Why do I always attract the "ugly" ones?

Question

I'm not gonna make this some long drawn out story. Simply put a little about myself, I'm out going, fun, cheerful and an all around nice person. I keep good friends in my life, dress well, good job, good money, good car.

I am single, have been for sometime, and whenever I go out, I always, and I mean always attract the ugly girls. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not shallow by any means, but everyone has standards. I use the term "ugly" in multiple meanings, either ugly looks, or personality. The last time I went out, some giant 300 lbs girl who looked like shrek, was hitting on me. Another time, a decent looking girl, but absolutely crazy in the head. These are the women I am talking about, why do I always attract the neglected, the bullied, and the rejected? The 300 lbs cows and crazy girls? Why can't I just get a nice girl, with decent looks, and a good head on her shoulders? I don't think I'm asking for too much.

Updates

+1 y

Update-First impressions are everything, and how you look, or how attractive you are is 90% of your decision making. Ladies, if I had a slide show of 10 pictures, all men. A few ranging from model's with great bodies, to fat ugly guys, you would pick the model based on looks EVERY SINGLE TIME, so don't bitch at me for not wanting a fat ugly girl that smells bad. If you do it, so can I, and you can't say a damn thing about it.

Updates

+1 y

The girls I am talking about look like this

link

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You want honesty? Keep reading. If not, then just skip my answer.

1. I'm fat and I wouldn't consider you good looking enough for me on first impression. I'm used to better looking guys. You're not very attractive from your picture. Usually I wouldn't be as blunt, but you decided to come out here and call everyone else out, so I'm just giving you my opinion. You would never have to worry about me trying to hit on you because from what I can tell, there's nothing there that would attract me to that point.

How crazy people are, that's not something I can help you with.

Well, usually if you're ugly or overweight, you have been rejected or bullied at some point. You'll start to look for guys who look like they were rejected or bullied at some point as well, as in, not very attractive. that would be you. despite how you may feel, unless someone perceives weight to be a huge (haha) deal, then they will think you're "in their league" because you're not a pretty boy, or sexy or good looking basically. I don't really believe in leagues, so a better way to put it is that they think they have a better chance with you because you look like you don't get much attention in general from girls society deems to be more attractive. That's as blunt as I can put it.

I can kind of relate but on a totally different note. I get attention from guys and girls, but I've encountered the "i like you, but I don't want a fat girlfriend" feeling way too often. I also don't go out much or put myself out there, but when I do go out and when I do get attention from guys, the guys trying to talk to me are usually good looking though. Usually, not always.

And you can't sit here and ask why do you only get attention from the fat and ugly girls and in the same breath say you're not shallow. you are shallow to a certain extent because it doesn't sound like you're trying to get to know these girls, you just don't want them or even want to try to get to know them because theyre fat or ugly. that is shallow. it doesn't make you the most shallow man on earth, but you're in the club, make no mistake about it. I am too. so are many if not most people. most people aren't solely concerned with depth and personality and don't care at all about looks. the vast majority of people are not like that.

LuckyBrand · Accepted Answer

Don't listen to these women that are telling you that you are being a jerk. everybody has their personal preferences on who they want to date. I know for sure these girls that are calling you a jerk have their own too. I wouldn't want to date a guy that is over weight and doesn't care about his health or some guy that is an a**hole just because the world is putting him down. lol

But like what the other girl had said if you see a cute girl that is nice approach her don't let anxiety hold you back. Maybe she would be the one, maybe she wouldn't. The girl will pop up soem point. :)

pr3ttybr0wn · Accepted Answer

Those girls hit on guys they feel comfortable with. They have to hit on guys because no guys are hitting on them. People were kinda harsh to you, honestly you're average looking but physically out of their league. They think they have a shot with you because you're a nice person and probably the only kind of guy that's nice to them.  In order to get prettier girls, you're going to need to hit on them. Pretty girls don't go around hitting on guys that often so if you don't want the 300 lb. rejects then you should pursue the type you do like.

kholland65 · Accepted Answer

I know the feeling man. Same reason I gave up on dating sites.

Even though I'm an attractive guy (females tell me this, I work out, have a good career, have interesting hobbies, am outgoing, smart, love going out, have tons of friends, am caring, etc. etc. All I ever seem to get are the rejects. On dating sites, you would swear I had something about wanting a date that was 300lbs plus, because those are the only girls that ever messaged me.

And no, I have pretty low standards. Most of the girls I've dated, I will admit were somewhere between a 6-8 in looks.

GirlsTonguesHOT · Accepted Answer

Don't feel bad. From all of the sites I've been on, women seem to be hypocrits. In their minds, they can reject men for (insert reason here) because it's okay for them to standards but the Dear Lord forbid men have them.

Dude, I'm a 5'3 160 pound dude (muscular, fit looking) and my preference is for tall (6'4-6'6), long haired muscular women (don't care if that sounds shallow; chicks can have preferences and so can I). Never lower your standards for shit!

