Why are intelligent people attractive?

[dustyfootphilosopher]

Something I've been thinking to myself lately.

Where does the attraction come from? - and are there certain aspects of intelligence that are more attractive than others?

Are people who you recognize to be more intelligent than yourself more attractive of less? - is there a limit of diminishing return?

what expressions of intelligence are most attractive and to what sexes? wit, humor, knowledge, wisdom, intuition, charm, charisma etc . . .

oh I don't know . . .

I await your comments :)

[Moloch]

I don't think intelligence is as attractive as others make it seem. When you're intelligent, you have a much tougher time relating to other people because your interests are so off-beat and esoteric. I think being intelligent actually makes finding a mate a lot tougher, because intelligent people tend to be attracted to other intelligent people (for relationships that is) and they are pretty rare to find. In a classroom of about 30 people, you might only have one intelligent person. The other issue is that when you grow up and you're constantly surrounded by people lower than you on the intelligence scale, you tend to withdraw because you don't have much in common with average minds.

I love women that are intelligent, when I meet a woman that is well-read and knows what she's talking about, my heart just blows up - Grinch style. That kind of feeling is something that I normally don't feel for most women, because the 'flare' just isn't there, I don't feel the connection.

Intelligence is one thing, imagine having to find someone you're genuinely attracted to physically, and you have yourself one tough situation because now you're looking for a double whammy minority figure. You're not only looking for an intelligent person who happens to be a minority, you're looking for a person within that minority that you find attractive. The odds of that are quite slim if I do say so myself. I'd say that being intelligent is a double-edged sword: on the one hand, you can grasp concepts and theoretical constructs with much greater ease, but on the other hand, most people that don't have the knack for abstract conceptualizing like you do, have a much harder time relating to you.

[gristformill]

I'm not sure intelligence is universally attractive. I find intelligent women attractive for the same reasons others have stated. I like the stimulating dialogue.

I belonged to Mensa for a while. While everyone there scored 98 percentile or above, I didn't find the group as a whole very interesting. One can have high intelligence (not really measurable) and yet have emotional and personal characteristics that don't take advantage of that extra brain power.

Ideally "intelligence" is a function of whether you can solve the problems life throws at you, not what tests measure. That includes emotional maturity, high self-esteem, etc. It comes as a package as far as attraction (for me) and as far a just living.

I also like meaningful dialogue. One doesn't need to be greatly intelligent for that. Maturity, introspection, open mindedness, and thoughtfulness are key ingredients to a meaningful interaction. I find that even more attractive.

I've never found people who were more intelligent than me threatening or less attractive. If they were obnoxious about it or insecure and needed to flaunt what they knew, well, then, they weren't attractive.

[LJHam]

All a person has to do is open their mouth and say something for their intelligence (or the lack thereof) to shine through.

For me personally, I immediately get turned off by a walking box of rocks. I need someone within my intelligence range to challenge me. If there's no challenge then I'm bored and uninterested.

Now intelligence doesn't automatically guarantee attraction though. If a guy has a huge ego to go with his smarts then I'm walking in the opposite direction from him too. A man who knows he's smart but doesn't have to prove it to everyone is sexy as hell. Also, a smart man will know that he doesn't know everything and will be open to listen to the wisdom of others as well - again, sexy.

And to top it off with being able to make me laugh with some smart wit, you've got me hooked. Spouting off theoretical stuff constantly will again bore me. A guy has got to be down to earth enough to have a good time & laugh.

[dustyfootphilosopher]

"Spouting off theoretical stuff" - that's interesting, what do you mean by that?

[LJHam]

I'm imagining literary types who talk constantly about what this or that author wrote. Or your super science geeks who talk physics nonstop (thinking of Sheldon types from Big Bang Theory). Granted these kinds of guys are few and far between. I haven't gotten to know any personally thankfully. But considering how characters of that nature show up in TV & movies I figure they must exist.

[gummybear888]

I am attracted to intelligent men. of course there is differing 'types' of intelligence.

likewise my fiance admitted he's attracted to intelligent women.

both him and myself have graduated University but continue to expand our educational careers.

why am I attracted to intelligent men?

