Why is it considered unacceptable for men to prefer masculine women?

[AltoonaYourPiano]

First, let me clarify, by "masculine women" I mean tomboys, androgynous women, genderqueer of female birth, and other women who don't fit the feminine mold. I do NOT mean women who look like Chaz Bono (although if someone is attracted to them, more power to them). Physically, I'm attracted to the whole spectrum, but I prefer more boyish women, and I've found that they make the best girlfriends for someone like me. To give an idea of what I find attractive, here's Erika Linder being silly.

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But what bothers me is that women are allowed to have different tastes, some like big beefy "macho men", and others like pretty and feminine men. But men are all supposed to prefer Pamela Anderson (or, for you younger people, Megan Fox) or else they're suspected of being gay in the closet (yet a gay man who likes femme gay men is never suspected of being straight in the closet). Either that or he's stereotyped as being "the girl" so to speak. But I'm a huge guy who looks like a big burly pioneer woodsman from the 1800s, and there's nothing feminine about my personality (unless being a musician is considered "feminine"), and I do microwave experiments that even freak out the biggest daredevils.

So basically, why the double standard? Why is it that women can have varied taste in men, but it's only acceptable for men to like one type of woman?

[Anonymous]

It's not about double standards for men or women. It simply is because there is a widely accepted idea of what being a woman and looking like one is.

Being feminine and most of all looking feminine, looking like a woman is very well defined nowadays. You only have to take a look at all the women on tv, in ads and such. There is one model of feminine beauty, and one model only.

It's even more emphasized since women are mostly identified by their looks rather than personal qualities.

There's less of such a thing with men however. Looking like "a man", really comes in all shape and forms. There are the pretty boys and the more rugged type of masculine beauty, the buff type and the skinny type and all of those don't affect people's ability to identify their gender. There's no such thing for women. Women with angular feature or androgynous looks are looked down as women.

One very good example of this are gay persons. Lesbians are often thought to look manly (and not just act manly which illustrates the whole issue). Another guy or girl saying to one woman that she looks like a lesbian are actually telling her that she doesn't look womanly at all.

It's different for gay men. Gay men are still thought to look like men. Some are even incredibly manly in their looks. What is thought as feminine in gay men is usually their behavior .

So yes, it's not about what taste is acceptable for men or women. It's more about what is commonly identified as a "female" and as a "male.

[lumos]

It's a social stigma. As always, the media is the one to blame for it, really. Everywhere you see skinny women with "the perfect body" clinging onto masculine and huge guys. TV, ads, magazines, movies, all of it is focused on manly men and feminine women. So whenever masculine and manly men prefer women that aren't as feminine as society would want them to be, it somehow almost becomes frowned upon. I can't explain why some people feel like this. Personally I don't give a damn about anyone's preferences, as long as they are harmless. When it boils down to it, most of us actually somehow have other preferences than what the media portrays. It just seems like it's the go-to "picture" to use when determining if someone has "normal" preferences or not. It's pretty much screwed up.

My advice to you is to just not give a damn about it. If you find tomboys/androgynous women attractive, then go for it. Anyone who judges you for that preference isn't worth your time anyway, since they are so close-minded. :)

[FaerieGirl]

I think it should be fine to date tomboy girls. Double standard applies in a lot of places between men and women, and honestly a lot of it should be ignored. As Bill Engvall would say "A girl can blame her whole screaming fit and bad day on her hair, but if I guy tried to blame his horrid day on a 'bad weiner day' he would be made fun of and laughed out of town"

[normalice]

i don't know if "unacceptable" is the right word. Perhaps "uncommon".

Personally, I welcome any guy who has tastes that are contrary to mine, because it means there are fewer guys competing with me, so, by any means necessary, have at it!

[DeepBlue]

Whatever floats your boat. Not my business. Preference is a personal thing.