And women, when you date a fat, slobby shit-looking nigga, then you could bitch. Till then, stfu.

relationshipDNA · Answer

I don't know you, but I believe words are very powerful. The picture you've painted of yourself with the words you've chosen doesn't lead me to believe that you deserve a 'nice girl'. If this is the energy you're putting out there then I'm not surprised that you're having difficulty drawing a "better, more qualified" lot.

I would suggest that you take an inventory of yourself, the image you're projecting and shift it a little toward the more positive side and see if anything changes. I believe when you want different results, you should try something different.

Yeahhbro · Answer

You are not attractive enough for the good looking ones, enough said. As the saying goes your standards are too high! If you want to attract the very good looking ones you need to change your game and elevated to what they want, the truth is those women the most attractive women have the power to be more picky as they get more men hitting on them.

Anyhow if you really attract those women is probably because that is exactly the type of person you are. You always attract similar people to the person you are. If you want to have more quality women, you need to need to be a quality man. One thing that you should not do is be judgemental, personally I can learn a lot even from ugly women and most women like when a man isn't judgementalt, there is something about being judgmental that repels women, I mean it seems like you put ugly girls on a lower level and good looking ones on a pedestal.

NotSoBad · Answer

trust me, if an extremely attractive girl fell head over heals for you, its possible that you would question her sanity and then dump her anyway.

sadly to say I've dumped some very pretty girls because they got attached too quick.

that being said, you have to understand your demeanor around all women. pay attention to those "ugly" girls just be their friends and eventually the hot bitches will be begging you for attention. And when they do come and try steal you away from the ugly girl, you say "just a minute" and finish your convo with the "ugly" girl...

Hook, Line, Sinker... oh ain't she a beauty!?

Nicefuture · Answer

Dude, Ehm! Mr nice guy, no girl who is a 9/10 will look at you even once.

No muscles, No Magical nice smile, A little bit Bad teeth, Bad hair cut and you want a 10/10 or 9/10 lolz, I'll ignore the "an all around nice person" and " ugly looks, or personality" "some giant 300 lbs girl who looked like Shrek""Crazy" parts and not say anything.

By the way your brother is So Handsome.

kr2511 · Answer

Everyone gets hit on by people they aren't attracted to or interested in. Maybe you made them feel comfortable. That's a great quality to have. Don't sweat it, you'll find a cutie :)

rudy37lee · Answer

Are you letting the women do all the approaching?  You can't control who approaches you, but you can control who you approach.  Start going after some of the girls you think you'd rather be spending time with.  Be proactive, you can't just wait for her to fall into your lap.

BellaSami · Answer

idk why everyones freaking out on here every person has a type and has an attraction to a certain type some guys like tall blondes some guys like heavier woman some girls like a total juicehead with no brain and some girls love the nerd who plays video games for a living. You can't get upset if one guy isn't attracted to the type of girl you are.

kady4e · Answer

i have the same problem.

every time I go out, the only ones who seem to be attracted by me are the ones I usually avoid. either because they don't reach my standards of ''acceptable appearance'' or because they seem to be ''i just wanna get on your pants'' type.

BellaSami · Answer

lol I think you might be a tad dramatic on the link  but. attractive people are hard to find men or woman I don't know why but they just are I looked and looked and looked and it scared me half to death back to my hs sweetheart and I don't even want to try to look again.

Anonymous · Answer

You're right, looks are 90% of a first depression. Which is why I need to tell you that you are average at best, so you're getting the "uglies" first because of this reason. Sorry to be blunt, but you are someone I would be put off of if you approached me.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh wow, aren't you just sweet and charming... NOT. Here's a thought: instead of letting them know that you think they are cows or crazy, why not be nice to them at least. You don't have to flirt, but it would make them feel a little better.

Frunkiss · Answer

Those girls hit on everyone.  If you are a little more aggressive in meeting the girlies you will run into opportunities for decent ones more often.

A_20Chick · Answer

Aww well I don’t know what you think about me but I think your attractive if I didn’t have a man I would hit on you but I’m shut I fit under the cow description you gave

LexiNinja · Answer

Damn..and you wonder why? o.o You seem like a d***, lets make that clear.

shyguy89 · Answer

you have to look deep inside yourself for that bro. we all start out like so, until you knock enough down then you find one worth it all.

Frostie · Answer

I'm not having as much issues with the fat ones.. I seem to get the crazy ones more often then not :3. except maybe 2 times.. but the rest..haha.. yeah.. same story. I'm not to worried though xD.

Anonymous · Answer

The Women who are pursuing me do find me comfortable and that's the problem. They expect too much of me, try to get into every second of my day, and drain every last drop of positive energy from me with their neediness. I can't even be friendly anymore because they're like giant mosquitoes. It's frustrating being a mature adult man stuck around so many immature women.

MonaAmour · Answer

You're too approachable maybe? Be aloof or dismissive just a little, and you might attract a more attractive woman.

AestheticsFtw · Answer

really hot girls think they are everything and will wait for a guy who is rich, since that is what rich guys are looking for, or you have to look like a model/ have a great body since that will bring attention

Anonymous · Answer

Easy. All the hot ones hooking up with the Navy guys. HOORAY. ha ha salute you bro

Why do I always attract the "ugly" ones?

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