If I touch guys in clubs while talking/dancing, will they think I want to get laid?

[cenicienta]

I've started to run my hands over a guy's (upper) body while dancing or just touching guys casually and get really close to them while talking, because I really like their bodies lol I always do what I feel like doing and forget about what he or others may think. the problem is, I never want to kiss them but they do. I just like to touch them and to be touched. and I'm very inexperienced by the way.

do I give off mixed signals like that? my friends said I shouldn't do it if I don't wanna kiss them...do you agree?

basically I'd like to know, what you guys would think if a girl did that to you.

[BoobMan]

It's absolutely an indication of interest, but not quite enough for me to thing you'd want to be kissed yet. I'd probably start ramping up the physical contact more slowly than jumping to a kiss. Like pulling you close, running my hands down your back and maybe over your ass. If you seem cool with that and keep your hands on my chest, I'll probably spend more time with my hands on your butt. Then maybe turn you around and grind a bit. This should be all socially acceptable because we're dancing. It would also make it easier to get my face close to your neck. On the dance floor, that's where I'd probably start to get closer to kissing. Not lips right away. Just breathing on your neck, seeing how you respond, then maybe kissing your neck, seeing how you respond, etc.

Eventually we'd either be kissing on the lips, your somewhere in there (probably before kissing) I'd hit a point of resistance wherever you are comfortable going.

[cenicienta]

i'd be OK with all those things, but I wouldn't let you kiss me on the lips lol I don't know its just way too intimate for me. but the other things I'd let a lot of "just handsome" guys do, even if I don't like them that much.

does that make me mean?:(

[BoobMan]

Not really. You just have your limits. What about the guy running his hands over the front of your body from your waist while your back is to him and you're grinding? I like to test the waters on touching her boobs by running my hands up from her waist, over her boobs to her shoulders and then back down. Would you allow it or would I get the dreaded "hand grab" when I reached your stomach?

[cenicienta]

hand grab :)

if I'm somewhere where absolutely no one knows me then MAYBE I'd think about it. but I still doubt it lol

[BoobMan]

Hahaha! Yeah. That's a tough one. But success usually means a kiss is definitely on the table.

So if after all of your non-kissing dancing, the guy gets your number and ask you out on a date, would you be likely to go, and would you likely kiss him then?

[cenicienta]

yes that's how it usually goes. they ask for number in the end and contact me after a few days. but I'm usually too scared to see a guy again if I liked him :(

[BoobMan]

What? So you only go out with guys you DON'T like? That's crazy! Why don't you see the guys you like? That's crazy!

[cenicienta]

yea that's almost true :-/

i feel really self-conscious if I liked the guy and I have to meet him again. epecially if its outside the club scene...

[BoobMan]

That's at least a little insane! LOL! So basically, in order for you to go farther with a guy, you need to like him LESS? Hahaha!

[cenicienta]

no, I wouldn't go anywhere (physically) with a guy I don't like

[BoobMan]

So when do you kiss a guy? If you only go on dates with guys you don't like that doesn't sound promising.

[cenicienta]

the guys that I already like a lot on the first night. but its really rare.

later I'm like they're to perfect to like me, so I usualy don't go see them again...

[BoobMan]

Hahahaha! So basically what I'm hearing is that we should make it a point to have a good flaw or two so that we don't get shut out by that line of thinking. What kind of flaws are best to have from the perspective of not seriously putting you off but actually making it MORE likely that you'll want to go on a date again, kiss, and eventually more?

[cenicienta]

lol I like the way you think. you think as complicated as me :P

[BoobMan]

LOL!

[BoobMan]

Thanks for Best Answer! ;)

[Anonymous]

haha, well it's certainly going to look that way! men generally will read that as a sign that you straight-up want to bed them - or at least make out with them. or if they've got a girlfriend, well let's just say you'll be hearing from her.

I would suggest that you stop this before you get taken advantage of...tbh in some ways it's the men who are being taken advantage of here. If a man were to do that to girls he'd get slapped or beaten up and called a pervert...but hey double-standards as always.

[cenicienta]

haha yea I guess you're right. but that's the cool thing about being a girl. and guys being guys lol

although some were pissed at the end of the night, I don't think they'd accuse me of using them :)

what do you mean I should stop it before gettng taken advanteage of? I do say no if I don't wanna do something...

[Opinion Owner]

well, you might come across a misogynistic, nutcase, pervert who wouldn't take "no" for an answer. some men are animals with no self-control (emphasis on SOME)

[cenicienta]

ye guys never believe me when I say no.

but that's because my "no"'s are not very convincing (ccording to my friends). I just can't be a bitch

[Anonymous]

Ummmmm duh! Why do you need to be touching them? that makes you look either very slutty or very desperate and attention seeking.

[cenicienta]

well I like men! lol

no, seriously I just like touching them. and I don't think anyone would ever see me as slutty..

more likely they'd think I'm shy, innocent or hard-to-get

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry, but you sound so stupid. You look slutty and desperately attention seeking or both. You don't look like this shy, innocent, hard to get girl that you'd like to believe you look like. You really don't. You just look trashy and slutty. Even if a guy was intersted in you, once he observes you with your hands all over multiple guys, he's going to get the wrong idea about you. I'm around men all the time and have been my entire life. I know what I'm talking about.

[cenicienta]

Sorry gitl, but you don't know me, neither have you ever seen me. I appreciate the effort though.

