I’m the type of girl who actually likes deep and intelligent conversations. I’d so rather talk about the current economic trends then for example the latest celebrity scandal or the current fashion trends. I actually care about my grades and school. I’m not one of those know it alls but I do value intelligence. Like I’m the person who everyone else asks for homework help. I don’t know though do guys like those naive girls and think they’re more fun? Personally I think I do a pretty good job at being able to be studious yet also get down and party.
geee, I did not write in here for a while and I feel I lost my touch.
Yes and no for a couple of reasons. Intelligence should not be mistaken for attractiveness, but as one of the components making someone attractive, along with physique, how someone treats others, the overall energy and vibe of that person (for me at least), so on. It's a complex discussion about how intelligence can make the difference and how the circumstances of meeting that person also add up.
Point 1. intelligence adds up to the attractiveness, but unfortunately that alone, does not make one attractive to begin with. Humans see how others look first and the initial assessment is done based on looks.
There needs to be something physical in order for me to be initially attracted to someone. Only based on those standards being met unconsciously, I will allow for the next part to take place, where I assess the intelligence of someone (along with other aspects) and decide "ha, I like being around her". So for example, if you were to take two girls which physically don't fall far apart in my standards and which share ALL the other traits I find important, with one being intelligent, while the other is a dumb bimbo, then clearly intelligence would make the first one more attractive to me.
Point 2 in my quick analysis would be, what kind of intelligence does she have and what is she using it for? For example, there's this girl that is such an expert at getting what she needs and having things done HER way, by being manipulative in the workplace. Not even sure she's intelligent, but manipulative people usually are.
Point 3. having lots of knowledge is one thing, but also depends how that knowledge is perceive by others through your actions. Somewhat linked a bit to point 2. You mention deep intelligent conversation as in, everyone gets to express their opinion on different things along with experiences in different matters of life and go on and on for hours without getting bored or feeling any kind of pressure to talk or be silent OR finding a reason to oppose anything the other says just because you believe you have the higher intelligence and are more informed and looking to prove your point of view is better (?). If it's a girl that falls in my standards looks-wise and I discuss with her as on first part of point 3, then yes, that's a plus. If it's a girl that falls in my standards looks-wise and she acts as in second part of point 3, then no thanks.
Some examples: Good - There was this one girl that I was talking seamlessly for hours and we wouldn't get bored. I never remember saying "you're not right", we would just accept we have different opinion and views on life and enjoyed the time and how strangely great we were getting along, even in sexual stuff and what we liked.
Bad - On the other hand I knew one girl, clearly intelligent, but she would turn anything into a "debate". Yo, get over yourself, I find this movie better than that movie and that's that, I don't need to dissect every little aspect of the movie and compare. I'm not here to turn nothing into a non-stop energy draining debate. I'm not a politician to prove my point is the right one, I just accept you like your milk first and then adding the cereal in the bowl and I don't feel the need to talk about this back and forth for 1 hour, with pros and cons and scientific research as proof, types of milk and types of cereal.
Also, there's an idiot I know, that in reply to ANYTHING you say, he starts every sentence with "that's not true", "that's false", "that's wrong" "that's not correct" and then says his opinion. Guess what... nobody likes him!
So yes, intelligent enough to be knowledgeable in plenty of aspects of life and with plenty of experience, so we can improve each other without feeling the need to shove opinions down each other's throat, then yes it adds up to your attractiveness.
@Somethingwittty and @ramifb11 thank you! If I'm answering, i'm trying to provide the best view in order to help that person. Downside is some might not read it, for it's too long.
Being intelligent myself I was always into intelligent girls more than looks , all of my previous crushes were based on how I like to talk with them. But mostly I have seen intelligent girls tend to go to hot guys more than intelligent guys. Most women see intelligent guys as just settling material or friends type not want to date them. Previously I had a rule of only intelligent girl but they never treated me good somehow not so intelligent girls like me. I have avoided them in the past but I don’t put any restriction now. Intelligent girls can easily get a date but intelligent guys if they don’t look super hot it’s hard for them in young ages. And like you girls only come to me when they want help in studies. I have talents in both introvert and extrovert fields like writing (poems , stories ) , cooking , playing music , making science stuffs and I know many historical stories as well as I love skating , cycling and rafting , but I never found someone who will like someone like me.
