This married woman keeps flirting with my boyfriend. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is a server at a restaurant. There is this attractive woman who is also a server there. He is only 22 and she is 10 years older and married with a child. When he started working there, I met her, and she was very nice to me. There were a couple of occasions where she said she might come meet up with us downtown some nights, but never came. He says he is just being nice, and he is like that with everyone he works with. He just wants to have friends at his job. He admits that she can be flirty with him. I was looking at his phone, (I know, I was being a snoop) and I uncovered a text message he sent her saying that he was out with the other people from work and it was boring without her. Then she texts him back saying all this flirty stuff. Then she sends him a picture of a heart saying "I like u" on it. He didn't respond.

I was so taken back by this. I first flipped out on him. I actually broke up with him and punched him in the face. He cried forever and eventually convinced me to be back with him, saying he never intended on hurting me and I was blowing it out of proportion. He promised me he would ignore her and he wouldn't go to the bar when she is there. I am still mad at him though. But tonight he has to work with her again. I am afraid of her flirting with him again. I actually managed to get her number from his phone, and I want to text her asking her to stop or else I will tell her husband.

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

i'm not too sure about the punching him in the face thing. its better to be upfront and honest with him about how you feel and what you found out (on his phone). this woman is a hag and I'd personally go punch her in the face not my boyfriend. I'd tell her to back off and go home to her husband and family. she has no right to be flirting with your boyfriend like that. its inappropriate especially because she's married. not to mention her complete lack of professionalism around the workplace. not only would I threaten to tell her husband but I'd threaten to blow the wistle on her to management where they work. some employers actually take sexual harassment in the workplace very seriously regardless if its a man or (older) woman. don't get mad get even. payback's a bitch! and so is she :o)

[ThunderKathryn]

I'm having the same situation with my boyfriend but under different circumstances. and I completely agree with you! I just wanna punch her! lol

[NerdInDenial]

For the record, you are a crazy girl! Anyway, you ought to trust your boyfriend. If you don't, your relationship won't last. You can talk to her, and tell her that you find her flirting with your boyfriend inappropriate. It would be better if your boyfriend talked to her. However, you're not going to stop your boyfriend from cheating if he chooses to cheat.

[Asker]

Hahaha I am not a crazy girl. We were already fighting and not on the best terms when this all happened. He actually always gives me crap for having friends that were guys, and that is what we were fighting over. However, we don't flirt. I looked at his phone which is something I am not proud of, and I will admit that was too much. If he is gonna cheat, then I can't stop that, you're right. It is just hard for me to accept that he has to work around her and she says those things to him.

[NerdInDenial]

This is not going to be the only time your boyfriend is going to be approached by women. If he's attractive, sexy, hot, or whatever you want to describe him as, women will naturally flock towards him. I understand your frustration because she is a threat.

[Asker]

Yeah, I know that girls will approach him. I am alright with that. The thing that bothers me is that he sees her all the time and she texts him alot. Even though he didn't respond to the "I like u" thing, he still keeps talking to her because they are "friends." It seems as though she is taking it too far, and I want her to stop before she makes things worse. I just feel very disrespected. I don't want to be "crazy" and text her, but I don't know what else to do. Especially because she is marrie

[NerdInDenial]

You can talk to her woman to woman. Ask her what her intentions are with your boyfriend.