[Opinion Owner]

Listen, it's not about knowing who you are. The random guys you dance with at clubs aren't going to know who you are but when they see you dancing with different guys and touching them they're going to think you're a skank. Why ask for an opinion if when you get one all you do is argue, insisting that I'm wrong? because I didn't tell you what you want to hear?

[cenicienta]

Lol I'm not gonna fight with you.

[Opinion Owner]

good because it's not something to fight over. I'm just saying don't ask for opinions if you just want someone to tell you what you want to hear and if it's not what you want to hear, you dismiss the possibility of it.

[cenicienta]

Haha if I really only wanted to hear positive comments, I wouldn't have given you +1. Again, you don't know me so stop making assumptions.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not making assumptions about who you are. I'm just being honest and real with you about the fact that guys will think you're a ho if you act like that.

[Opinion Owner]

You seem to think doing that is charming or sexy or something positive, but I'm just telling you, in reality it makes you look bad.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Guys want sex, you're giving them the idea that they have a pretty good shot of getting it with you.

[cenicienta]

aww too bad :(

thanks for answering!

[WeaponZero]

When a girl looks really good, and she acts a certain way towards a guy, the "wishful thinking" starts to cloud his mindset. And while he wouldn't read too deeply into it if she weren't all that attractive, wishful thinking will lead to reading into it and getting the wrong impression if she is.

[cenicienta]

thats actually cool, because I'm not really good looking :)

[WeaponZero]

Opinions will be varied there.

[WeaponZero]

By the way why the name change again? =P

[cenicienta]

its not that I want to change my name all the time. its that after a while I come back to this site again.

last time I deleted my account I thought it's for good though, but I had to come back to talkt o a good friend...

[WeaponZero]

But that name was way cooler than this one =( Just stop deleting your accounts and come back way later to ask questions =)

[cenicienta]

nah I had to delete it, I spent too much time on here back then. but now I have more time. although the questions get old..and you guys should create an App for this!

[browolf]

I'd think the same. Maybe you should limit yourself to touching guys you would want to kiss. That way it saves time and effort putting them off when they're inevitably confused about your intentions. It's hardly their fault you're doing something wildly different to other girls.

[cenicienta]

i only wanted to kiss 2 guys in all my life, so that'd suck :)

[cenicienta]

and you're right its probably my fault...

[browolf]

I'm sure some more will turn up.

[cenicienta]

i doubt it.

my friends think I'm picky, but its just that I want looks AND personality. and brain and with lol but yea...i can't kiss someone just becaues they're beautiful

[cenicienta]

*wit

[yopyopyop]

Well you're like a kid in a candy shop ;)

Just keep in mind that men go to such places to get laid. I think your friends are right about this; and this could get you in trouble.

So better stop it indeed, unless you are really interested in the guy.

[cenicienta]

and candy is addicting :P I really don't know if I wanna stop doing it lol thanks for the advice though :)

[Anonymous]

well, you're very young. One night will come when you'll prefer to GET THE guy instead of going home alone and masturbate thinking about the guy.

This will come naturally. You're just experimenting right now. You lack experience and that makes you back off sometimes.

[cenicienta]

i fear you're right :-/

[kraftty]

well being one of those wimpy/geek boys . id love it and would hope for more but if nothing more happen i`d still love that bit of touching we shared! thanks paull

[cenicienta]

:) cool thanks!

[Rashad]

well, if you like touching them and you like them touching you. it means you find him attractive. why not just get laid then ?

[cenicienta]

because being handsome alone is not enough for that.

[Rashad]

got to have fun sometimes

[cenicienta]

my friends say the same. but meh...its not fun if I don't like them

[Rashad]

lol! I don't get it... if you're attracted to them doesn't that mean you like them?

[cenicienta]

no, it means I think they're handsome, but I don't like them personality wise.

as soon as they open their moulth I get turned off.

maybe next time I'm just gonna tell them to be quiet :D what a good idea, thanks! :P

[Rashad]

lol

[cenicienta]

guys won't think its mean right?

as long as they get what they want, riiiight? :)

[Anonymous]

you wouldn't let some one your not attracted to you hug/ touch you etc. girls will put their hand on a guys chest at times when they are making out sometimes.

[cenicienta]

I do that too, but when we're not making out lol

[Opinion Owner]

yeah that's what I meant so you may be accidentally giving off the wrong idea, cause to them that could be connected to making out etc

[markml]

Some will...

But there's no reason you have to kiss a guy if you don't want to, especially if you've just met him.

I think it also depends how you're touching them. Is it friendly touching or something less innocent?

[HVACR]

Normally Yes ,it mean he has a go ahead to try to get laid. This comes from me being a bartender in Hollywood for the past eight years!

[cenicienta]

wow OK thnaks!

[SlickRicky]

they're probably not thinking with their brain- so, well you know the rest...

[Love_is_in_the_air]

umm yeah lol next time don't touch unkess you want to play till the end lol

[Ezmotts]

That's going to give them the wrong idea, don't do it if you don't want them.

[Anonymous]

Since you look pretty attractive They probably are Hoping for the best

[cenicienta]

erm you don't know me...

[rockingpianoman]

touch = attraction = sometimes sex

so yeah

[cenicienta]

just because he has nice body doesn't mean I'd sleep with him :S guys jump to conclusions waaay to fast :O

[rockingpianoman]

yeah , most of us are like that :D but I wouldn't really go for the sex part ( a lot of guys would ) but I would conclude this

a) you are attracted to my looks

b) maybe you would want more

so I would probably ask your number if I would not forget it :D

[cenicienta]

well a) is kinda true.

but that would never ever mean I'd kiss you.

i know for most girls it does though