Is it wrong in the modern age to prefer "masculine" men?

Question

Now, before anyone starts spurting a period-fountain: I'm not talking about traditional masculinity in the sense of being a provider or being unemotional - though I naturally prefer less emotional people as a whole, regardless of gender. I'm talking about typical masculine traits, like strength, liking sports - you know, just having a more "male" mentality.

For me personally, I have always been attracted to men's-men. Guys who aren't afraid of physical labour, getting dirty, yelling when their team scores, and being physically protective over me. I love a guy who can fix stuff around the house and explain to me how cars and shit work. It's just my preference. However, this age has given birth to less-defined individuals who are perhaps more fluid in what they consider masculine and feminine.

I. E. Guys who like to wear thongs, dress in women's clothing occasionally, who want to be extremely submissive (not that this is inherently female, but it's more common) etc. There's also many more guys out there who are very emotional and sensitive, you get the gist.

While I have no issues with these men personally, I am not attracted to them in the slightest. I'm turned off by guys who are super sensitive, submissive, who wanna dress in women's underwear lol. However, this has been a problem for a few people because I'm apparently enforcing a "toxic" idea of masculinity.

So, I want the internet to weigh in: Am I a hypocrite? Am I wrong for feeling this way? How do you feel about concepts of masculinity?

9teen · Accepted Answer

The kind you're seeking are men with high testosterone and they're not that common. They're the only kind who aren't affected of liberalism and genderflued bullshit due to their stubbornness and masculinity. They're also the best looking, masculine af and they're strong.
They're however hard to get as in their interest or attention is difficult to get because most girls don't appeal to them so it takes those girls hard work (from what I've seen). However, there is a kind of girls which is also not that common which makes them fall in love instantly without her doing anything (in my experience); very feminine (naturally high estrogen) girls (note there is a difference between girly and femininity). It's their weakness.
I'm like you. I feel completely turned off, even disgusted of those who aren't masculine and try to be something they're not but that might be also due to my hormones (my estrogen is high), I generally don't fall for men who show or have any feminine features even when they're small. Must be completely masculine, the opposite of me. I have the luck that I generally attract such men lmao otherwise I'd be definitely ending up with 75 cats later.

Wonderer89 · Accepted Answer

I genuinely don’t understand why people are so invested and get offended over other people’s preference for what they desire in a partner just because they don’t fit your ideal.
The best I can assume, is that they take it personally when another describes their ideal and they don’t fit into it, and try to gaslight you into having to make excuses or pardons for your preference

OatsnWhey · Accepted Answer

You can date whoever you want. We live in a pussified generation. The idea of masculinity and femininity should not be perceived as toxic. They are natural. Individuals who deviate from a natural order are going to be perceived as inferior on a societal level. This is natural too. People in modern society have a way of glamorizing inferiority and shaming superiority. It’s a way to rationalize their shortcomings. In other words, it’s a coping mechanism and absolutely delusional. I’m prideful of my masculinity. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.

SaintJonesy · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's wrong to have a preference, and most women have this preference. It's wrong to assume that your preference is how people "should" be though. For example, I'm very expressive. I can't help it, but my emotions are usually written on my face before I even realize I'm feeling them. I don't expect women to be attracted to me, but when they start talking about what is "wrong" with me or start trying to emasculate me, that's a little obnoxious.

Some_Goof · Answer

We women are attracted to this kind of men. To masculinity. There's nothing wrong, its in our biology.

EpicDweeb · Answer

I think the image of manliness and what I'd call "good manliness" has changed for a lot of people. Wirh the whole idea of "toxic masculinity" common manly men stereotypes are associated along with traits like not respecting women and such. WhIle I think this is a flawed perspective and traditional manliness is a very good thing I still understand it. I think there are some flaws with the traditional sense of manliness but there's also a lot that's good about it. I don't think anyone who likes manly men is in the wrong for that preference. However, I don't approve when people look down on men as being unmanly when they don't meet the manly man stereotype or expectation. Sure there are some that I think take things too far by rejecting those parts of themselves that make them men (not talking about genitals for the record). I think it's pointless and foolish for guys to actively deny and fight against anything that sounds like traditional manliness and there are guys who do that. But yeah, I kind of imagine standing on top of a big square or some other shape. It's slippery and small and there's an etreme you can fall into for each side of the shape. People can fall into extremes so easily and I think extremes can be very dangerous things.

ak667 · Answer

I don't see anything toxic about the type of man you describe. Those types often get things done when there's a problem as opposed to making them worse. I'm deducing some associated character traits but those types also tend to be calm and don't complain endlessly about their life problems while sinking into negativity and despair.

