She's not the lovey dovey type...

[spacebooger]

so I starting dating this girl I had been talking to for awhile (10 days ago)...we get along well we talk everyday we talk about everything and anything...we hangout as much as we possibly can while I'm around, she even admitted while I was gone a few days she thought she would be fine but all she could think about was me being there. I care for her deeply...i have never felt this way toward anyone else, and when she said that I was surprised...cuz she's not the type that says "i love you" and she even admits to being lousy at knowing how to be a good girlfriend. but she is a good gf...just not emotionally good like she tells me if she's crying that staying and trying to help would just be bad...she say's she hits...but I don't care I'll be there for her. my only thing is...she not at all the lovey dovey type which I know is kinda weird to say...but I kinda like when I girl would give me a nick name or just say babe or post something even on Facebook mentioning me...she does for all her friends guy friends but never me...i'll go to work and and be like "hey I'm off to work leave me something nice babe <3" and I'll get this kinda of response "like what?" I mean really just something nice could be anything I don't care...but if your boyfriend said something like that to you wouldn't you understand?

Updates

+1 y

i had been "talking" to her since around October...if that helps the why I feel much different about her but not like "in love" just I feel more stronger feelings towards her then I have felt before...toward anyone...make sense?

Updates

+1 y

and no not fishing for compliments, she just seems to have changed like 2 weeks before we started dating, its like made me confused...because she does all the stuff I want...but only with her friends which I use to be and yes she did the that when we were talking...so just kinda made me unsure of what had happened...i'm just gonna take a nice step back from the situation...give her less attention and just chill...i'm not pushy or anything but I try my best to be a good bf...and not a douche bag

Updates

+1 y

not a complete step back...but enough to where it would get her to message me first like she use to...all the time...instead of me hitting her up first...i'll try it for like a day or so just to see...but I need to do something, also she has a lot of guy friends...and most of which had admitted to her of liking her...and she has basically already dated several of them, and one of them has said a few things I def don't appreciate to her and one thing was pretty rude but it was written indirectly

[jennyv]

My old boyfriend was like you in a way. He was a great boyfriend, don't get me wrong, he was just much more into the relationship than I was. He was the 'lovey dovey' type, and I'm not. And sorry, I never will be. I'm a tomboy at heart, I don't like one person taking up all my time and I don't think I need to prove that I like a guy everyday by saying something cute/spending a ton of time with him. That may sound cold, but I mean I do like saying cute things sometimes, and I do like spending time with a guy, just not ALL the time.

Anywho, my boyfriend got angry at me, he felt that I didn't care about him because I wasn't the lovey dovey type. I got angry at him, because I felt like I was showing him I cared but obviously not enough. We broke up. Moral of the story: things may work out at first since you care about her so much, but eventually what I think will happen is that you realize how frustrated you are. You will realize that you want more of that 'lovey dovey' stuff and that she can't offer it. Which will frustrate both of you.

I'm not saying you should give up on the relationship, if you care about her that much then try to work it out. Just know that you can't fix it when people want different things in the relationship. Best of luck!

[planetearth]

I've dated girls like you a lot. I mostly liked it, but yeah I need some reciprocation of something. I'll admit I like attention, not too much. But I really hate it when a girl I'm dating needs her "alone time" or whatever. In these cases I question the relationship too much for my own good. It's just stressful and hard. The way relationships should not be. I appreciate someone's independence but I think relationships are meant to spend time together. Or at least my version of one.

[jennyv]

I respect where you're coming from. It's like the situation I talked about where both of us expect different things out a relationship, and as you said its "stressful and hard". And I didn't mean to insinuate that I don't want to spend ANY time with my boyfriend, just my old boyfriend wanted me to spend more time with him than I could. It was a busy time in my life...trust me.

[planetearth]

I think things would be different if couples communicated more clearly on how they defined the relationship. I know I would of known more of what to expect and how I should react to things. But I also guess it's just a compatibility issue in some respects, although I always think there's some room for a little give and take in a relationship.

[jennyv]

I agree! I wish I would have known earlier in the relationship what he wanted. And of course if a compromised can be reached than it should be. Sometimes there is too much difference in opinion/desires to reach a compromise (that both people can be happy with) unfortunately.

