Should I text her first if she said she would get back to me about a date?

[intellectus964]

OK, so here's the essential gist. I asked this girl to a movie and she said yes but it had to be pushed twice (on her account) and I wasn't available to go the next week due to exams but I said to her that we could do it after my last exam on Tuesday. However she said that she maybe going skiing, so really there's still a 2-3 day gap between not knowing and knowing if Tuesday would work and she said she would let me know if Tuesday will work.

My question is really, should I ask about Tuesday? She said she would get back to me so I'm just waiting right now. My gut feeling is that I should wait until Monday or so to see if she does let me know. Though I feel that if I text her first I'm coming off as needy or something or that it seems that I have to remind her about it. But I also feel that maybe it's at a point where I shouldn't be expecting her to text me first because we haven't exactly gone out yet. I like this girl but I can't tell whether or not she likes me back in this situation.

Thoughts?

[celestialdaeva]

A lot of guys misunderstand what makes them seem needy. Taking initiative and expressing interest does NOT make you seem needy. In fact, it makes you seem ballsy -- as long as you don't push it too far. How often do you text? When is the last time you had any communication with her? She could easily think you forgot or lost interest. I would definitely recommend you send her a text -- preferably NOW -- saying something like "I'd still love to catch a movie with you. Any word yet on whether or not Tuesday will work?"

What makes a guy seem needy is when they need constant attention. It's very "Hey! Look at me! And not ANYWHERE ELSE!" And it's not reciprocal. If you text a girl 50 times a day, but she's texting you back and engaging in the conversation -- it's not going to come across as needy. It's going to come across as a connection. If you text a girl once a week and get one-word responses (or no response) and she never engages, it'll come off as needy. When it comes to making contact, it's quality, not quantity (or timing) that makes it seem needy.

[intellectus964]

Just a couple times a week not super often, I talked to her yesterday though but I didn't bring it up because well I was pondering whether or not I should. It's just I don't know how interested she really is which is also what gets at me.

[intellectus964]

Sorry just to add something; in conjunction with bassman's answer what do you think of that? I feel that he definitely delivers a good point but I also don't wanna be hasty in deciding to let this go.

[celestialdaeva]

He could be right. Or he could be wrong. There's really no way to know unless you try to find out. When you do talk to her, is it her just responding to whatever you asked? Or does she actually engage in conversation? She could be insecure, unsure of herself, inexperienced... How old is she? There's really not enough information in what you posted for anyone to be able to conclusively say she is or isn't interested. If she says no again, put it on her to schedule something and back off.

[intellectus964]

Yes she engages (but after I do I guess just cause I need to push the conversation further than my initial reason for texting) I guess now I'm leaning towards texting her and depending on what happens I'll ask her if she is interested but not too directly. She is a year younger than me

[Anonymous]

i think you should call her - makes it easier to arrange and also makes you look more confident

[Opinion Owner]

or if you don't wanna call just text her saying "hey you still keen for ..." - its no big deal just be upfront and keep the texts short and sweet

[bassman]

Okay man this is typical "girl with low interest level". Here's why:

1. Made 2 excuses at the start, for not going to movies. No specific counteroffer = low interest level

2. Said no a 3rd time. gave a maybe skiing excuse. (blocks you out so her schedule will be open to other things like skiing. = low interest level

3. Gave you the old "I let you know" line. = low interest level because she likely wants you to stop asking her...so she said she'll contact you next time.

My thoughts are her interest level is so low that she's not worth meeting or contacting again. Girls with HIGH interest do NOT do the things this girl has. Girls with high interest level make every thing seem easy. Your situation is more like a struggle.

She's had her 2 chances. That's all she gets. Time for you to delete the number and move on.

[intellectus964]

Yeah what you're saying makes a lot of sense, I just wish that there was just a way to confirm this because when I do text her she seems into it.

[bassman]

There is a wayto comfirm it. Her actions, or lack thereof. Girls especially, will text, just to be texting. And it will sound good,and your high interest level will make it sound better. It doesn't matter if she said she wants to be the mother of your children...it doesn't matter because her actions say otherwise

[Racez]

Yes, you should definitely text her first. You're the one who wants to have a date.