paragraph:


“ He asked for my phone number, and I asked why. A few hours later, while I was at Taco Bell, he showed up there and asked for my phone. I asked why he needed my phone, and he said he wanted to get to know me and maybe go out to eat or hang out sometime or Link up. He looked to be around 60–70 years old.”


You don’t specify whether or not you have the guy your number, or if you gave him your phone when he asked for it. In those moments, it would’ve been better for you to decline, because there are men who don’t pick up on social cues or know how to “catch the hint”. They need you to flat out say no, otherwise an action that you feel is harmless will instead give them hope.

On top of that, he didn’t know that you’re not interested in older men. Realistically we can’t negate the fact that there’s young women who prefer and/or specifically date older men. Like I’ve personally heard of some crazy age gaps to where it seems inappropriate for the couple to date.

[HollyK21]

**whether or not you gave**

[Asker]

I gave it away because my former coworker used to tell everyone guys sometimes kill you when you reject them

[Asker]

The state I live in guys attack women for rejecting them

[Asker]

I’m going to try to buy bear spray with me because I’m kinda a scary person

[HollyK21]

I get the concern for sure, and the idea of being harmed for rejecting a guy is definitely scary. However, as women we could be subject to encountering different kinds of harmful situations in our day to day — sexual assault, trafficking, abductions, it feels scary just being a woman in general sometimes. But does that mean we just stop living our lives and using our voices? If a man tried snatching you up on your way to the bus, do you just allow it to happen because you fear death, or fight for your life because you fear death? I don't know about you but I’m fighting, I’m saying no, I’m advocating for myself. If it makes you feel better then absolutely get the bear mace, I’ll always encourage women to carry some form of protection. Just don’t be afraid to say no going forward, because now that he’s got your number, and knows what bus you take, you’ll most likely encounter him again and will have to face this.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice and I was planning on getting my number changed soon too

[HollyK21]

That’s a great idea, but there’s also the whole bus thing to account for. Unless you can get a new car like within the next month then you can be subject to running into him again. Especially since he seems to have taken interest in you, he may make it a point to assure he’s at the bus stop when you are. I think a good option for now would be to get your protection. Also no problem at all hun.

[Iron_Man]

You made this question before on pink anonymous now you’re back at it again

[Asker]

What question
Is you talking about? This the only question I have asked And I run into a lot of perverted or weird men

[Iron_Man]

Is me talking about? I’ve seen this question before from pink anonymous.

[Asker]

If talking another probably about a Hispanic older male and this question right here is black older black man

[Anonymous]

He crossed several lines. Do what you can to keep your distance.

[Danny_dan92]

Take a new bus

[Asker]

Yeah I’m trying to get a car soon these people are weird asl

[Danny_dan92]

Honestly, public transportation tends to have characters like that

[Asker]

Yeah that’s why I’m going to save up for a car

[Danny_dan92]

Good for you