A girl I was getting close to suddenly seems disinterested?

[Anonymous]

I've known this girl for around 6 months and we've been getting progressively closer each time we see each other. We got to the point where we hug each other very often and will hold hands etc. She's told me that she trusts me, and everything seemed to be going very well. I was planning on 'officially' asking her out soon.

However, out of nowhere she's started to ignore me a bit. Won't respond to messages or gives very brief responses etc etc. Nothing huge, but enough to set off red flags. I don't feel like I've done anything to bother her so I'm really confused. I don't message her frequently and don't feel like I've ever said anything too 'intense' that hasn't been reciprocated.

I felt like the relationship was something special, so I'm just really confused by the sudden distance. I'd ask her what the deal is but I don't want to come across as insecure or needy.

Is it common for girls to suddenly go from hot to cold like that without it being a big deal, or should I take this as a sign that she's not interested?

[bobair]

Women are like the weather... everything influence how they feel and it's useless to try to control or explain it. They are emotional creatures and fancy changing their minds and their moods.

Your job is to not be such a puss puss... and to escalate instead of dragging your feet like a grade school girl.

6 months!? Really? Come on... what girl wants to wonder and ponder for 6 months while you look for a proper set of balls in order to make some moves!

:)

Your best approach right now is as follows...

1) Mirror her distance. If she wants some space then give it to her.

2) Give yourself permission to be attracted to her. It's OKAY to WANT a woman.

3) After a week or two of giving her some space it's time to re-initiate contact. So flirt. Send her a text that's a photo or something that will make her laugh. Like an inside joke.

Or even something flirty, like a super cute dress you see on on display at the mall... send her a photo of it and say, "Hey, this would look great on you! Come buy it!"

4) Line up two dates. But don't call them dates. Just say, "Hey, dinner at my place this Friday night after work? It's home made pizza time!"

Keep up the hugging hello and good bye, and the hand holding, but increase the sexual vibe. Like, "Hey, your ass looks amazing in those jeans! When did you get them?" Or what ever is your cup of tea.

Remember... she's a woman and if she's into you she'll return the vibe.

5) Kiss her. Mid date. But not out of the blue... only after continuing to build tension and flirting and touching and laughing.

If she's distant and won't meet up then that's okay too. She wants space so it's your job to respect that. Give her the gift of missing you.

In the meantime you should be meeting other women ASAP.

Nothing helps a woman remember how awesome you are as when other women are giving you attention.

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

[KERMlT]

Congratulations. You somehow missed the turn for boyfriend and landed in the Friend Zone.

[Asker]

Yeeah... That's pretty much how I read the situation as well. "WTF?" is about my only reaction to that...

[KERMlT]

Just try to take it as a learning experience, tell yourself that it wasn't meant to be, and keep looking.

[Asker]

I'd love to, but I have no idea what to learn from it since I don't know what happened... lol. Thanks anyway, dude. Appreciate the response.

[That-Guy]

yulp

[Anonymous]

I'm kind in the same boat as you, only a little different. She was replying like crazy at the beginning but now she hardly replies at all. the thing with her though is that she has actually said she's not wanting a relationship right now and that's simply because she wants to focus on her job AND because she just got out of a long term (4 year relationship). so, I'm hoping she hasn't friend zoned me, because I'm trying to respect what she wants