My sugar daddy left me, did he ever care about me?

[Cutenshy]

Im 24 with my first sugar daddy for three months. after the first month, he took my v crd. I waited for a man to treat me right and he did just that. everything was going great, in fact I suspected he had feelings for me when he became much more affectionate and attentive than previous times. example, usually after we did it, he would distance himself physically, and not call for a few days. I never said anything. Then it changed to him holding me, telling me he wants to take care of me, and holding my hands as he took me home. He told me things like his worst fear is failure, and how he's struggled with dyslexia. Then after all this, out of the blue, he stops. I got confused and told him if he found someone he needs to tell me as we are "exclusive". he writes a thoughtful long email saying he is stressed with family, paying bills with no revenue coming in, and starting his business and I'm not a priority. it hurt, but I get it. He said he knows I'm active on the sd sites and understands why, but is still interested in being my sd. Should I wait, or move on?

Updates

+1 y

Now its over, or at least basically is. After a week of no contact he emailed me that he no longer wanys to be exclusive but wants to see someone closer to his home. Yet, he still wants to see me on occassion and mentor me. He's ending without bbeing man enough to end it. Why is he doing this to me!? Everything was so great. It hurts

[Simple-Simonette]

No where on here did you express any heartfelt feelings for him.

To me, when I see the word "sugar daddy" I think arranged relationship that has nothing to do with emotions. He takes care of the woman financially and she provides him with sex. There is no room for tenderness in that type of arrangement. I find it pretty cold on both parties parts - he knows he's paying for sex and she knows she is being paid for sex. How can anyone, being aware of the facts, can honestly think that there is a chance for a real relationship? There has to be a part of him that thinks that you wouldn't be interested in him if it weren't for his money. And how can you not wonder, even a little, that he may not think about moving on once he is tired of you? Seeing that you're still active in the SD sites tell me that you have thought of that.

I can't see how you can even remotely think there might be a chance for love with what I see as a business arrangement. Maybe he was just seeking comfort in what was available for him and now he's fine. My suggestion isn't to wait, it's to give up the notion that you are going to be seen as anything more that what you present yourself as when dealing with men who are willing to pay for sex.

[laceyz565]

Omg are you serious? You just said you waited for a man to treat you right and he did just that no he didn't! He was paying you for letting him touch you that's it. Your never gonna find a man who loves you for you because the guy that could love you for you will run away after he finds out your a gold digging prostitute. I don't know if you were being serious when you said that because how can you think a sugar daddy cares about you? He cares that your hot and young but that's about it as soon as you get too old he will find another. If you want a real relationship your looking in the wrong places. That's such a superficial relationship. You want to wait until your sugar daddy can afford you? Do you hear how f***ed up that sounds? Of your just in it for the money then find a different sugar daddy because thinking a sugar daddy cares about you when the only reason why your with him is because he's buying you things is like a kidnapper thinking the kid he just kidnapped loves him. It doesn't work that way. I suggest you stop being lazy get a job get some confidence and self esteem make some friends and introduced yourself to some guys. It may be a bit hard at first but its a less lonely life to live and its definitely happier

[Cutenshy]

Please research mutually beneficial arrangements and why it is done. I have two jobs and go to grad school. Your ignorance is palpable.

[laceyz565]

Idc what the reason is. You are selling yourself & its wrong. Ur a prostitute that's what it is. Ur not the only one who struggles we all struggle some more than others but it doesn't mean we sell ourselves to get what we want because at that point your not only selling your body but your soul. What's the point in life to get what you want but lose who you are along the way? Who are you living for at that point? You are worth so much more then you know & true value can't be bought by something so superficial as money

[laceyz565]

I have a way for you to get out of the sugar daddy business and get out of debt. If your interested please please please contact me! I wanna help you!

[MeowMeow2001]

Can you help me too? I didn get into the business but I do need help with debt.

[Anonymous]

Maybe a little, but you're not his girlfriend or wife. You're both just using each other, and it looks like for now he can't afford to keep you around. He has to pay bills and work on his business. That's where his money need to go. Of course you're not a priority. If he can't pay for your stuff and that's all you want, then I don't know why you'd wait around.

[Cutenshy]

I just want to know if he cares about me then ill stay and wait for.him. If not, I can move on to any guy with money. I like him and know he's stressed with paying bills and stuff, so I do understand.

