Should I (non-religious) try out a relationship with a Christian guy?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy and he's super handsome and sweet, and we get along well and like each other. But I'm holding back on starting a proper relationship because i don't know how well it will work. I;m kind of worried about conflicting values, but i don't know how to approach asking him about it without making him feel interrogated, lol.

For example, i wouldn't say I'm strictly atheist, i am open to there being something more to life, and after death, but i don't believe in god as some man or person or whatever, or sins, or heaven and hell. I'm really passionate about abortion rights, and i'd feel uncomfortable if my partner was super pro-life. I also don't want to wait until marriage, and i'm quite anti-purity culture. There's other stuff, that I know being religious doesn't necessarily mean he'd believe or not believe in, and i don't want to be judgmental or write him off before i know what our beliefs are like together, but I'm not sure how to bring it up. I've had lots of Christian friends before, and they were always great people, but we were really different.

I know lots of religious and non-religious people must have gotten together before, but I'm conflicted about what to do. Any well-meaning advice?

[slatyb]

I'm also secular and I would not date a religious believer. What are his politics? There are Christians all over the political spectrum from extremely conservative to quite liberal.

Do you imagine having children with him? How would the children be raised? Would he be comfortable attending a non-denominational church like the Unitarian Universalists? Would you? What if he insisted that children be baptized and attend Christian catechism?

It could work but you have a lot to talk about.

[Asker]

Yes, that's what I was thinking. And I know I shouldn't end things for just assuming he's going have these values i don't gree with, i don't know how to bring it up in a way that isn't insensitive.

[slatyb]

Don't worry about being insensitive. This is a very important topic for any couple dating with a goal of marriage. If he can't discuss it without becoming angry, then he's not the one for you.

[Asker]

You know, that's really true. Thank you

[slatyb]

If you find yourself afraid to bring up something for fear of angering your partner, you need to end the relationship.

[madewithingredients]

as a guy who used to be very Christian and got into a serious relationship with a non-religious person: no, it's not a good idea.
of course he's sweet, well-behaved and whatnot. but he's gonna try to convert you and he's gonna judge you for everything and eventually he will make you know that he disapproves of everything you do that isn't in line with Christianity.

[Plugs]

They would wait for marriage because it’s an extreme sin to touch a unmarried partner. Given u don’t accept it I would suggest u leave him , I would never let a mam touch me before marriage

[laly520]

I won't recommend especially if he is religious

u two won't get along

[ChicoFromThe305]

I'd say you won't know unless you try, who knows, maybe at some point things can change, I'm sure if there's a deal breaker it will happen you can always give it a shot

[AngryCarl]

This is a good time to ask him about his beliefs and find out if they're compatible with yours. Remember Christianity is an umbrella term which embraces a lot of crazy cults.

[Asker]

I want to, because I don't want to just assume things about him because of his religion. But i don't know how to bring it up in a way that won't hurt him or make him defensive.

[AngryCarl]

hmm, that is tricky.

[SotiCoto]

Don't fuck crazy. Not even once.

[Anonymous]

No, you shouldn’t. Leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

Probably not.