I'm a lesbian but I'm attracted to a man ?

[Anonymous]

Firstly I am a lesbian or so I thought,but recently I have found myself sort of attracted to a male friend.we get on really well & we flirt with each other in a friendly way.But lately I'm finding him on my mind more & more,he calls & tx's quite often which makes it all the more harder for me.i don't want to risk the friendship but not sure how long I keep on like this.would it occur to him to make a move on me baring in mind he thinks I'm gay ? any advice on this situation please.

Updates

+1 y

unfortunatly I don't have the confidence to make a move on him out right,he said to me on a night out last month that if I was straight then he would be interested,but we'd been drinking,so not sure.what can I do to let him know he can make a move ?

[Eric644]

you are probably gonna have to make the move, you are gonna have to let your feelings be known to him. Since he knows you are a lesbian, he is gonna think you are off limits. Since you are interested in him for some reason, you are gonna have to make the first move, it may surprise him at first but he'll follow your lead after that. You are gonna have to say something like "Even though i'm a lesbian, I am attracted to you for some strange reason, I would like to be more than friends with you and see if this could work." You are also gonna have to seduce him if you want anything sexual with this guy, chances are he will be afraid to. Trust me, I've been that guy in a couple situations (ive had lesbians come on to me and I've slept with them). Good luck and let me know how it goes for you.

[Jarett]

You're not a lesbian. You're probably just found girls attractive, so you thought you were lesbian. And since you thought you were lesbian, you started trying to live into that role of being lesbian.

But as far as the guy, just be friends with him and flirt with him. Tease him, laugh at his jokes, touch him lightly a lot on the arms and such.

[Hercules]

Jarett my be right about your sexuality, though I don't know for sure. I do believe he's right about how you should go about letting him know you like him.

[l-hedoniste]

Last time I checked, there was no rule in the Lesbian Deportment Omnibus that said that lesbians may only sleep with women for the remainder of their natural lives.

Having slept with a few, I suspect there is no such rule.

[Someguy88]

As a guy who has a lesbian friend, I believe it is up to the female to make the first move in this circumstance. Given the fact he knows you're gay, it puts him in the position to have two choices. First, he can accept you for what you told him you are. Second, he can risk a wonderful friendship. A great guy is always going to choose being your friend. It's the guy that would risk the friendship that you should worry about. So, if you truly are attracted to him, make a move. You are the only one who can. If it turns out that he's not attracted to you, then he is most likely going to still be your friend. If he doesn't want to be your friend then he's not worth it anyway.

[lolli]

guess maybe the next time you are drinking, you could make a few not so subtle hints. then you wouldn't be so nervous. then later when you are sober, he'll ask about the things you said and did, and then you can easier say, yeah. you meant to say and do those things. you value his friendship, but you see more than that in him.

[XxbitemeXx]

Why must we label ourselves? We're humas who get sexual urges for other humans. Maybe for you t was mostly girls til now. Now its for a guy. Go with the flow.

As longas everyones 18+ and consenting just date who you like and screw the labels. Boxes are for the narrow minded

[l-hedoniste]

Oh, come on! Your man, while drinking with you, mind you, says if you're straight, then he's interested, and you're still not sure? What do you need? Landing lights?

Take him out. Take him drinking. Tell him that you're straight if he's interested.

It gets no easier.

[Asker]

Ok well when you put it like that I feel silly as yer it seems obvious,but I don't know.i thought he was just paying a compliment.as in I'm gay so it never gonna happen,would he of said that if he knew I wasnt gay.

[l-hedoniste]

It's true, but the central point is that if you *don't* make a move, you lose everything.

[jjmarvin]

Try not to keep definitions or barriers on yourself. I find guys cute sometimes. If i was ever in your situation and the right one came along that i wanted to "court" as well id like to think i could have the courage to ask.

Just ask him if he meant it, i bet he says yes :)

[JayC23]

Dang. I told a lesbian friend that I liked them a lot but that I respect her sexuality and relationship. She told me she liked me a lot and that she would date me if I was straight and could see us being together. Since then we became super close and are almost like childhood besties. Although occasionally some of the things I do feel like we are a couple besides sex and that. Oh well I guess I’ll have to wait and see if she becomes single and makes a move.

[Hercules]

He'd probably be very wary if he thinks you're gay. I think you'd have to make the first move. If it hurts too much to keep being friends and you have to let your feelings out, do so.

[metaldave20]

well, you may just be bi-curious, either that or bi-sexual, try it out, see how it works