It may be because they can communicate on my level or understand some jokes I make.

Some guys may not get the humor I have and his mom has told me I'm 'wise'. I enjoy reading philosophy books as a child and even now, but my major was in a different area.

very nice question btw.

[ketfoen]

Okay, Socratas if you say so, oops sorry Gummy bear :P

[Anonymous]

Intelligence alone is not enough to be attractive. Intelligence with no ego but with a sense of good humour, decency, compassion etc is attractive. A guy with intelligence must also be able to hold a decent conversation, be able to challenge me and not let me get away with nonsense - ie. a wimpy intelligent guy is a big turn-off !

[dustyfootphilosopher]

"wimpy intelligent guy is a big turn-off" - ha ha I like that

[Anonymous]

I find intelligence attractive for the simple reason it allows me to have an actual conversation with somebody. Many times when I walk into a class room, or a room in general, I have nobody to really "talk" with. What I mean is I have to dumb down my conversation to either certain topics, or basic concepts within most topics as not to lose the other side. When you come across somebody who is intelligent and well versed, I feel like there can be dialogue.

I have nothing against explaining things to people, but that isn't a conversation. That isn't dialogue. That isn't really stimulating. So when I can converse with somebody, that's exciting and enjoyable, thus attractive.

As for somebody who is more intelligent than myself, it's a rare occurrence and they have all been guys. I'm hoping that later on as I get a degree and work in a field where such people gravitate towards, I might meet more of these people, but for now my past slacker ways have limited the amount of very intelligent people I have gotten to meet.

[Snow123]

Very well said.

[Opinion Owner]

Well thank you

[Moloch]

It's funny that you also know what it feels like to "dumb down" when you talk to other people. That made me go back to one of my old journals when I was young and I wrote about this, these are a few other names I made up for it. "Peasant Conversation Hypothesis" "Ignorant Conversation Theory" "Dumbing-Down Theory" "Conversation Knowledge Equalizers"

LOL

[sikoo31]

Well, with girls, I love it when they're witty, I love it when they're wise, and I love it when they're knowledgeable.

I don't really care if she's good at math or not cause if she's not, its cute, and I get to teach it to her, and if she is, then its cool cause that's something most people suck at.

I like that you included charm and charisma as an expression of intelligence cause most people don't realize that it takes a certain type of intelligence to be charming and charismatic.

I have a Q for you(and any who'd like to answer):

Would you consider responsibility an intelligence?

[dustyfootphilosopher]

hmm that's an obscure one.

I would say no, primarily because one doesn't result from the other.

For example -

I think charm and charisma are forms of 'social' intelligence (if one were to bother making distinctions) because I have never met a person that was charming/charismatic that I didn't consider intelligent to some degree.

In contrast, there are many with a strong sense of responsibility (to a political party, club, ect) that I don't consider, by consequence, intelligent.

Make sense?

[sikoo31]

That does make sense. But have you noticed the girls that get the best grades are always very responsible?

[MaxNoodles]

There have been a lot of studies done on attraction. One study showed that people find "partners" that are within one point in either direction on one to 10 scale of attraction. (replicated by national geographic) Another study from Psychology Today online showed that people who were rated as more attractive also had a slightly higher than average intelligence quotient. (just above 100)

I would hypothesize that a person will naturally be attracted to someone similarly intelligent and physically attractive. You can treat it like a scatter plot: a 115 IQ/10 will probably not end up with a 130 IQ/8. 130 will probably think 115 is kind of ditsy and 10 will probably think 8's smile is a little crooked. Diminishing returns is a natural characteristic of bell curves that can help explain outliers. At some point the questions "how intelligent" and "how attractive" aren't going to matter.

[voit3]

It's attractive to me because I don't want stupid kids. I'm more attracted to active intelligence, such as aggressively pursuing the truth, respecting the truth even objectively, and the willingness and capacity to put the knowledge to effect. I don't run into a lot of people decidedly more intelligent than myself in real life, and if I do I see them as equals. With that said, guys can't help but see dumb girls as attractive if they are physically attractive. It's biology.