To the contrary the ones who are more fluid and reject masculinity are ones I worry about more, like Kurt Cobain whose parents divorced:

"I remember feeling ashamed, for some reason. I was ashamed of my parents. I couldn't face some of my friends at school anymore, because I desperately wanted to have the classic, you know, typical family. Mother, father. I wanted that security, so I resented my parents for quite a few years because of that."

He ended up defying masculine roles, bullied people in school, defied his father by deliberately losing a wrestling match, and so forth. And while he was a young and good-looking and charismatic man, I think that rejection of masculinity and the confusion about how to be a man in a world where men are expected to behave like men lead to his emotional instability, drug abuse, and eventual suicide.

I often see feminists tackling this issue by suggesting the problem is the world's expectations for men to behave in a masculine way, but more females than males attempt suicide and females tend to have their share of insecurities and psychological issues.

The one group of people I can generally account on to be psychologically stable are masculine men who can often keep their cool and get their act together even during times of crises.

VIVANT · Answer

It’s funny you don’t like emotions nap prior but like Gus yelling when their team scores- tat always makes me uncomfortable kind of like sobbing dies.

Anyhow you like what you like but honestly what you like us the norm and fluid people get a lot of shit for not being one extreme or the other

I think people should be free to express themselves. But at the point they attack others for not being as they are or wa ting as they do- then it’s wrong.

I also would absolutely prefer knowing how to do things than having someone explain it. I don’t see how this is macho one or feminine but just competency and I don’t see why anyone would want to lack that just to feel feminine or masculine or like their partner is more feminine or masculine... like women who play dumb just to feel like her guy is smart or guys wjo Acts like he doesn’t know how to clean a house to avoid feeling feminine

We will be on our own at some point or another so independent of how we spread ourselves we should know how to take care of say to say things without having to label that as any kind of person

David456 · Answer

You are just fine. Woman are hardwired to fancy masculine traits I mean the innate masculine traits and not culturally constructed. and not all masculine traits are culture constructed. Science shows men and woman are different. there is nothing wrong in preference though. Mainstream media, celebs are making it cool to think we are identical, we are equal sure but that does not have to mean we are identical. Loads of crap was cool back in time.
Woman are hardwired to look for resourceful, strong and confident men. Even wanting a provider as preference is not wrong because why would it be? forcing someone would be a bad idea though. Anyway sounds pressure on men but that is nature. Nowadays people don't want truth but comforting stuff.
Truth can't be sexist.

ZanyInternetName · Answer

1) Why'd that make you a hypocrite?

2) Ah, yes, those guys. I don't want to be with a faggot either (ironic, considering my sexuality).

3) Now, I don't think feeling that way is wrong. Nobody is entitled to one's body, so one mustn't give anyone else a chance.

4) Men are naturally, as aggregate, a certain way and, when comparing men and women, these differences are what make masculinity and femininity. I think the traditional concept of masculinity as I have experienced it thus far has its merits, and I do think that it is necessarily bad, but some parts of it can, if taken to the extreme, be bad (which is then referred to as toxic). An example of toxic masculinity would be some men (most notably veterans) being unable to deal with loss because one was taught to be unemotional and as such never learned how to deal with such situations as loosing family, squad members or close friends.

I hope this could help ya.

Cool_Guy_17 · Answer

When I first read your question, I thought it would be ridiculous for a female to find a submissive guy attractive.. but now that I think of it, that's where society is heading. I mean even females are becoming more masculine from all the female rights stuff. Personally, I'm fairly masculine, and find feminine girls.. well.. attractive! But I feel like people overall are breaking "gender norms" these days more than ever, which makes more guys nowadays seem less masculine as well as more girls appearing less feminine.

BarneySimpson · Answer

I Think you prefer real men because you are a real woman. To be yourself you must differentiate from your partner otherwise you have to change completely. To be completely Men and women is not something you are born with, it is mostly learned and liked. I'm slightly on the feminine side of the male spectrum. Sometimes i find the things that men like here in Italy are pretty stupid, so i look for something else. I don't know if it disqualify me from being a real man, but this is the way I am most of the time...

