Having your husband eyeing your hott friend?

[Anonymous]

Even if you knew your husband would never leave you for someone else, would you still not bring your hott friend over to hang out? I have a friend who is way more attractive than me, so i know my husband would be eyeing her the whole time. And i know he would never leave me for her, or do anything sexually with her, but its just the thought of him finding her attractive. And i know my husband thinks tons of women he see's are attractive and i dont mind, but i dont know how i would feel about it being someone i know and hang out with all the time. Anybody got a thought on this?

Updates

+1 y

I guess it would help if i explained. This happened once before where a friend came over and every time i looked over he was looking at her, and he would only respond to the things she said and not anyone else. I felt totally invisible.

[Anonymous]

You don't mind him looking at other attractive women bc you know it would be harder for him to make a connection with them. he wouldn't get the time to actually sit on the idea that he could get someone better than you.
This is why you are affraid to bring your hot friend in the picture. bc with her being around, he would have more chances to realize he actually wants to maybe pursue a relationship with her.
Somewhere in the back of your mind it's even the fear of being betrayed by your hot friend.

I knew a married hot girl. There was this other hot girl (call her X) that was flirting with everyone. The married one said (as a joke), that she is not inviting X to her house bc her husband will leave her. I still think it was true, and even if they were hanging out in the same group, there was this weird tense atmosphere, yet the husband was never interested in her much, even before that episode. He wasn't "eyeing" her. He simply didn't care.

You can't live in the Woods. You can't separate from the group just because there's a hotter one. Your husband should stop doing it. He should understand you are human, you are feeling insecure and it's somehow hurting you. Most likely he doesn't realize you feel this way and if confronted he'll never admit looking at her "that" way. But if he is with you, he should stop.
In relationships there is always a risk for this thing to happen. And you can't prevent it. Living with this fear that your husband might "eye" a hotter one is not the answer to a healthy relationship. There should be communication and understanding between you two.

[FLOGrown93]

We are like a dog in a sense. it doesn't matter who owns us, if we see a person with a steak (attractive woman) we think of nothing but how to get that steak (a**)...now granted we might not take it cause you're the one with the steak we want but we still think about the other options lmao. I just threw us under the bus with that analogy though, I apologize my fellow comrades.

But seriously though all men look from time to time just like all women, it's a habit/natural act so just ignore it. i'm sure he finds you more appealing since he did marry you after all lol. In his eyes, she might not come anywhere close to competing with you.

[harakiri]

=[ This whole scenario makes me sad... I know all guys look and that's normal but I don't think they understand how sad it makes us to see them admiring someone else. Anyways, the only thing you can do is look great yourself the day all three of you hangout. Really put effort into your appearance. Touch him every once in a while, show possession. I hope this wouldn't be too out of the ordinary or else it'll make him wonder what's up lol. I think if you mentioned it to him, you might be putting it in his head that she's hot and everyone thinks so... Which isn't a good idea. Best of luck!! =]

[Asker]

Very much agree!

[cavmanier]

I agree with not mentioning it to him unless it reeeeeeeally bothers you. And it is sad. Honestly there will be more attractive women than the one I end up with one day, but I hope the bond we have beyond looks will make it so I don't care about other pretty women.

[harakiri]

I hope so too cavmanier!

[meemo]

I understand you but I think you should sit and talk to him in a friendly way telling him what you feel and what he thinks you both should do about it. He's your husband after all and he sure wants you to be happy.
Good luck

[sausysue28]

I find it hot actually to c him eye up another makes me hav ideas

[godfatherfan]

Jealousy is a bad emotion to have. it is a shame. We are guy, we like to look. We are not looking because we want to run to that person, or be with that person more. WE look because that is how we are wired. if he is a gentleman he will do it in a non obvious way. As long as you get the benefits of him getting all worked up you shouldn't have a problem. he chooses to be with you. you are the one he wants. When I was married I would encourage my wife to go out with her friends. Told her to check out all the guys she wants, as long as she doesn't touch and she takes it out sexually on me.

[Asker]

Yes, i would love for my husband to get sexually excited from looking at another woman, and then come have sex with me. That basically means, lets say she had nice boobs, he's going to get the urge to have sex after looking at her boobs, but then instead of having sex with that girls boobs, you're going to go have sex with someone who doesn't even have what got you that boner in the first place. So i'd assume he'd be thinking about her boobs the whole time considering thats why we're here in the first place. Get real dude.

