I'm giving up trying to get a girlfriend!

[Anonymous]

I've come to the conclusion that I'm no good at this.

It's not like I haven't tried. I've worked at it, worked at my social skills, getting better with girls, and Lord knows how far I've come. But all I have to show for it is one measly date and a bunch of rejections and a bunch of noncommittal answers.

I don't get it...I'm smart, working on a great career, I have a lot of hobbies, I can make people laugh. I tease, I flirt. And yet I've come up empty.

You never know whether a girl's actually flirting and interested or flirting and just being friendly.

The last straw was this girl who I was never more sure had attraction to me, and yet she wouldn't even hang out with me one on one, or rather was non-committal about it and created confusion. That's the worse because then it lingers and you always think you can do something more. And here I am, eight months later, constantly thinking about her when she doesn't even look at me anymore and flirts with other guys. Constantly weighing on my mind...it's a nightmare I can't get away from.

By the day, it seems easier and easier for other people and harder and harder for me. And I don't get it.

I'm thinking of just being cold and assholish to every girl I meet since it doesn't make a difference in the end anyway. At least that way I protect myself.

[xilixili]

i give up getting a boyfriend either,

and I think I'm a really good girl, I study in Technology univeristy , here are so many guys , but a few girls , guys often look at me when I go out , but no one come up to me , they think girls study arts are very flighty, its so unfair to me, I have been single for more than 5 years , I just don't know how to approach boys , there were guy asked my roommates if I have boyfriend, my roommates told I'm single, but still no one come up to me , I really don't know why , I look like very decent , a bit cold , but I'm so kind and passionate inside .

and I'm tired of thinking about it, just be single , its not that bad, if I have to be alone forever, OK, I would love to be forever alone girl ^^

so stop thinking over this complicated stuff, enjoy your everyday life. its the most important !

good for you !

[Asker]

well, the thing with me, is I take action and it still doesn't work. I know girls are waiting to be asked out, which is why I come up to them and initiate. But I've gotten nothing. Maybe you're wishing for someone to come, but if someone does, you don't like him. That seems to be the case with me at least, I got up to them and I guess they don't like me "like that". Maybe it's not as easy as some people make it out to be.

[xilixili]

are they happy to be your friend ?

but they don't want you as boyfriend ?

u have tried , it didn't work .

so just wait for the right one to come up.

but why they don't want you as bf? you look good ? are you sweet mouth ? you know how to pleasure girls ?

[shenholds09]

though some girls like a**holes, you should not turn into an a**hole. Trust me one day you will meet the right girl and maybe she will be like you and will of had to come a far way to get to that point you shouldn't give up, try other ways of finding a girl I'm not sure where your looking but there are plenty of ways to find someone sweet (:

[Asker]

there isn't always someone for everyone. Explain the multitudes of middle-aged single people. That's just life. Some people meet and others don't and I guess I'm in the second category.

[shenholds09]

no, don't feel like that, have you tried long distance.. and some people don't want to find someone

[Anonymous]

Please don't grow cold, those noncomittal answers probably came from girls who went through relationships that made them cold for the time being. It doesn't help. :(

[Asker]

yeah, and then those same girls turn around and flirt with other guys, try to get their attention, etc. So much for them being cold.

[Opinion Owner]

Hey! That's a good thing then, you just weeded out the liars, who needs those?

[awesomedude8113]

It's not a matter of weeding out the liars, it's a matter of weeding out the game players. Some women will attempt to attract your attention strictly for that reason... ATTENTION. That's what it boils down to, women crave attention. If she's gone cold, odds are she's mad she hasn't gained your attention, validation, etc... Especially if this chick was in the younger crowd (18-26). MOST of the time, women grow out of this phase after 30. Then again, women lose that card they hold after 30 only because men typically go after physical attraction. And since their looks tend to fade after 25, odds are not in their favor once they hit the 30 year mark. I wish I had more space to explain my reasoning, but with the 1000 character limit, this is almost impossible. But hopefully I've driven my point across... somewhat.

[jeremy20]

I must say I'm in the same position. After being cheated on in an 8 year long relationship/engagement, I got back in the game and had terrible dates...It seems to me girls just aren't into the lovey dovey stuff anymore...its all about sex, partying, and freedom. Sucks for us romantics. I wouldn't suggest becoming cold and A-holish, but I would still suggest protecting yourself.

[GreenPenguin]

Look at that, another one bites the dust!

I gave up too, till I went skating in the ice hall, got a note with the MSN address to a very cute girl, she became my first girlfriend. So don't worry too much about girls, do other things you like to do, and she'll come around. I'm pretty sure she will C:

[himoto15]

The first thing I would say is do not beat yourself up over this decision. I gave up myself and I am 28. What I do is occupy my time wisely and maintain whatever friendships I currently have in my life. You will feel a slight bitterness, but place those feelings into avenues that benefit you. The gym, music, or whatever. Just occupy yourself, meditate/pray, and be happy with this decision. Best wishes from Florida.

[49erfan]

I can relate to you a lot thanks for posting this , all I can say is find something else that makes ya happy , like a video game , just keep being nice to females , my ex was a friend its just different in your county probably , just save cash thats always good also

[CBryan]

Welcome to the club!
I gave up too. I kept getting told that I'm a great guy, smart and talented, but just not attractive enough to date. They say that initial physical attraction needs to exist and if it doesn't, it's very hard to get them interested.

[Anonymous]

Do whatever works for you. I find it best to not try to get a girlfriend/boyfriend but to try for an individual. Not to just want someone but them. Body language is important. Don't be desperate... that is where far too many guys fail.

[kirindust]

I know how you feel - I've pretty much given up in my case as well.

[Asker]

for what it's worth, I like your avatar.

[wenthamlastnight]

oh and never take a girl's advice on how to get girl's its always BS so they don't seem shallow

[Asker]

oh, I've long since learned that. That's why I'm quitting. I've hit pretty much every frontier when it comes to dating advice and intellectually I know everything, but in practice I just suck apparently.

[wenthamlastnight]

my other option down there is still available

[JennyBenny318]

How about asking your guy friends to help you or try a dating site.

[wenthamlastnight]

ill be your girlfriend if you give me an xbox gold live code