DanielOfTheNorth · Answer

I believe men should be men, and women should be women. I am probably going to get hate messages for even saying this but I do not care. That is how it was meant to be. That is how it should be. Men are the head of the household. Women are the head of the family (children etc). I personally feel a man should be in charge of his life, make his own decisions, and lead his family. The wife should support him. Men should be the bread winners, men should take care of the house (repairs, work) men should take their sons camping, fishing, hunting, play sports with them, teach them what it means to be a man. They should show their sons by example how to treat a lady. A father should teach his daughter what a real man is like, so they don't date the wrong guys growing up. He should instill in them the ideals of what to look for in a man. A man should protect his family and die to save his wife or children. A man should have absolute authority

Anonymous · Answer

Don't buy into the bullshit. Toxic masculinity has evolved into a weaponised term people use for anything a man does that they don't like. I'm very masculine, but I don't use manipulation tactics, I don't want my woman to be inferior to me, and I don't control her in any way. In fact, I feel that those things are characteristic of FALSE masculinity. A real man is naturally a leader and competitor. He doesn't feel the need to make the people around him weaker. He'd rather raise them up, even to the point of being better than him.

JimRSmith · Answer

I think you're absolutely qualified to decide who you prefer, and the people who are accusing you of "enforcing a toxic idea of masculinity" ought to fuck right off back into their safe spaces.

Pauliho · Answer

As a straight male in the a leftist country (UK) who doesn't hug or kiss friends, bisexual, works hard, sportsman, doesn't complain, doesn't show unecessary affection and is not overly emotional...

I often recieve a lot of shit for being myself lol, I feel like guys like me are becoming the minority here in the UK

Astraea · Answer

I love gentlemen that treat women with respect. That doesn't mean a push-over or even a submissive but I do like guys who like to help or serve others... a giver. Those types of men can be manly too like firemen, paramedics etc. I like good guys. I'm turned on by differences not similarities. I definitely don't want to come home to a guy wearing my panties and shaving his legs.

Kai02 · Answer

Nah u just have a type. Thats perfectly fine.
If u thought ALL men had to fit this type or theyre wrong or bad, yea you'd be wrong. But u just are attracted to men lile that and that's perfectly fine.

U dont choose what kind of people you're attracted to

Salmon4056 · Answer

No its not wrong to perfer them. I like that too but I guess society tries to tells people you can be anything, therefore making some genders act a different way. Plus, just adding ( I think some men who act kinda sensitive and maybe feminine, sometimes can be the people who where rasied in a one parent home, probably rasied by just a mom, who you know is familiar with femininity

boggboss · Answer

So as being a guy I honestly know no guys that act in the more feminine manner overly emotional always complains about there problems yet don't listen to advise on how to fix it didn't even know guys would claim to wear girls underwear as a open thing I guess it's because cultural wise most my friends are black or mix race and things like that are less acceptable

DumbandDumbber · Answer

No it's not and it's good that there are women out there who still do. Men nowadays get raised by single mothers/female teachers and they get scolded for displaying their masculine side. (being competitive, upfront, wrestling with other kids, climbing trees etc.) Because of this a lot of guys these days are more on the sensitive side, which is a shame because I feel men should stay masculine and women should stay feminine.

PS that doesn't mean men can't ever be sensitive/caring/emotional

Anonymous · Answer

Your not wrong for feeling this way at all. You shouldn't feel guilty about it either. Those people who are saying you a forming a "toxic idea of masculinty" are sensitive and are better off with a guy who is sensitive too. There are two types of men and you prefer a man that is more masculine than feminine and that's okay.

ScaryCool · Answer

No you're not wrong for wanting and liking certain traits in a man, it is what it is.

I also feel a guy can be manly and still be sensitive as well though.
I'm not going to walk around like an unemotional ape man lol

RoastedCharms · Answer

It's not wrong at all. A man isn't a man if he can't demonstrate masculinity, although emotion can still be available. Some of the strongest people will still have emotion, but only during breaking points in difficult moments in life.

Is it wrong in the modern age to prefer "masculine" men?

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