Should I ask a girl I knew from high school to hang out just as friends or something?

[doctorwhofan23]

There is a girl who was in my physics class in high school and we talked and stuf. That was a long time ago though we both graduated college now and I kind of want together back in touch.

Updates

+1 y

If you answer please try to help me know what to say

[ArtistBboy]

The honest truth is that no one will be able to think for you. You have to trust your gut and go with that, if we tell you to start hitting on her and (in her head) the old image of you doesn't fit that criteria, you could send this girl for loops and she would be repulsed by our proposed approach to the situation.

So basically, figure out what your intentions are, trust your gut, grow a pair, and make your move. You don't have to start elaborate.. In the past, I've started with simple conversation to get ourselves reaquainted and to know where I stand before I make a fool of myself.. Some conversations like that I hold over Facebook because it's the most convenient way to talk at the time.. But I always prefer a good phone conversation or in person.. Unfortunately you won't ALWAYS have those options ("in person") if you are in similar shoes, just use the resources that are available.. Maybe you are good friends with the family - get in touch with them and see what the plans are for the holidays, maybe and unexpected surprise would turn out for your benefit.

Though my number 1 piece of advice - never put all your apples in one basket.. Like you said, this was a girl from high school - there are STRONG odds that she is tied down.. I'm not saying anything about your intentions with her as I say this, but women have grown weary of guys "suddenly wanting to talk again" especially around lonely holidays. Have a reason for your meet and you'll have less resistance.. Basically, have your intentions be solely about reaquainting.. you don't necessarily have to shoot for a relationship from the bat. Just be curious and try to rediscover her.. See what's going on and be genuinely curious about her life. That's the trick.

~ ArtistBBoy

[TimePhantom]

This is part of the reason they invented Facebook. To stalk hot girls! But seriously if you chat with her on Facebook it's pretty low key and no pressure on there. If she doesn't seem interested she can simply stop talking to you. I would start chatting with her a few times and see how it goes, you should be able to know if she is interested in carrying on the conversation or not. Then after you've talked once or twice, wait for her to start chatting with you, and if she does then you know that she is thinking of you and is wanting to talk to you more.

[doctorwhofan23]

I guessed already know each other and stuff

[madmisskelly]

I think you could always find her on Facebook and start slow.

Its touchy because you haven't seen or talked to her in a long time and you don't want to look too stalkerish. So, find her on Facebook, and if you have a decent amount of mutual friends, start talking to her, see if she initiates any conversation and then go from there.

[doctorwhofan23]

We are Facebook friends already but we usually only say gabby birthday and stuff

[madmisskelly]

try initiating a bit of conversation, but I wouldn't push it too much if she doesn't initiate much conversation back.

[doctorwhofan23]

I am kind of scared though

[madmisskelly]

Well if you are going to make anything happen you just gotta go for it, otherwise you'll get what you've always gotten.

[doctorwhofan23]

True your right and she is nice so she would not be mean about it

[madmisskelly]

There ya go! Go for it!

[doctorwhofan23]

Any thoughts on what to say?

[madmisskelly]

Just start slow- a "hey how ya doin?" Followed by follow up questions- ask how school, work, life is going. Remember these details, and ask about them in the near future. Nothing too significant right away.

[doctorwhofan23]

That works but I need to head book to school in a few weeks

[MrEM4N]

I don't agree with asking her boring questions about school, work and life. You'll only come across as normal and won't build any attraction. If you're trying to ignite a spark you should keep the Facebook chatting to a minimum and try to do most of your conversations in person.

[madmisskelly]

Sometimes its harder to do it in person- meaning build up to asking her to coffee or go do something. You've gotta start somewhere. Get used to chatting, then to hanging out, it will flow more naturally.

[doctorwhofan23]

I just wish I knew Whatto say and how to say it

[skyeisblue]

Definitely. Just find her number or something and ask her out for, like, coffee or something, something casual, like best friends would do. Like, a movie or something. One that she really wants to see.

[doctorwhofan23]

Would bowling work

[skyeisblue]

yeah its totally casual and a great way to have fun with 'friends'

[doctorwhofan23]

I an scared

[skyeisblue]

dont me scared, its okay :) you just have to go for it. Even though I'm yway younger than you I know its okay to feel skeptical. just go for it! tell me what happens if you do!

[doctorwhofan23]

I might try but it is scary

[DishLady]

Hmm. Yes, you should ask her out -- "to hang out" is a nice way to put it. The manner in which you ask her depends on how well you know each other, though.

[doctorwhofan23]

On Facebook though?

[DishLady]

Hmm. Well, I've seen that with one of my friends and it turned out okay, but the way he went about it was:

(1) Chatting about random things on FB -- I'm told that in this instance a private message are better than "Chat"...

(2) What are you doing for ____ (Christmas, New Year, Day 8 of Chanukah... etc.) ? Oh, you're not busy? Would you like to meet me for ____ (coffee, dinner, etc.)?

(3) Ask for the phone number and offer yours. Set a time to call.

Voila. Mission accomplished.

[MrEM4N]

Be direct. Facebook her and start the conversation of normal. "Hey Steph(or use a nickname you might of had for her in the past), how are you?" Her response will be pretty generic at which point you'll respond with something like "Its been so long since we've talked and I remember you always had the most interesting things to say. Lets grab some coffee this weekend"

Most women are pretty open to first dates as long as you seem normal and haven't completely let go of yourself since HS.

[-ALPHA-]

you're asking people what to say to her? Mate if you're interested in a girl, ask yourself why? So if you meet up with her you're gonna ask us what to talk about? If you're interested in her ask her what YOU want to know about her or whatever...

[doctorwhofan23]

I need advice though I need some I want to start off with something good

[allison_lynn]

Yeah! Just message her on Facebook/or text her saying something along the lines of "Hey! How've you been? It's been a while, we should get together sometime and catch up."

[doctorwhofan23]

What should we do

[allison_lynn]

Go grab coffee or something. It doesn't have to be a big date or anything, if you haven't seen this girl in a while she could have totally changed into someone you don't even like. You're just catching up and seeing if you like each other. Don't put too much pressure on it.

[SauceBoss]

Definitely ask her. Just go out for a drink or maybe grab some lunch together to catch up. I am sure she would be more than happy to hear from an old friend.

[AmberChick]

Sure, why not

just say what you said here that sounds casual enough

try and be friends with her and see what happens

[doctorwhofan23]

What are good activities? I am a bit nervous

[BoobMan]

No. Not if you want to date her. And if you want to be friends, you should just ask her to hang out. Not to hang out "as friends." There's really no instance where it makes sense to ask that.

[genes]

The right question to ask yourself is why not ? and not Why should I ? If you didn't, the what if's in the future will be in your head. Why let yourself ponder over it ? Give it a shot, ask her out, for drinks / coffee anytime.

[doctorwhofan23]

I am scared though

[ManFromHat]

Yes, do it.

Just say "Hey, do you remember me?" and move on from there :)

[BriLove12]

Go for it. You have nothing to lose.

[doctorwhofan23]

What should I say or suggest we do

[ice-chik]

start off with Facebook :D

[doctorwhofan23]

What should I say

[ManFromHat]

yes, ask her, go for it!

[Anonymous]

Yep you Should find her and start talking (:

[doctorwhofan23]

What would I say

[Opinion Owner]

Hey remember me?

[doctorwhofan23]

She knows who I am and stuff but usually we only say anything to each other on our birthdays on Facebook

[Alanaaa]

Yeah, why not?

[doctorwhofan23]

I'm. Scared

[Alanaaa]

Aw, that's so cute.

[doctorwhofan23]

But I don't want to be scared but I can't get over it