Best insults you’ve ever heard?

softhoney

Xper 7 Age: 27

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Most Helpful Opinions

glennos89 Follow
Yoda Age: 36

+1 y

My father on a day the wind was strong...

Are you sure it's safe for you to go outside?
Make sure the wind isn't going to carry you away then

me as a kid : why would that happen?

My dad... matchsticks aren't capable of flying so make sure you hold on tight to everything you can hold on

Me: 🤦🏻‍♂️

1

0 Reply

Most Helpful Opinions

Wallythewalrus Follow
Xper 6 Age: 32 , mho 48%

+1 y

"You could die in a car accident tomorrow and nobody would care! The world would be a better place"! My wife said this to me.
"I wish you were never born"! Courtesy of my own mother.
"Mommy said the mailman has a bigger dick than you, Wally". Straight from my daughters mouth.
Sometimes I wonder what keeps me going.

1

3 Reply
- DubiousIntentions
  
  +1 y
  You must like insults?
  
  Reply
- Wallythewalrus
  
  +1 y
  @DubiousIntentions Like them? No, but I've come to accept them in my miserable existence. It's about the only time my family talks to me.
  
  Reply
- softhoney
  
  +1 y
  Are you serious
  
  Reply

Angxl3120 Follow
Xper 7 Age: 21 , mho 49%

+1 y

"Are you a apple , because i dont like them" not the best but made me laugh

2

0 Reply

DubiousIntentions Follow
Explorer Age: 30 , mho 52%

+1 y

These work for me. 😂😊

5

0 Reply

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What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

The-Stud Follow
Xper 7 Age: 29

+1 y

"I was having a great day.. until you texted"
"Nothing brightens up the room like your absence"
My most used one would be :

" What's the difference between a beer and your opinion"?
I asked for a beer

2

3 Reply
- Static_In_The_Attic
  
  +1 y
  Thanks for the smile! These are great.
  
  Reply
- The-Stud
  
  +1 y
  Really? I am glad it did! 👍
  
  Reply
- DubiousIntentions
  
  +1 y
  😯😥😅
  
  Reply
u
DryGermanGuy Follow
Master Age: 47 , mho 33%

+1 y
1.1K opinions shared on Food & Beverage topic.

I always liked the sword-fighting insults of Monkey Island:

1

0 Reply
Summeroflove Follow
Master Age: 30 , mho 41%

+1 y

Most of the time. What people say about you is what they are saying about themselves. It’s projection. Not always….. They know who they are.

1

0 Reply
Billlewis Follow
Master Age: 62 , mho 36%

+1 y

A woman told me that she didn't even know that a guy could have a penis as small as mine. A guy I used to work for asked me if I remembered my first blowjob. I said yes, and he said, 'What'd it taste like?'

0

0 Reply
Static_In_The_Attic Follow
Master Age: 44 , mho 40%

+1 y
1.4K opinions shared on Food & Beverage topic.

Some people are as sharp as a tack, you are as sharp as a marble.

1

0 Reply
ChiTown33 Follow
Master Age: 50

+1 y
1.7K opinions shared on Food & Beverage topic.

When I'm told I'm cheap i ALWAYS smile and say, "thank you"! It's not an insult to me, it's a compliment.

1

0 Reply
Andres77 Follow
Master Age: 49

+1 y
1.1K opinions shared on Food & Beverage topic.

Do need some money? So you can get a ticket for the clue bud.

2

1 Reply
- Andres77
  
  +1 y
  Clue bus…🫣
  
  Reply
love_conquers_lust Follow
Yoda Age: 40

+1 y

Do you like donuts? You sure look like you do.

1

0 Reply
Z1pTD Follow
Xper 7 Age: 25

+1 y

"You're so white I could slap you on a bagel and no one would notice you aren't cream cheese"

1

0 Reply
bananathunder Follow
Guru Age: 36

+1 y

you should try to eat some makeup so maybe you can be pretty on the inside too...

1

0 Reply
Surely Follow
Guru Age: 69

+1 y

That was the best compliment that I had all day!

0

0 Reply
LavLavLuv Follow
Master Age: 27

+1 y
2.7K opinions shared on Food & Beverage topic.

“Gucci caligula” 🤣

3

0 Reply

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What are the most creative/interesting insults you'd heard?

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