Can playing games backfire?

[Anonymous]

I have a female friend who has been acting very weird towards me for a long while now. It seems as though she's trying to seem too busy and aloof. If I call her, she takes weeks, even months, to respond. I never double call, I just wait it out and live my life forward. Long story short, last time I called her... she called me back nearly 2 months later and left a voice message as if it was normal. I ignored her and will not call back... no need.

I guess as weeks began to pass and I didn't panic, chase or sweat her, she decided to call. Left a voicemail that seemed like a person who thought I would chase. People only seem to leave explanatory messages when you're not going for the game and they then want to make it seem as if there was no playing games at all. Saying in the voicemail that she's been working a lot and busy. She tried to sound normal but I could tell she was nervous because she had to swallow her pride and call. She also said to call her back... twice. Nope. When you play the game sometimes it can backfire.

Has any of you ever played games and they backfired? And if they did, how did you feel?

[JeanetteIsStuck]

I'm sorry but she isn't into you. I'm guilty of doing that. It's not right and I regret stringing someone along instead of being upfront and letting the other person move on. I think it's time you just keep looking elsewhere. When you find someone interested, they will call or text back the minute they have a chance.

[Asker]

Why would a friend string you along? I thought we both were in it for friendship, neither of us seemed to want anything further. She began acting manipulative out of nowhere, making the situation feel like a bait and chase or string along interaction. I wasn't worried if she was into me, because I never made a move in that direction, and we've been friends for several years and everything was ok.

[CaliforniaMe]

I know I'm late, but I don't think she was playing games, I think she doesn't know you're interested, and I don't know how close of friends you actually are, but here's some examples

Interested girl case: You:Hey...5min later
Her:Heyy:)

Girl playing games: You:Hey...1day&1/2later
Her:heyy:)

Not Interested girl: You:Hey...1month later
Her:Hey, how have you been?

[CaliforniaMe]

The difference between a not interested girl, and one playing games is, the one playing games will only text when you feel that you are about to be done with her... which is usually within a day because everyone knows you can never be to busy when you like someone

[Asker]

@CaliforniaMe Points well taken. Whether she was not interested or playing games didn't matter to me all along because I thought we were in this to be friends. Wasn't until she started being manipulative that it dawned that this wasn't friendship, but she may have wanted more and was hanging in there maybe thinking things would change after awhile. But I knew how far I wanted things to go because I didn't have a good experience with the her first time around.

[Anonymous]

They will always backfire. I really don't understand why people choose to play these stupid games. Aren't you a bit old to be participating in them?

[Asker]

Not my real age but I get why you would think that... lol! Anyway, it's almost like she expected me to chase when she went aloof. And when I did not feed into it, she popped back up with excuses and if it was ok to call back after so much time. If she didn't want to speak with me anymore, I would've understood. But calling after 2 months I don't understand how you can expect someone to be that thirsty to hear from you at that point.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know, I've contacted someone after we had a tiff and I'm sure he thought I was playing mind games but I wasn't, he was just too young to understand where I was coming from. I contacted him just to be friends but he assumed it was more that I'm sure. I don't think anyone can really know unless you flat out ask what their intentions are.

[Asker]

I get it, but we didn't have a tiff. After a tiff, I understand that people may need sometime to reflect, but we never had any problem. She just became manipulative and I guess thought I would continue to put up with it. She knew exactly what she was doing... bait and chase. When I didn't chase, she would call. Can't blame her though, it's up to me to keep putting up with it. Just not gonna call back, basically saying game over... I'm not playing the game anymore.

[Anonymous]

They've always backfired 100% of the time someone did them with me. I will drop someone in a heartbeat if they are immature enough to do stupid crap like that.

[Asker]

Bro, I wish you could hear her voice message. Sounded like someone who knew they took the game playing to far. Without saying please, it almost sounded like she was begging for a call back. Funny thing is I don't want to be mean, but I'm not the one who decided to take things this route... she did. Calling her back just means I'm extending the game, so the hell with it. Sometimes you have to let people live with the fact that you got the final say... even if it is with silence.

[reptocarl]

I don't play games but yes they can backfire. What goes around comes around

[Asker]

When you're playing the game, no matter what people say, the person who gets the last say wins. She wanted to play, but I'll take the victory. Childish as well on my part, yep, but I didn't start it. She wanted me to worry about losing her and lose my mind and chase. Not respecting the fact that some men are weak and fall for that stuff and that you offend confident men with those tactics. Now let her live, if she cares, with the fact that her games led to the exact opposite.

[Maverickj]

Yes, playing games can (and will) backfire. Don't bother. Just be straightforward about what you want.

[Asker]

Yep... I guess she thought I would continue to allow myself to be played or strung along. That's the thing about games, the person playing them gets comfortable and takes the other for granted, almost believing that you are stupid. It stops once you've had enough and cut them off.