[gemglam]

I would say the same thing it sounds like you are fishing for compliments. However I don't like the sound of this girl. "She hits" Seriously no on has a right to put hands on anyone else and if she doesn't know how to control her emotions she shouldn't be dating anyone. Also Everyone is the lovey dovey type when they want to be it may be hard for some more than others but no one is stone cold. And another thing you have been dating her for 10 days and you have deep feelings for her..what the hell? dude that's way too fast. Slow down man. Unless you are dying of something terminal, you need to put the brakes on it. This girl sounds like bad news already just from your limited description. She hasn't told anyone about you even though she says she misses you, SHE HITS!, she doesn't know how to appreciate a guy, SMH (shaking my head) Pleas I implore you, walk away from this one. I don't care how banging her body is, or how much she hits the spot in been. Do it before she gets preggo and you are stuck with her for 18 awful years.

[kitty007]

if you like more affectionate girls you should probably be with one of them. there's a couple of things I see here, one is that it does seem like you're fishing for affection. I probably would've responded with "like what" like she did. that said, she doesn't seem like the kind of girl you'd wanna stick around for. I understand how hard it is to express affection because I'm like that, but if she does that for her guy friends and not you there's a problem.

[planetearth]

I'm a lot like you. I usually date these types and am now. It's tough. Mostly because you're not completely sure were you stand with the person. You will be asking yourself does she really like me? Is she just being nice? Is she just guarded in her feelings? All of the above? You will ask these a lot. It's beginning to stress me out in my personal situation. I like to know, otherwise I just feel like a dope. If I had the choice I'd choose the more affectionate type that wants to see me more. I've had that it fewer problems arise.

I think it stems from some insecurity on our part (males), but who can really blame us. It is still early in your relationship so I wouldn't worry too much about it. I on the other hand; it has been 3 months and I feel lousy lately. It can almost feel one-sided, which is disastrous for a relationship. Just be careful.

[spacebooger]

yup hit the nail on the head, exactly how I feel all day long

[planetearth]

Just read your update. Stepping back won't necessarily solve your problem. It might. But I tried the same thing and went 5 days with no contact with my girlfriend. On the fifth day (today) I called, got no answer and just decided to go to her house. Turns out she's not feeling well, but told me nothing. I stayed and hung out for 3 hours with her. I think she appreciated it, but made no mention of my absence. We kissed and held hands, but I don't know if I'm satisfied. I feel pretty disposable, idk.

[Phoenix52]

Well, she said it herself. She's a 'lousy girlfriend'.

You shouldn't try to force her to be a good girlfriend with compliments now and again. Instead, just have fun with her and treat her like she's a cool friend. Because, to tell you the truth, you're the one who's 'in love with her' while she doesn't feel the same way.

So you may want to change that up a bit. Don't care about her too much. You're probably putting value into her in being a 'good girlfriend' because she's attractive. But she's emotionally distant, which would label her as a 'FWB' if it were me.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I would've said the same thing lol, you told me you want something what is it? If you know she likes you then you shouldn't feel any type of way about it just some women don't feel it necessary to be over invested with the "owe babe", "sweetie pie". But I mean you could ask her to give you a pet name, you can just be straight forward with her.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you're fishing for compliments or that your ego is hurt. I know how you feel. It's aggravating and frustrating when you're dating someone who acts like that. It can feel like you care more than they do and that's not a good feeling at all. Some girls just are not affectionate and they try to say stuff like "The guy just has an ego" or "I'm just an independent girl who doesn't need to be affectionate" to make up for it

[palek]

Does she know you think of yourself as interplanetary nostril dishcarge?

[gemglam]

LOL. The name does grab your attention though

[palek]

Yuppers. ; - )

[spacebooger]

obviously that's why the names there.

[palek]

Of course there are various ways of commanding attention. For instance, I could drop my drawers a pinch-off a big a big red steamer on the floor, and turn every head within sight, or, I could push a youngster out of the way of a speeding train and die in the process, and turn at least as many heads. It's a matter of what we wish to be remembered for.

[daytrader]

This girl needs to buy a clue. Why waste your time on her? She obviously doesn't know how to "provide" for a man emotionally or physically, and it will probably take her years of failed relationships to figure it out.

[gemglam]

exactly