Everyone here will say yes but in reality intelligent girls have it hard when it comes to dating. In the end, it's all about looks and how approachable a girl is. Guys who approach like to be in control of the conversation, so a cute girl who doesn't really have a lot to say seem easy to them. Guys like to seem more intelligent. They are intimidated by girls who can flip a conversation, I think it's fear of making fool of themselves if they don't know how to answer something she asks. So if you go on a date with a guy and start talking about economic trends, he might feel dumb that he's not up to date with it, thus making him feel like an idiot. Or he might know about economic trends but not hold the same opinion about it as you, thus going into that deep stuff and contradicting you takes off his mind of his "game" to flirt with you. It might feel like an interrogation or a political debate rather then a date. It's a turn off (for him). Only few guys are actually into intelligent flirting, it's mostly geeks who are also very shy or simply not interested in going on dates because they assume the girl won't know what he's talking about. It's double standards, girls are still "allowed" to be stupid and uneducated, it's still totally fine to say "I have no idea what you're talking about" or "I'm not into that, can we talk about new Joker movie instead?" and shrug it off with a smile, while for a guy to say something like that, exposing his uneducation is not allowed. I think guys takes it much harder feeling stupid on a date then girls do.
I'm not dating stupid girls, that's for sure. They're not for me.
Only weak boys, who probably play Minecraft feel "emasculated" (whatever that means) when they meet a woman, who excels at something. Do they even have balls or are they unripe?
Gotta say that I disagree. I would prefer to date someone with a college degree whom I can have deep conversations with and not be solely responsible to lead all the time. I can see how some guys fit your description but for men looking for a long term relationship intelligence is preferred
Well there are different kinds of intellect. There is the academic kind, the emotional kind, and the artistic kind. I think academic intelligence is a nice trait to have but those who are more logical seem less empathetic. Emotional intelligence is a good trait because those who are emotionally intelligent can understand others and are empathetic. I think that knowing how to treat people is something we don't see often in this world. Artistically intelligent is interesting because they can see the world in a different light than what is said. They don't see things in black or white and nothing seems definite. A person can be all 3 of these but I think if a girl has none of these 3 kinds of intellect, they probably aren't going to keep anyone attracted to them past a pretty face
You're absolutely a great match for me lol. I agree that there are different types of intellect. I myself am more artistic and tend to hear conversations towards art, music and nature. A woman with a well rounded intellect is good for any intellectual man. Conversations are limitless.
That's a great, concise way of breaking it down. If I had to pick 2 out of 3 in a girl it would be emotional and artistic intelligence. Academic intelligence is valued more in an employee or a business partner than a romantic partner. Assuming she's at least not cripplingly low IQ of course. But I'd rather she be caring and creative and intuitive and have big ideas about love and life... rather than a PhD in molecular biology.
I don't think it is the sole determiner of whether or not someone will go out with you. It is your personality that determines if someone will have a crush on you. Being smart will help assist attraction but its not the biggest factor. And you really don't need to be academic or nerdy in order to show that you're intelligent either. It all boils down to personal preference too. Some guys don't want to be on a date with a girl talking about books, or the economy, or whatever writer wrote unless he is also an academic himself.
I really should of worded the question different. What I actually meant was can it be a nice complement to a persons attractiveness or add on to it. I didn’t mean is it the sole determinant.
Smart, ok, but Intelligent ladies (you know the difference, if you are) are just the BEST!! Wearing glasses, then just touching the edge of 'perfection' for me. 20, a little young, but when I was your age, I always loved the really intelligent ladies, maybe with glasses, and we had amazing conversations, about things so far beyond school, and things like that! Sadly, I knew a lot of guys, when I was younger, that pretended to like smart/intelligent ladies, and it was really just to get help, and passing grades so they didn't get 'benched' for not making the minimum grades required! Be careful!
Guys seem to like girls who are everything. I'm a secret intellectual; I don't hide my intelligence, but I'm not outspoken about it. I'll be open about things like grades and higher level classes, etc if people ask, but I don't go out of my way to mention it or even input mine in conversation unless asked directly. People see my fun side first, the side of me that parties and is spontaneous and chill and just talks about whatever conversation topic comes up (which has never actually been the current economic trends...). Then they discover that I'm smart, too, and that's like an added bonus. People like well-rounded people, being all one or the other gets tiresome to deal with from both ends.
I find intelligent girls a turn on. Not geeky ones commenting on every single thing you say if they find it incorrect, but yes, I love deep convos, and couldn't care less if the girl is smarter than me, contrary to other people. Of course, we can talk about the financial crisis, but we gotta talk about our bed as well, so get your topics sorted and ready lady 😄
Physically attractive? No. A girls personality doesn't change if a guy would tap her or not. This is where men and women are fundamentally different as several studies have shown that especially social status does indeed make a difference on how physically attractive a man is seen.
Romantically attractive? To a certain extent. Intelligence is overrated to a certain extent for a functioning relationship. While you can't date someone being as dumb as they come and have a happy relationship with them as an intelligent person, a bit of a gap isn't an issue as long as the "less intelligent" partner can keep up by understanding when the more intelligent one expresses something. Other factors are more important such as compatibility, complementing, similar life priorities, actual affection and desire to make your partner happy, etc.
Sometimes a guy just needs to hang with a fun, air-headed girl who gets him out of his head and makes him be uninhibited.