[Opinion Owner]

If you want someone to care about you, this is not the type of relationship to be in. This sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship is one you need to keep feelings out of, or else you will get seriously screwed over. It's a business arrangement. You give him sex and companionship, and he spends money on you. If he can't do that, then there's no point continuing the arrangement. If you want a guy who really treats you right and loves you for you, abandon this whole lifestyle.

[Cutenshy]

Thats how I got into it in the first place. I can't seem to find anyone.that loves me for me. I waited all this time to have sex for love and it never happened. Guys my age never wanted to wait. I thought this was the next best thing. He treated me well for a month without ever asking or pressuring me for sex, NO MAN had EVER done that to me. I know the arrangwmmemt, but started getting feelings since I never had a guy do this for me/treat me so well. I'm scared its the.best ill ever get

[Opinion Owner]

The thing is, you can't use sex as a bartering tool in a real, open and honest relationship with a guy. All guys want to have sex, but some of them want more than that as well. They want all of you, and will care about you. I'm around your age (18-24), and there are definitely guys willing to wait until they know you and you're both ready to move forward. What they're not willing to do is spend a ton of money on you though. That's not how you measure how well a guy treats you, if you want love.

[Cutenshy]

Ok so how do I measure if a guy actually likes me for me? Ive.never been in love and have no clue what guys do.

[Opinion Owner]

If he spends a good amount of quality time with you, he's interested in your likes and dislikes, he wants to know your family and friends and wants you to know his, he cares about your well-being, he isn't afraid to argue with you but never wants to intentionally hurt you, he's emotionally supportive, he makes space for you in his life, he talks about a future with you, he treats you with respect and is considerate of your feelings, etc. When he says he loves you,and you don't doubt he means it.

[Opinion Owner]

A guy like that would never pay you in return for sex, because it's an insult to both of you and your feelings for each other. It would hurt him that a girl he cares about views him as some kind of ATM machine. He doesn't see you as someone who can be bought. Sex is something you share and enjoy together as a healthy part of the relationship.

[TedStar]

You caught feelings. He probably cared for you, but not in the boyfriend/girlfriend way but the sugardaddy/ young girl way. The number one rule with your kind of relationship (as welll as FWB) is not to catch feelings. you have an arrangement it it is your responsibility not fall for him. He wants your body and you want his cash. It is a sort of transaction. Sugar daddies are very manipulative people if you start straying away from from your relationship or if you start wanting more. They will feed you story after story that will make you think that there is a future when there really isn't. It is time to move on

[Theguyoverthere]

Next time try finding an actual boyfriend and stop using sex to get what you want in life.

You're prostituting yourself. It's as nasty as the ads I see on craigslist where college girls offer sex in order to get the funding they next for their textbooks.

[Daph81]

what else do you expect from a guy you call your "sugar daddy?"

The only reason he wants a girl like you is to use you for sex, and for that he will say anything he thinks would please you. But you will never be a part of his life nor will he ever care for you.

This might seem harsh, but you shouldn't have given him your virginity. You should have given it to a guy you genuinely care about, and who genuinely cares about you, not just a guy who uses you for sex.

Just learn from this experience, and maybe not look for another sugar daddy? IMO, it's basically like prostitution: you're offering sex in change of nice stuff. That reminds me why I would enver agree to have sex with a married guy or a guy much older than me.

I'm sure you can find a guy your age who would appreciate you.

[Cutenshy]

I can't I've tried. All they want is sex but never give anything in return at least my sd did that

[Daph81]

and what did he give you? nice stuff?

You know, at least with guys your own age you can withhold sex until you know they care about you.

besides, isn't it disgusting to f*** a guy who is old enough to be your father?

[Theguyoverthere]

I bet the guys did "give her stuff" but she doesn't know it. People don't see the little things others do for them because they're taken for granted.

[swagswagswag]

LMAO he's a sugar daddy, you think he seriously cared about you? He's paying you to date him, doesn't even seem like you cared about him all that much either seeing as you dated him & slept with him for money. You're essentially a prostitute to him. Men don't have feelings for prostitutes.

I really hope you get help with your daddy issues(not your sugar daddy issues, your real ones)

[yopyopyop]

Isn't this charming, a still recently virgin prostitute who got feelings.

I know you won't care, but you should change your lifestyle, before your lifestyle changes you.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

He knows that if the money dries up, so does your p****. He was cutting his losses.

[Cutenshy]

I like him, he never asked, so how can he be sure.

[asianfreak]

I don't know, but probably you wouldn't be a part of his life for long

[bDizzie]

he got tired of being used for his money?