As a woman with a lot of gay male friends, it amazes me that gay men these days are way more masculine than straight men... at least in their appearance. They are hairy (and proud of it), strong and fit, etc...
Many modern day straight men--at least in big cities--seem to be rather effeminate and non-masculine, especially in their look, smell (yes, too much cologne and "grooming" is a bad thing in my opinion) and mannerisms...
I blame the mainstream media and academia and "western feminism" (or as I like to call it, feminism that is not interested in the feminine) and their incessant man hating and focus on things like "toxic masculinity." I think modern society--and modern women--have made me afraid to BE men... and the result is all these feminized, metro sexual men.
Our food is also to blame. Today's western diet is full of poisons and loaded with ESTROGEN... Estrogen--surprise, surprise--has a feminizing effect on men (and for women leads to all types of cancers). Men (and women) should not be consuming all this estrogen.
Overall, on many fronts, masculinity is under attack. Masculinity is not a bad thing. There needs to be a balance. Masculine and feminine are natural expressions in nature. I am talking about sex, not gender or sexual orientation, but rather the biological reality of being male or female, regardless of one's identity or sexual orientation. There is such a thing as masculine and female energy. Today many women are taking on too much masculine energy and vice versa. The result is a society that is completely unbalanced. I LOVE being a woman and cherish my feminine energy, etc. I wish men felt more free to embrace their masculine energy.
Men can be whatever they like, but iām assuming you want me to tell you if iād like a man to be more masculine or not in terms of attractiveness?
for me personally, i like a lot of the typically masculine traits; protective, muscular, bold/confident. However, if a man doesnāt have feminine traits, heād be hell. If a man is not caring, doesnāt know how to express/process emotions, isnāt collaborative, intuitive, forgiving etc, he isnāt the one for me.
So iād probably say men need to be a good mixture of both, just like women should.
What is up with all the masculinity questions here? People should be free to be themselves. Both masculinity and femininity are good traits, so if a person has one more than the other I still see no problem there. Masculine women or feminine men don't bother me. Everyone is different.
It's a matter of mistaking the finger for finger pointing to the moon with me. I think the main goal should be the truest you can to yourself, so that you do not create a fake, artificial personality. Being either or is not disempowering or bad, it is the underlying issue of self repression that is the issue. Men and women have a natural affinity towards either that is best suited for them to achieve the personhood they require, it is when this affinity is destroyed by either internal or external influences that either becomes a problem. In todays political climate, men. and everything about men is facing ridiculous and insidious forms of discrimination. This is leading to either a over feminization or a over masculinization. Men or boys being told to be more feminine or be more masculine are of the same destructive tool. The problem is the artificial part of it, remove the artificial part, by quitting the gender politics war, and things will be as they should.
Mistaking the moon for the finger pointing to the moon. in otherwords, men who try to men fail. Women who try to be women fail. The effort is unneccessary. The mind and body act of it's natural essence. Mankind only hinders and disrupts it with idealogy and pathology. Men and women both can achieve by not trying to do either but allowing it to unfold as it should. It only fails to unfold when the ego interferes. Peoples ego is what underpins all of these controversies we discuss.
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject. Actually, he keeps chiseling away at the nonessentials until the truth of his creation is revealed without obstruction.
Men are severely emasculated in the present day that it makes me sick. Men generally now lack in practical and intellectual skills, they lack all masculine vitures (strength, courage, mastery, honour, integrity etc); women don't respect their men anymore because of how weak and meak most of them are, which in turn has made them less feminine.
@kitty71 Feminism is just a tool by the elite to destroy the family unit, but feminism only ever took place because of poisonous lies being sold about "female emancipation". However I blame the weakness of the men for letting it flourish in the first place.
i think masculinity isn't about looks. it's your mindset and the way you feel about yourself. I myself haven't been blessed with rugged masculine looks. I've always looked kind of weak although i never doubted that i'm a total guy. like when i keep quiet in my classes at university girls think that i'm shy and insecure but if a big, manly guy does the same they'll think his cool and mysterious. But what can i do? it's been better since i started working out. if some other guy has the same problem i recommend to do the same
Yes. I think the problem is that men, and especially boys, are being taught not to be. People say "no men should just be themselves" but often these are the same people who discourage masculinity in boys/men, and therefore don't actually want to allow them to be themselves.
@bamesjond0069 No, really, hyper masculine men are boring as shit lol. Big buff emotionless dudes are lame. I'm aware that my standards are uncommon though.
that's your opinion and i don't get why people are voting down your comment, you're not stating it as a fact like some other anonymous girls are, they go on rants about toxic masculinity but are too afraid to publicly state such a thing because they know how stupid the darned thing is, you're merely giving your opinion and what you like which is something you shouldn't be attacked for.
@Gopnik Yeah, I've said this a couple of times already and for some reason this specific one got a lot of hate haha. It's not like I'm saying masculinity is bad, I'm just not personally attracted to it.
Whatever floats your boat. If a girl wants a masculine dude, she will find one. If a girl does not, she will find a dude who is not masculine. If you are a guy and you want to be masculine, that is your prerogative. Same thing applies to dudes who arenāt into being masculine. Everything is a choice.
