Will playing hard to get backfire?

[Anonymous]

I've said something to my crushes friend, and I made him blush, and I always tried to get his attention by being super friendly. I have talked another one of my crushes friends but I didn't flirt I was friendly. My friend pushed me into my crush, and then afterwards all of them were staring at me, and when I walked by they all stared at me with an expressionless face. Do you think they caught on?

Updates

+1 y

Also when my friend mentioned my crushes name and how funny it was when she pushed me into him, my crushes friends wouldn't even look at me. Then after that my crush kept staring at me.

[EasyEC]

Yes! Playing hard-to-get can and most likely will backfire. Basically, everyone is selfish. You want a guy that will do/say/be a lot for you. The guy wants a girl to do/say/be a lot for him too. When you play hard-to-get, you suggest you're going to be none of those things.

Two things people dating tend to want:

A) to be loved - This is what you suggest you'll do for him when you smile, laugh, and make eye contact with him

B) increase their own social value (power) - This is what you convince him of when you have physical beauty or have a desireable personality (i.e. aggressive, somewhat independent, and unique), but not by being surrounded by a bunch of guys. This is the only time playing hard-to-get could have any benefit but if you play it, he'll catch on and just think you're untrustworthy.

[Anonymous]

Playing hard to get *can* backfire.

The trouble is that every guy is different. Some guys love the chase and the challenge of winning you. Other guys have very little patience for the chase.

So if you're playing hard to get with a guy who doesn't have the stomach for those kinds of games, it could backfire on you.

Take it step by step, and move slow. Test his responses a little bit. If he's an outgoing chaser, you can do more hard to get stuff if you like. But with a quiet, shy guy, you'll want to do very little or no hard to get behavior.