Why does this married guy keep smiling at me when I glare back at him?

[Anonymous]

The thing is, he's married. I think his wife knows he thinks I'm cute or whatever cause I get tension from her. I was trying to be friends/friendly with her, but there is no point. So I'm over that.

We never dated, just thought each other was attractive and funny.

And I see him looking and smiling at me still after years and I just am not comfortable with it and don't get it. I give him a look, and he keeps smiling at me. I don't know if he thinks it's funny or what. I never smile back at him. What's up with that? I wouldn't keep looking and smiling at someone who always gives me a dirty look.

[HollyK21]

I say this with zero disrespect, but your behavior comes off as passive aggressive. By definition passive aggressive means to express negative feelings, like anger or annoyance, indirectly instead of talking about things openly. You went from saying you once found each other attractive and funny, to glaring at him without a word. Unless something transpired to warrant your discomfort then I’m not sure why you’d feel this way about him smiling at you. It’s not like a wink or something, it just sounds like a polite acknowledgment of seeing you — someone he used to have a good rapport with — in public. If you’re trying to set some sort of boundary due to his wife, then that’s totally fair, but then you’d be better off just flat out ignoring him altogether as opposed to glaring.

[Asker]

Things did transpire that haven't been talked about and may never be talked about. My face is saying "f-off" but he doesn't seem to care. He keeps smiling and looking. I guess I'm not strong enough to completely ignore him. Hopefully someday I will be, but I do turn away from him while he's still smiling at me. I feel like the way his wife acts to me and the events that transpired, that he has to know she isn't cool with how he acts to me, so he should stop and ignore me. But he doesn't.

[HollyK21]

If you’ve got the strength to openly and pointedly glare at someone then you should have the strength ignore them. I don’t know if you want that sort of finalization though, and instead are subconsciously hoping that enough glaring will prompt him to approach you first. That’s manipulation, and you should stop doing it. Instead, either find the nerve to clear the air with him or just ignore, no more passive aggressive glare-offs.

[Asker]

No. I. want him to stop. He's the married one. I don't want to talk to him. If you saw that I said there was an issue, why can't my look that says F- off be enough?
I am strong enough to ignore him, he always catches me by surprise and already watching me before I notice him.

[Nikki1989]

Married men are the biggest cheaters on the planet. What do you think they are thinking?

[Asker]

I don't know. That's why I asked.

[Anonymous]

There's this thing called "ignore". Since your dirty looks don't work, just don't look at all. He's not even there doesn't exist. If he's gonna look, he's gonna look, but your dirty looks back at him are a signal he's getting to you, and you keep feeding it. Stop feeding it, and quit whining. When he gets zero reaction from you, and I mean absolute ZERO, that's when he'll quit.

[Asker]

I didn't know I was feeding it. Why would a negative reaction from me be a positive thing to him?

[Opinion Owner]

Because it's still attention, and you're still giving it to him. As I said, he doesn't care that you've rejected him with your dirty looks anymore so long as he can get a rise out of you. Stop treating the situation as if he even exists.

[Asker]

Ok. Sounds like a plan

[Opinion Owner]

Cool. 100% ignore. Not even a dirty look. He doesn't exist anymore. Let us know how this works.

[slatyb]

Just ignore him completely and he will get bored eventually. Where are you meeting them?

[Asker]

That's irrelevant.

[EmmaMary]

Obviously he's desperate to give you a damn good fucking!

[Asker]

Yikes!

[Abbycado]

Because you’re glaring at him?

[Asker]

Wrong. I glare because I see him smiling at me.

[thinkerx]

He dreams about you sexually

[Asker]

Eek!

[thinkerx]

That why smile