Girls: Is the boyfriend excuse considered rejection IF you have one?

[Anonymous]

Say a guy asks you out, BUT you have a boyfriend AND you say you do.

Would you consider that rejecting him? or no? Here's 2 scenarios I see...

if you liked him you'd not mention the boyfriend and go out with him (Not rejection)

OR

You'd be loyal to your boyfriend and says you have a boyfriend because you don't like him. (Rejection)

So what do ya'll think? Is getting the boyfriend excuse from a girl with a boyfriend considered rejection at all?

Any guys insights too? And I'm talking high school dating FYI

Yes

No

Other (post what)

[tomfeltonforever]

I'm not going to go out with any other guy if I have a boyfriend unless my boyfriend was a total jerk and I was planning to break up with him THE next day. It doesn't mean she'll never be interested in you if they break up; however, some girls will say this excuse to some guys they know are misogynistic. Those guys are the guys that require an excuse from a girl as to why she doesn't like them after he has been allegedly nice to her and would respect the wishes of another man (her boyfriend) rather than her wishes... Because he feels like he's owed some kind of an explanation. I've had guys ask me to dance, I've said no, and then they pester me for a little while... I'm not going to say, "You're ugly!" or "You don't sound intelligent at all!" So I usually would just blurt out, "I'm seeing somebody!" It can be a less hurtful way to tell someone to back off even if the girl doesn't have a boyfriend. Most girls (I hope) don't cheat on their boyfriends, so if they say they have one, they're either lying about having one because they don't want to insult you OR they think you're some kind of misogynist or they want to be faithful.

[Asker]

I understand those pushy guys that NEED a rejection excuse. However I haven't pressured this girl at all.

Does this mean I'm being lightly brushed off because she doesn't wanna cheat on her bf?

or am I just not as interesting as her boyfriend and that's why she stated she had one?

keep in mind when I asked her to hang out she said "I'm sorry, but tomorrow when the guy I've been talking to comes home we're gonna be official tomorrow"

and yes she was telling the truth, a mutual friend confirmed it

[tomfeltonforever]

Even if you were ten times hotter, smarter, and funnier than her boyfriend, she's telling you this to stay loyal to him. She's giving up someone who's technically better because she likes/respects this person she is dating. If they break up, I think it would be a great idea to date her because she sounds like someone loyal.

[Asker]

I agree, she does sound loyal. Thanks :)

[cazza3]

I am long gone from the high school age but my two cents would be no its not rejection. Rejection to me involves actual consideration. That in order to reject someone you have to first consider the possibility. If a girl is rejecting a guy because she has a boyfriend the odds are she isn't even considering the possibility of someone else. If that makes sense?

[Asker]

I see, and yes that does make sense. Thanks for your input

[Prettygurl12]

If I have a boyfriend and a guy asks me out, I will tell him that I have a boyfriend and deny him.

If I don't have a boyfriend and a guy who I'm not interested in asks me out, I won't say I have a boyfriend, but I will tell him that I am not interested.

The "I have a boyfriend" line is always rejection. Especially if she really does have a boyfriend.

[Asker]

That's great then. Too many girls FAKE having a boyfriend, so it makes the guy wonder "Well if she was single, would I have a chance?"

thanks for being honest to guys, keep it up!

[PurplePeaches]

Technically it is rejection BUT not in a bad way. She is committed to someone so she must reject all advances toward her unless she wants to hurt her boyfriend's feelings (which isn't a responsible thing to do). If this is something that happened to you, don't feel rejected. She is being a faithful girlfriend and not treating another man badly by cheating on him.