I really like this guy but he is an conservative christian, what to do?

[Anonymous]

Now, let me begin by saying that I have nothing against Christians. I am one myself, I am just not conservative. I met this guy on campus and we hit if off well because he wasn't like most guys I had met. He was very respectful, able to carry on a good conversation, and his flirting was sweet instead of overly sexual. It was really a breathe of fresh air for me. Well, as we have gotten to know each other better I now know why his behavior is such. He is a very conservative christian. He takes the Bible and dating very seriously. He doesn't do casual hook ups and wants a girl that has a similar mindset (which I feel same so we get along well as far as flirting goes). I love that part ( he isn't trying to get me into bed right away as so many other guys try), only thing is he is also very much against gays and feels that they are an abomination. I have a lot of gay friends and family members so I feel strongly about gay rights. I feel part of the reason he is so close minded is that he hasn't been exposed as much as I have, but should I really risk waiting to see if he will come through. If it wasn't for this small tidbit of info he told me, I would say he really was my dream guy.

Updates

+1 y

So I have talked to him to a greater extent. The topic actually came up by itself just discussing current events. He holds very strong convictions about God and his plan for his own life but at the same time he not saying that others are going to burn in Hell. He seems to have taken the stance that he will agree to disagree with others who do not share the same the beliefs and he does have friends that believe differently than he does. That is kinda a relief and I'll continue to see how it goes.

[honeyltsme]

Unfortunately the gay thing is being made black and white by politicians because it is in their interest to divide the electorate in half and distract them from other issues (like how their tax dollars being funneled to campaign contributors).

The reality is, gay people are people and there are both respectable and repulsive gay people just like there are respectable and repulsive straight people. I find it pretty repulsive when one overtly displays their sexuality (whatever its orientation) in the workplace in their clients' or coworkers' faces or hooks up with strangers in public bathrooms (gay OR straight). I think when the society as a whole acknowledges that and begins to react to it accordingly we will achieve the next important step in equality.

You may want to ask him about women's rights as well as his ability to reconcile religious teachings with modern science. IIf Vatican is able to do it, I feel so should every person of faith in the 21st century. It is one thing to recognize the value of the Bible and quite another to interpret it in a way so rigid and literal that it is counter-productive.

[Dionysos]

Sounds like you're fairly well matched, but make sure you understand what limitations his religion will put on you two and any kids you have. The world is not a friendly place for fundamentalists these days, so be prepared for him to be frustrated as hell.

Is he really a Christian in terms of "what would JC do? If so, he's probably a decent guy.

If on the other hand he's a fundie with a fetish for telling other folks how to live their lives based on some crazy idea of what God wants... run away.

Don't think that the only place you can find traditional family values is to bundle them with a glorified cult membership. They still exist.

[RedSmartie]

I am a conservative Christian (though I am okay with gay rights, because I stay the hell out of other peoples' business) and I once went out with an atheist liberal. We did eventually break up, but politics didn't play a part in that. I learned that if you want to be with someone who has very different views than you, you need to accept the fact that you will never change them and just not talk about it. If you get preachy then tensions will run high, but if you leave it alone and accept each other for who you are outside of your views then it can go quite well. But you shouldn't go into the relationship assuming you will change each other, because it probably won't work. Peoples' opinions can change, but the usually do so on their own.

[caligirl3]

i don't think this will turn out great if you decide to be more then friends. Cause this is one of those matter that people feels extremely strong about and most likely they won't change their views. I'm also a LGBT supporter and I think god loves you no matter what and some think god hates gays. My advice is leave it alone and just be friends.

[rakayln]

I'm a conservative Christian and wouldn't date someone who didn't believe the same as me

[rek101]

The bigger question is why he chooses to be conservative. If you ask him how he ended up there...the values that underlie his decisions, you might know much more about him than you'll ever learn assuming a label like conservative actually means something.

[Steelcore1085]

If the Conservative part is seriously what's bothering you, then if you date him, somewhere along the lines politics will be discussed between you. It happens!

If you don't want that, then don't go after him.

I would PERSONALLY rather date a Conservative or moderate Republican (also Christian) girl because politics and religion DO play a huge role in personality and thoughts and most everything else. I would rather get along with her than fight all the time.

[Anonymous]

Have you told him how you feel about it? If you haven't, you should. Like you said, part of the problem is that he hasn't been exposed too much to them. If he at least eases up, that's great. If he doesn't, you should really stop and think to see if you can look past it or not.

[Anonymous]

I don't see what the problem is. Personally I would leave the gay conversations until later on. No need to get into a disagreement about something so dumb early on. I think if he wants to be with you then he's going to need to learn to get along with your gay friends family. Everyone has a right to their opinion but they also need to learn to agree to disagree.

[sisterray]

Even though liberal atheists put out more than conservative christians, not all conservative christians are prude.

[Anonymous]

This is your personal choice, nobody can really tell you. He would probably make a faithful husband. I say YES wait for it.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say he is close minded.

[Opinion Owner]

See looks like things might go well he is not a lose minded as you thought most Christians are not.

[Asker]

In my personal experience dealing with devout Christians, the mentality as been, "You will burn in hell. I feel sorry for your soul." This was especially true when dealing with those you had differing views. But I sincerely think he is more respectful of other opinions. I know Christians like this exist, I just haven't met many :( I wish I met more.