Be whatever, nobody but you actually cares that much about YOU in the end. Feel like being masculine? Boom, go pump iron and hang out with the bros to watch footy. Feel like being feminine? Boom, go--do whatever feminine guys do I don't know, gossip? Swim, have female friends. Appreciate your appearance. I have no idea--
I think every individual man should be himself. Whatever that may be is little of my concern. We should not delegate being a man to only being a specific type of masculine.
Now personally, I'm a pretty masculine guy but without a doubt there are men far more masculine and "manly" than I am. But so what? Anyone who's mskes a big deal about it whether SJWs or traditional conservatives can ans should shut up and stop trying to enforce their rules on others.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Yeah but masculinity is bad (says our society). Men are inherintly bad (says our news and corporate ad campaigns). Men need to stop being pigs and grow a brain (say talk shows). Men are just useless idiots who are lucky to find any woman (say sitcoms / modern family shows and rom-coms).
I want more positivity toward men. Let boys be boys, let men be men, stop trying to make guys conform because "masculinity is bad and men are bad" as we've heard for decades now.
If another dude is grabbing your girlfriend ass and u do not fuck he's face up untill he lands in hospital
U are not a man in my opinion or at least you try to beat him i know if he is stronger and taller u got 0 chance and u will get fucked up or even killed but u have to try
Well some men do, some men have no spine anymore and just bitch and moan instead of actually getting things done, but their are still plenty of masculine men out there working hard, raising families, building businesses, masculinity is gonna be around forever
I mean, if that's what you like doing then you do you. I don't see why it wouldn't make u a man. But I'd recommend sleeping on a satin pillowcase, it's just better for your hair.
Depends what it is meant by more āmasculine.ā If by more āmasculineā you mean being more confident, taking charge of situations, being braver, and initiating more then yes I think many men today can benefit from that behavior.
In order to be more masculine, we would have to compare ourselves to each other and find the competition to beat. I'm tired of competitive men in the world. Let's all just be happy with each other and the way we look/act.
Masculinity and feminine is spectrum. I think it depends on a person. What makes themselves happy matters more. I have seen transvestism and transgenderism. Some are masculine and some are feminine and some are in the middle. Society shouldnāt be judging them. There are more criminals hiding underneath of your own house than transvestities showing themselves out there.
NO BEING MASCULINE IS EVIL, men should cry more often, wax their legs, wear dresses, and drink gallons of soy.
THEY ARE STILL MEN! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Should be? No.
Have to be? Yes. Masculinity is fragile, that is not a jab at men, it is more directed at women who demand it. It's fragile because women set the bounds of what it is. Conforming to these expectations is a lot better than the alternative; if you're not a "real man" then generally speaking you're dead weight to them.
Men should act however they want. Plain and simple.
I'll be frank here, I'm not the most masculine guy. I'm totally happy with it. It's too bad that men who are very masculine, but insecure about themselves, want to take that away from me.
Yes, if you mean, in a confident, intelligent way. Not the insecure type of men that try to be "macho" and use women and are horrible to people!
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Just have a beard and show women whoās boss. Like donāt be mean but donāt let them control you and if you get in a fight with your girlfriend just raise your voice and shout at her face to face so sheāll get scared and respect you and bow to your masculinity, which is what girls actually wanna do.
Depends, I have been told by gay guys that the bigger the muscles, the bigger the bottom, so men that act all tough generally like being fucked hard by other guys. I think I'll just settle on being a dude, its less suffering.
Depends on what you mean by masculine. If it means to take charge, protect people, help build society then yes. If you mean don't show emotions, suck it up face everything alone, show aggression even when it's not necessary then no.
I don't really care. I don't like very masculine cause they seem scary. I actually kind of like more feminine guys because they look more aesthetically pleasing to me and also aren't as scary.
No one 'should' be anything. Why do men need to feel pressured to be masculine? If a man WANTS to be masculine , go ahead. If he doesn't that's also fine.
I like how everyone on here is saying masculine men dont show emotions. Wtf? Ok so when a burglar breaks in you want us to have tears streaming down our face? If someone insults us you would be into us having a temper tantrum? We do have emotions. But we express them different. We have testosterone not estrogen. We experience them differently. Estrogen makes y'all cry T doesn't. Notice many of you cry for no reason on your period. We can't ever be like that even if we try. Secondly we a logical beings. Often we relieve our negative emotions by thinking them through. That why we like to just focus on a hobby and be left alone so we can think. Lastly if we do show emotions its often anger that counts, crying isn't the only way to be emotional. You have to count anger too. And if you specifically mean crying that just means you're looking to feminize men.
I don't know but I love that guy's looks in the photo haha
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
They shouldnāt focus on being more masculine or feminine. I think I speak for many women if I say that they should just be confident and comfortable with themselfes!
@kitty71 Always fascinating how women think of female behavior as disgusting, weak, childish, pathetic and egocentric, as soon as they see a guy exhibit it.
@kitty71 Like if he cried over a movie. Or talked at length about his feelings. When his feelings are easily hurt. If he can't suppress physical pain. If he orders anything "fancy" at a bar or restaurant. If he cried if you didn't think of your anniversary. If you can do anything wrong in his eyes.
Have you ever noticed, that everything that makes masculinity what it is, is actually just about not encroaching on the female identity? That it is actually about YOU?
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