Why would a guy flirt if he isn't ready for a relationship?

[Baileeboo]

Why would a man flirt with a girl, tease her, smile and laugh, call her darls and darling and act interested. But he says he really likes the girl but isn't ready emotionally or in the head for a relationship yet due to every past girlfriend hurting him and ripping his guts out, and says he can only offer friendship right now?!?

Also if the girl tells him she's willing to wait around for a bit and just be friends until he feels ready but asks him to tell her if he doesn't see a future with her down the line and not to let her wait around for no reason why doesn't he answer?

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+1 y

Just to add that he's a genuinely nice honest guy an not a player, and has really been hurt badly by his ex wife and girlfriends since clearly leaving him having trust issues and being guarded with his heart

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+1 y

He stopped texting and calling, but still flirt in person and get jealous if I mention another guy. It's been 4 months of him not calling or texting but flirting when I see him and his best friend has started talking to me and being nice.

Just recently he has started becoming more shy around me and calling me darls and darling everytime I see him. I stopped contacting him to give him the space he wanted, but text him last wk and he actually replied, when for the past he would just ignore my texts

[asker999]

I am kinda in a similar spot as this guy. The last girl in my life ended things rather poorly so I have a bitter taste towards relationships. I am really not interested in a relationship right now and find myself with women I really don't have much interest in other than fun. If there was a girl that I liked, I would probably keep her at a distance because I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to just use her for a good time. I could see him genuinely liking you and doesn't want to hurt you because you just aren't what he is looking for right now. This might be the case when the timing just isn't right. I know it sucks, it is really sweet that you care about him and want to wait. But if you don't value your time and do what is right for you, then your life is going to suffer and so will your attractiveness. I think you are setting yourself up for a bad fall but I don't think it is too late for you to take charge of your life and go after happiness instead of just this one guy.

[Baileeboo]

I think your spot on with him liking me and keeping me at a distance by not contacting me. He flirts with me in person but has said he's not even interested in just having fun and wants to stay single. Just recently he seems more shy around me and even replying to my texts and has started calling me darling again - is that a good sign?

Would he ever come around and want me back in time, as he's giving me hope by his actions,getting jealous and saying he can only offer 'friendship right now'

[Baileeboo]

He knows I don't truly feel ready for a relationship right now either. I told him I would like something with him in the future when our timing is better and we both feel ready.

Since I text him this he seems more shy, calls me darls or darling and has replied to me text which he hasn't done for 4 months!

I'm not waiting around, just getting on with my life, but will he ever want a proper relationship with me in the future? and is he feeling more 'ready' by his recent actions?

[asker999]

I don't think it would be healthy to count on it. The more time and thought you put into this, the more attached you are going to feel. And when things don't work out, it isn't going to feel good. All of the relationships that I have had that did 'work' were really easy, especially up front. If someone is making a relationship difficult, that is my que to find someone else. I have never had working through issues before a relationship has begun end up working out for me.

[Sheriblossom]

I'm in a similar situation, but basically, the guy wasn't ready for a relationship and said he didn't want to hurt me, etc but 2 days later sends heart emojis and being super sweet and I tell him we can't be just friends if we flirt, and he says " We can be more" but only if I play my cards right towards him, and we hang out and his friends see me with him and he's super sweet towards me.

[bloodmountain1990]

The same can be said with women, which is why I don't flirt with someone if I'm not into them or make it seem like I want a relationship when I'm really looking for something casual.

The problem with leading a person on is you don't know how they will handle it. They could be a psycho and get serious revenge on you. Not saying everyone is like that, but there are cases, you just never know. It goes both ways though.

[Jonny_]

Are you sure he was definitely flirting? I mean if he was flirting but not 'ready for a relationship' it basically means they want to sleep around.

[Baileeboo]

He seems to get shy, calls me darls and darling (which he doesn't do with other girls), laughs at things I say that aren't funny, smiles a lot, looks at me a lot, try to make me laugh, keeps me talking even when he's busy, teases me, gets jealous if I mention another guy etc.

He is adamant he's not looking for anyone else, and doesn't want to sleep around, he's just scared of getting hurt yet again

[Jonny_]

It really depends, some guys will take time to get over a marriage... at the same time I'm very very careful about accepting someones judgement, I know a few guys that girls all seem to think as saints, and they really aren't. They're just able to hide it.

[Baileeboo]

It's as if he likes me, doesn't want to let me go, but doesn't feel ready for anything more right now. Seems like he's keeping me interested until he's ready, but I'm not sure!

Know for a fact he doesn't do one night stands etc and he has been hurt badly by every previous girl in his life, and said his guards went up to protect himself, so he didn't feel ready for a relationship right now

[Baileeboo]

He flirted with me for months before asking for my number, yet after us being together he realized he wasn't ready yet for a relationship as I had a pregnancy scare whilst on the pill. He said he ready liked me but wasn't ready and all he could offer was friendship right now. He has reassured me he needs to stay single to sort himself out. Since he still flirts in person, doesn't text or call me, but recently has started getting more shy and calling me darling etc and replying if I text him

[Anonymous]

He's attracted to you which does not equate to him wanting to date you. Have you ever flirted with someone that you did not want to date or wasn't ready to date? I know I have.

[Baileeboo]

He has dated me for a couple of months. He said he thought he was ready for a relationship but realized that he isn't as he is frightened of getting hurt again and struggles to trust a girl. He said he really likes me and acted like he really did, but can only offer friendship right now

He stopped contacting me but flirts in person and gets jealous if I mention another guy.

Recently he has started responding to my texts and getting shy again with me, calling me darling more.

[Baileeboo]

I'm sure he really likes me and does want to date me again, but he isn't ready for a relationship yet.

It honestly feels like he likes me and probably does want to be with me and flirts to try to keep me interested, and doesn't want to lose me and doesn't want me to walk away and find someone else, but he just isn't ready for a relationship yet due to trust issues etc

[Opinion Owner]

That may be true. Nonetheless, I suggest that you do not wait for this guy. If is unsure of himself, then you should be unsure of him as well. Waiting for someone is very risky, but waiting for someone that doesn't love you or is not in love with you is a greater risk. It's always great to look forward to and plan for tomorrow. Just keep in mind, some plans are subject to change as often as our minds change. Good Luck.