Why do I attract guys with girlfriends? Is it me?

[Anonymous]

First off, I've always been emotionally unavailable anyone I'm with I can basically flip a switch and feel nothing for them anymore. Well until I fell for one guy I fell hard we dated for 2yrs.he was living with his "sister" I got knocked up then found out his "sister" was his girlfriend he's been with for 3yrs..f***ed up right? Lol anyways after that I've.kind of dated around its.been fine I just get bored easy and then find.someone.new. Until recently it's kind.of.started all over again I liked a guy we hit it off pretty well then my friend tells me he.has a girlfriend, awesome. I left him alone for a while but I don't know we had some type of spark and ended up having sex, I feel horrible I won't answer his texts or calls ever since, and it continues to happe. I don't have sex.with all of them I've only been with 4 guys butguys with gfs seem to want me and I have no idea why? I just want a normalrelationship that has the spark, connecrion, and passion I have with those men. But for.some reason I don't attract.single men. Whats.wrong with me? Am I just extremely easy? Or is.it just because I love sex and emotions.never get in the way with me?

[Anonymous]

It isn't that guys with girlfriends are more attracted to you, than guys without girlfriends. It is that you are more attracted to guys with girlfriends, than a guy that doesn't have a girlfriend. Guys with girlfriends tend to feel more comfortable around women, than guys without girlfriends. This displays a level of confidence that a lot of men lack. Also lets face the facts, the more attractive a guy is, the more likely he is to have a girlfriend, than an ugly guy. So women tend to be more attracted to the types of guys, that can get, and that have girlfriends.

I am sure there are plenty of guys without girlfriends, that would love to go out with you, but most of them lack the social skills, looks, or the confidence to attract you.

[Asker]

Sooo how do I fix it? I keep thinking I've found a single guy I like and yet again find out they're in a relationship. Single guys never make a move on me. I'm trying to fix this issue just don't know.exactly how...if that makes sense?

[Opinion Owner]

What you are saying is making perfect sense. Most of the guys without girlfriends have confidence issues that keep them from asking women out. As a result, they stay single. You could get to know they guy better, before sleeping with him. Go to his house, meet his friends, and family. It is unlikely a guy with a girlfriend, would be as willing to let a girl, into his life like that for fear of his girlfriend, finding out. You might also check him out on Facebook, and see what you can find out.

[Asker]

Thanks, that's actually really helpful.

[Opinion Owner]

Your welcome. Also, I don't think you are twisted.

[Pedantic]

I think this quote from your question explains it all-

"Until recently it's kind.of.started all over again I liked a guy we hit it off pretty well then my friend tells me he.has a girlfriend, awesome. I left him alone for a while but I don't know we had some type of spark and ended up having sex"

This tells me that the fact the guy has a girlfriend is not an obstacle to you. Players have it hard - they usually have to juggle women and secrets. But you're a great candidate, because the typical concerns are a non-issue with you; that is to say, you are a willing collaborator in their plans.

It doesn't mean you are easy, it just means all the unfaithful types will pick you out.

[Asker]

That just means I need to do better, if I want to try at an actual relationship. I'm yrying to be more picky I guess you could say and read the signs but then I get lonely and just go with my sexual desires instead of waiting and looking for the.right person. Its hard but I really am trying to find a decent guy for me that dosnt bore me to tears after the second week. And a lot of guys I do date I have an issue witg moving to fast getting what I want and.then I'm bored, I just am really not sure

[Asker]

Im just not really sure how to go about changing it.

[Pedantic]

You might want to post your boredom concerns as a separate question and get answers for that specifically.

You could just join (if you haven't already) the open relationship crowd and the polyplayers. There are benefits to DTR -- its good advice. You're not going to find a lot of single guys in those groups. That might explain other GFs around. If you flip the perspective, the guys would perceive the same - as finding many women with boyfriends.

Would you be happy like that?

[Pedantic]

I have a feeling your concern is not the same as your question, "Why do I attract guys with girlfriends? Is it me?", but I am just focusing on the question. Another words, lifestyle choice creates the patterns / groups you are noticing/falling in with. I would answer no, its not 'you'

[freewill10]

because your a little twisted, and have no respect, the guys are twisted with no respect. Until you learn to control yourself and who you date and open your eyes, then reasonalble guys will be avail.

[Asker]

How am I twisted?

[freewill10]

Look at your first sentence...basically emotionally unavailable? and you can flip a switch and feel nothing. But and can have sex right away with a guy...Who was girlfriends! so I think you have been brainwashed by the media or past fam history to think you can do that, and that you are ok.