[ketfoen]

If that were true, then many girls and women would have a poster of Stephan Hawking's poster on their walls.

I'm not intelligent just act like it, that's why I'm considering to become an actor, because they radiate intelligence.

[dustyfootphilosopher]

the fact that most girls don't have a Hawking poster on there walls is exactly why I differentiate between different types of intelligence.

Hawking, while incredibly knowledgeable, has trouble in ways of communication (a problem he's not really responsible for, I'll admit)

But in contrast, this is not an problem shared by guys like Brian Cox or Neil Tyson or the late Segan, even - highly knowledgeable AND charismatic people - resulting with their face (one would think) on more girls walls :)

[Anonymous]

I think I like a person I can connect with. I found that there are many form of intelligent. I met many smart computer science and geo type of guy and unfortunately I don't connect with them even when they are super intelligent.

The best thing a guy can is a good heart, easy to talk to (about anything), and a good honest man. It can be very hard to find one that has all three of the quality because someone could be honest but not easy to talk to.

[Anonymous]

Its really simple, conversation. Someone you can talk to about anything. When a person you fined can be very intelligent you see that inner beauty that connects you in a deeper way then looks can. A mind that is capable of having intelligence is very sexy.

[Tripz]

RANDOM FACTOID

Being attracted to someone for intelligence and it's use is referred to as Sapiosexual

The more you know

*Glittery rainbow*

[dustyfootphilosopher]

haha thanks for the tidpit

[kambo_trick3y]

Cause we're not sheep who are oblivious to our surroundings.

Also, there is never any diminishing return on intelligence. The very idea of intelligence means adaption, the ability to mentally climb over life's obstacles faster then other people. Whether it's wit, or pre-acquired knowledge of a situation, intelligent people are just better suited to observe and adapt to any situation that they come across.

We're sexy as HELL.

[dustyfootphilosopher]

I'm much less interested in why you (or you all) think your intelligence is attractive and much more about what about it makes it attractive in other people.

[kambo_trick3y]

"Also, there is never any diminishing return on intelligence. The very idea of intelligence means adaption, the ability to mentally climb over life's obstacles faster then other people. Whether it's wit, or pre-acquired knowledge of a situation, intelligent people are just better suited to observe and adapt to any situation that they come across. "

I'll include that, along with you have a wider variety of subjects to talk about. Whether it's from garnered observation, or prior knowledge.

[Anonymous]

yes it is just your point of view
im an 8/10 looking guy
i test iq and mine is 160
and English is one of my 5 languages
i can draw and i can play basketball
yet all girls are intimidated and shy around me, i never had a girlfriend
and guys are jealous of me all the time it is hard to find good friends

[Prof_Don]

Intelligence is what makes a person interesting and deep, aka "not shallow".

This isn't the whole equation of attraction, but intelligent people who are socially charming have an advantage.

[nightangel]

Oddly enough they did a study and found that more intellegent women have larger breasts, but that's not what you mean. I rather have an intellegent guy so I can have a conversation that has substance rather than how drunk he got on the weekend.

[sikoo31]

A, we smart people like to get drunk on the weekends too!

That's interesting about the breast haha, I'd have thought it could be the other way around.

[LJHam]

Larger breasts? Where the heck did they get that? I'm smarter than your average bear but I wasn't greatly endowed in the chest.

[nightangel]

You might be the exception, I know I'm in the top one percentile in terms of iq and have dd's

[Anonymous]

Because in nature, stupid things don't live as long and that's bad for the species.

[anonymousbastard]

I'm not intelligent so I must be ugly.

[yopyopyop]

I wish it was true.

[dustyfootphilosopher]

why don't you?

[yopyopyop]

Without wanting to sound immodest, I just have a look at my "success" rate. I am an average looking guy (not ugly but not "hot"), with a good brain, a flock of degrees, and that never seemed to attract women.