Guys, do you REALLY not get complimented that often?

[Anonymous]

I've often heard guys talk about how they barely get compliments. I've heard guys say they haven't been complimented in YEARS, and that when they do they think about to compliment for days. I get complimented at least a few times a week so I couldn't imagine going years without a compliment, my self esteem would be non-existent.

Sometimes I see really cute guys or I see a guy who's shoes or outfit I like in the hallways but I don't say anything. I mean what the heck am I supposed to do, just walk up to him and say "You're cute"? And then what? I don't want to seem like an awkward creep. I'm also really shy so it's hard for me to talk to people I don't know. But anyway if I see a cute guy I usually just steal glances from a distance.

So guys, how often do you actually get compliments?

[Anonymous]

If I get a few compliments a year, that's a good year for me. If I get one compliment a month, that's an amazing month.

In fact, I've been complimented so few times on my looks, that I can literally remember every occasion. The last time was about a year and a half ago, and this girl called me 'cute'. The time before that was about a year earlier and a girl said I was 'hot'. If a girl compliments me on my looks, I'll remember for years.

Well, guys have just as sensitive self-esteem as girls do. So now do you understand why so many guys seem so miserable. Lack of compliments, numerous rejections, and negative portrayal in the media: it all adds up.

If you go up to a guy and tell him he's cute, you'll make his day or even week or month or year. I'm not even kidding. He won't think you're creepy at all. I remember all the girls who complimented me and none of them seemed creepy to me.

[Asker]

Okay I will make it my mission now to compliment guys more often. I thinks it kind of sad that you guys rarely get complimented.

[InquisitiveMale]

The majority of the compliments I receive are for my demeanor. When complimenting me on my looks, most girls choose to give me indirect compliments. A first time introduction would go something along the lines of "oh, you didn't tell me so and so, was good looking" and things of that sort. A direct compliment on my physical appearance is rare, and when it happens, it's almost always done by complete strangers in passing; like guys whistling at a passing girl; or under the influence of alcohol.

p.s. and if you said "your cute" to a guy in hallway, he's going to smile and appreciate it. Perfect example... a girl sticks her head out of a passing car and yells "nice ass!"... It put a smile on my face and I remember it several years later... everyone likes a compliment.

[Daph81]

I think they really don't get complimented that often.

Girls generally don't compliment guys that easily, because we're worried it might be misinterpreted. So we compliment other girls more than we compliment guys. That's why girls get more compliments, from both genders, than guys. I don't think guys compliment each other the way us girls do. I can't imagine 2 heterosexual guys say to each other "OMG, you look SO great in that suit!" Guy 2: "thanks man, you got great hair!"

[Tellytubby]

Doesn't happen very often. I don't think its expected that girls compliment guys. Its supposed to be the other way round. Our "compliment" is when we get the girl. That's a success.

Ideally, self esteem shouldn't be based on what other people say to you. That's "peer-esteem", rather than "self" esteem really isn't it? Never thought about it that way before but that makes sense. I understand this is maybe a bit harder to do in real life though.

Be careful around people who give a lot of compliments. I have found they are sometimes trying to ingratiate themselves with you for a reason other than really wanting to be your friend. Sometimes this isn't the case though, some people just notice things a lot and like making people feel good.

[martyfellow]

I used to talk like that, because guys rarely get compliemtns rgarless of how wonderful we behave, or look. Most girls aren't accustomed to taking initiative in that way.

I'm in China most of the year now, teaching English, and the Chinese girls, while generally shy in some ways, aren't at all shy about complimenting guys. In their culture few guys would 'take it the wrong way. It's not considered inappropriate for females to show appreciation.

I'm used to that now, so when back in the US, the girls seem even colder than they used to.

[DamnFoxCat]

In my thirty years on this earth I have received a single random compliment from a random older [50's] black lady while walking down the street for lunch at work. She loved my beard [about 9-10 inches long and well formed and cared for] and asked to touch it and said how sexy it was and I'm 5'7" 130 too. And I didn't know how to respond, so all I could awkwardly knew how to respond was ooh thank you. My boss who was with me was a bit put off by it and didn't know how to act even. Personally after that I felt like I was walking on clouds not having to work for a compliment, that wasn't about my work ethic or how I dress but about me.

[koibito]

Once every few weeks I guess. It'd be like why the get-up, going for a interview later? Or bro stuff like, I knew I could trust you. Or simply, Thanks!

I never ever had one of those nice compliments from girls. I don't know if they were thinking about it, but they didn't say it.

The compliment I seek is when I manage to make someone happy. That's all I can get. Helping people and stuff like that.

[SkyrimAddict]

Well, (outside of family) I have had a handful of people tell me I look like Jesus, which I guess is a compliment. I have had three girls (two in middle school and on last semester) compliment me on my eyes. Last time I got my hair cut the women cutting it said I have nice hair. And yesterday a girl I was talking to that I asked out said I was attractive, only took 20 years to hear a women tell me that, lol.

[SkyrimAddict]

If a girl came up and said that to me I would not think she is creepy. Just walk up to the guy and say it and move on. (Unless you want to talk to him or he tries to start a conversation, but since you think he is "cute" would that be a bad thing?) The outfit is easier, just say it in passing. Like it you are walking past a guy say "hey, I like..."

[Asker]

Yeah I will try to put aside my shyness and compliment more guys now. I think its sad you guys receive compliments so rarely.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I get compliments from my wife and kids. Not that I don't appreciate them, but it's not the same as from others, kwim?

When I get them unsolicted from strangers (which IS rare) - they do put a spring in my step

[MrAtticusLebowski]

I'm having a hard time remembering the last time I was complimented. I just doesn't happen to most guys really.

[Janson]

If we're talking about looks, once every few months or so. It's hard to really gauge that, because its not something that happens often

[ironeddie]

Well with the exception of my (male) boss saying "good job"

I would have to say never.

:-)

[Anonymous]

well no only from girls that put me in the friendzone

and I hate it

if you would see how I look you would probably understand

why I don't get compliments about me

[ihatethiswebsite]

Basically never. I've never been complimented by someone my age. Last week some walmart cashier that was like 30 said they liked my hat but before that it's probably been years since some old person complimented me

[Anonymous]

It depends on the guy and how many attractive traits he has. Good looking, funny, athletic, intelligent or successful guys get complimented on it.

[SuitAndTie]

I hardly ever get complimented. If I do it's usually something to do with my personality or behaviour or mannerisms.

[Padcliff]

I can't remember the last time I was complimented on anything.

[DanAG]

What's a compliment?