But the girls I connect most deeply with are the ones I can have those deep/ intelligent/ thoughtful conversations with.
I mean, I don't really wanna talk about law and finances and mathematics, coz those subjects are pretty boring to me. But I wanna know does she have a curious mind? Does she look at something happening, and ask of its nature? Does she have deeper thoughts about life beyond "find a man to lock down and squeeze out a few kids"?
If she can stimulate me mentally as well as emotionally and physically/ sexually, then I'll bond with her very closely.
"rather talk about the current economic trends" yeah occasionally, but if you are going to take up all the air time with that as a substitute to natural mental flow for a substitute to getting down to business then you will be a bore in the end. Female or male can talk themselves right out of a date if that is to what you were referring by bringing in ancillary unrelated items of discussion that are loaded with triggers. So, let’s say that we are out talking and I am feeling relaxed and then you talk about the market doing bad, then I get sick in the stomach and that is all I think about all night and my dick goes limp. Good luck with talking a guy to death. An intelligent woman knows when to apply it. Actually it is better if nobody says anything.
They do like smart girls. You might just have to be the one to start a conversation. He might think he's not smart enough to go out with you. Say hello and comment about something you think he's into or you could ask what he like to do. You know show a little intrest in his likes. Good luck
Absolutely, and I think you'll find it gets even better as you become a few years older. Eventually we guys mature too, and it's more fun and a source of long lasting excitement to have someone to engage in deep conversation about every topic that comes to mind.
Humans are intelligent. Anyway personally I find girls attractive when they are able to talk about things I love. If I don't care about economic trends then it isn't gonna make you more or less attractive. But yeah i don't want to talk about scandals either. I love when a girl is different than her peers. Typical that is the girl who is nice to everyone, has something she's passionate about other then some reality show or make up. No offense to make up people. I like a girl who can tell me about her emotions and struggles and be real with me and actually be present with me and not on her phone. Someone who is romantic and will scream in public if I dare her. Sadly nice girls are usually not free and free girls are usually not nice.
not sure, haven't met one yet, sure average or bit better but nobody that really stood out to me, but honestly not around many women other than typical mothers, relatives. (Not trying to insult women). I'm a Software Engineer so I write code for a living and have met a few female coders, every one I met was well below sub par, that's best way for me judge someones IQ. It's too scary nowadays to even try to talk to women about politics or anything other than work to make a guess. Most of the women I know don't seem to know anything. Politics, Economics, Science, Money, they seem preoccupied with social media, clothes, music, and their social group.
I do know that the average woman is a bit smarter than the average man, but there almost no women in the 145+ IQ range. Men have more idiots, and more geniuses.
I like girls who make good decisions and can succeed in an area or craft.
But as far as interest in philosophy or politics that's a huge fucking no.
Women NEVER involve themselves in these kinds of topics if it doesn't impact them in some way. It's why most female philosophers are known for something like feminist theory and women's involvement in politics is so heavily associated with corruption. They are simply to biased and dont have the right temperament (most men don't either). I'd only make exceptions for intelligent women who are shitins with no personal involvement in those afairs.
I think inteligent girls are way better than "naive" girls. It is important to have intellegent conversations and, while sex is fun lol, actually enjoy talking the person. Although, I know a little about economics, like Veblum economics, Nash equilibrium, etc, that isn't really where I am the most knowledgable.
The way you described yourself sounds great. Guys eventually get tired of bubble heads and bimbos. A woman like you is interesting, provocative, challenging, stimulating. As long as you also have a good sense of humor, like to have fun, and enjoy sex, you're worth your weight in gold.
I enjoy, and find attractive, intellligent females, and any meaningful conversation is far more preferable than the vapid discussions of pop culture. I don't watch television, or keep up with current (or past) media. I enjoy the challenge that comes with an erudite mind.
Well, not the topic of a discussion makes someone intelligent, but the common sense in conclusion and the manner the person reacts to differences in opinions. A really smart girl can talk with her guy about shoes and nail lack colors without appearing less intelligent or superficial.
I believe them to be the most attractive, because intelligent women are commonly introspective, resolute, determined, particular, well-read, more understanding and conscientious, as well as, in all likelihood, definitively passionate. If a smart woman finds you attractive as well, than you ought to feel luckier than most. Give me a librarian with 'four eyes' anyday.
This just screamed 'I'm not like the other girls' saying. Just because they like celebrities and fashion doesn't make them stupid. Unless you know them all personally, maybe try not to make such blanket statements? One can sound smart and intelligent and really just be repeating things they've memorized or big words that *sound* right.
Generally, I would say yes. I like being able to have meaningful conversations about things that I care about rather than just talking about the weather or gossiping about people. That said, it can be a turn off if someone is just interested in flexing how smart they are in an effort to impress or even outdo everyone around them. Intelligence is good as long as it's not accompanied by arrogance.
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