[godfatherfan]

you keep making it about the other person. You wanted a real answer. I am telling you how guys think. And sorry to tell you but yes, once and a while, in a long term relationship, the guy is thinking of someone else while screwing you. not all the time but once in a while. fantasy is normal. But instead of being happy that he chose you, that he only wants to have sex with you, you make it about the other person. we look and a physical thing takes place. that is it. guys don't usually get that wrapped up in it. Sorry if the truth hurts. And don't ask him because no guy in real life is going to admit to ever thinking of someone else, we aren't stupid. But keep believing what you like sweetheart. I am not saying it maliciously, I am just giving you the truth

[Red_Arrow]

If you KNOW that he would not leave you and not do anything sexually with her, then what are you worried about? I imagine he would be thrilled with your "gift" of having the eye candy over. And you know that nothing will come of it. I do not see a downside. Unless what you know is not actually true, that he would wander.

[Asker]

Because it has nothing to do with cheating. I'm not worried about him cheating. It's the feeling i get from it, thats the reason i don't want it to happen. It gives me a weird feeling that i dont like, knowing that every time she comes around she's got his attention the whole time, and that's all he's paying attention to. Its just weird thinking about my husband finding my friends attractive, like now i have to compete for my husbands attention/affection when she's around.

[Red_Arrow]

Then actually he would be "cheating" a little, in that when she is around, he is not paying attention to you at all. Guys will look and admire but that does not have to take away from the relationship with their wives. I will look and admire when I see someone that attractive. But I will not ignore my wife. It was my wife who said if I didn't look at good looking women, it would mean I had lost my drive and without my drive I would not be interesting to her. (As in if I did not have that drive I would not be sexually "chasing" her.)

If he is faithful to you, in mind as well as physically, you really should not be upset that he admires female sexuality. If he didn't, what would your relationship be?

[Asker]

I guess thats the problem then, its happened before that a friend was invited over and i literally felt invisible because every single time i looked over, he was looking at her. And when a conversation was taking place it seemed like he would only respond to her when she said something and that anything i said he would just stay quiet. So i figure its probably going to be like that again, especially since this friend is a lot better looking than the last.

[Red_Arrow]

You need to communicate to him what you have observed and how it makes you feel. Maybe he sees it differently, or maybe he did not realize how it seemed. Then either he fixes his actions, or you can then worry about attractive women around him.

[Anonymous]

You're insecure about her and know you have no reason to be, but it's an irrational jealous feeling. You can't help it. At least, unlike some women, you're not trying to find a way to blame him for your irrational feelings.

Just accept them.

[cavmanier]

Given:
Hetero men like attractive women.
Her friend is much more sexually attractive than her.
(Supposedly)

You think it's that irrational that he would eye her? Or you think it's irrational that she cares about him eyeing her?

[Asker]

It's basically that it pisses me off when my husband married ME, and we are hanging out with friends and doing things as a couple, as a team, its supposed to be me and him, and then i look over and he's only looking at her and talking to her and paying ZERO attention to me because there's a shiny new toy in the room. And the reason i dont like to bring the hott ones around is because i know he wouldn't do it if she was hott. Its not about being insecure, its more about getting bumped down to second best.

[Asker]

*I know he wouldn't do it if she was ugly, is what i meant to say.

[bluehen46]

Men look at porn all the time and dont leave or cheat on their wives. Now for decency he should not make it obvious

[ThisAndThat]

First, I need to be sure your friend is really as hot as you said she is. Could you send her over to my place please?

[Asker]

Yeah keep her occupied so she doesn't come to my house lol

[yawst]

Guys who are in a relationship train themselves not to look at other girls. Consider this a test of your boyfriend's resolve. How I see it.

[yawst]

Never been in one myself. I've been told that by other guys.

[Anonymous]

How hot is your friend? Are we talking just face-wise or body wise? Has he ever seen her in a bikini?

[Asker]

She's got it all. He's never seen her at all but she dresses pretty revealing so i dont think it would be hard to tell she had the face and the body.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, okay. So they've never met. So sounds like you'd definitely not want him to see her in a bikini then! LOL! Is she more about a fabulous ass or a fabulous chest?

[DIRT-KING]

You sound pretty insecure!