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Why friendzone us in the first place? If you think we are ugly why not just say bye and be done with it? Why lie? Be real. You don't want to be the ugly guys friend. Plus by friendzoning us you are being fake. A guy who has been friendzoned isn't a true friend.
A friend-zoned guys is a friend to many women. I don't mind being an unattractive guy's friend---I simply won't be in a romantic relationship with him.
And you're friend-zoned because many women value your friendship. They love you as a person but not in a romantic way.
Why is this so difficult to understand?
@RationalLioness
Because many men never seek female friendships in the first place. Cutting such a man off when you don't wish to return his romantic offers is appropriate behavior and what the man in question would prefer.
Attempting to retain him as a platonic friend (if that is not his desire) is self serving and equally exploitive.
Lol I don't know about other people but where I come from friends' don't talk to other friends' about "omg he is so unattractive I had to put his ass in the friendzone hahahahaha"
@gray_sailor If a lot of guys DON'T, then your last statement is hypocritical. If a lot of guys befriend a girl with the only intention being that they want to date her, THAT is self-serving and exploiting.
And no. To many of us, cutting off a friendship that we value even if we don't harbor anything romantic is foolish. Not all men prefer that as well.
@Kshppatel: Neither do a lot of women. But if a guy friend ASKS his gal friend out and wants to know the reason why she rejected him, there is no reason for him to be hurt.
@RationalLioness
A lot of guys
foolishly,
wrongly,
ignorantly,
errantly,
mistakenly,
BELIEVE that the acts associated with friendship are the beginnings of an act of courtship.
There actions are not disingenuous so much as they are ill-advised and unlikely to succeed.
Helping such a person to learn of the fundemental misjudgment they are making is decent and kind and entirely what is called for.
And a lot of guys do it purposely to pursue a main goal. It's evident by some of the questions on here--how some guys will ask if they should befriend a girl first before making a move. If you have zero intention on being her friend truly, simply ask her out then and move on. Don't befriend her which makes her think that she has found another awesome person to hang around and then drop the bomb about wanting to be with her. That's selfish if those guys knowingly plan this. A lot of them do.
@RationalLioness
Yes, I see those questions too.
When I read them what I see them saying is:
"Is this how this works?"
"Am I doing this right?"
"I have so little experience, I'm not fit to judge."
"Is this the way that worked for other guys?"
"What am I getting wrong?"
One thing has become blatantly obvious to me.
Friendzoning tracks with inexperience.
(And inexperience correlates with age.)
Older men don't do this. We do experience unrequited love but are not so clueless about how relationships are formed.
Older women have also gained wisdom. They understand that miscommunication lies at the heart of most romantic conflict. (The conflict here being whether there is a romance or not.)
@RationalLioness I see you have commented on a few questions and let me promise you, most men don't care about female friendship, a lot of men are just to shy (most don't want to date you they just want to have sex with you and are unsure about how to go about it) to directly ask her out. What can we get from a female friendship that we can't get better in a male friendship. If a guy values friendship with you above sex with you, take it as a huge insult, and he still probably won't value your friendship that much.
Inexperience does not correlate with age.
As for the guys not caring about friendship with women, mature rational men don't discriminate between genders for friends. I think this is how most people operate.
"mature rational men don't discriminate between genders for friends" yes, but most women don't make as good a friend as men do to other men, and the whole point is, if you are even marginally attractive, they will want sex from you more than they want friendship from you, other men have no sexual value to them thus they value the friendship with other men. @RationalLioness
Amen! I would've never had the balls to write this truth but you hit the nail on the head!
@LaBellaNena408 it is funny at how most women use the bull line''looks don't matter to me'' and the bull line'' most of the time when we friendzone a guy it is because of his personality.'' lol, what a load of bull. I am glad this girl was honest.
@LaBellNena408 truth hurts lol.
@LaBellaNena408
i1127.photobucket.com/.../...f.com-gif-maker_3.gif It's hard being unattractive
But then please do not get angry at a guy when they become bitter and can't get their girl or if they get prostitutes. And I mean that in a serious, non-cocky way. Even ugly people need to get laid.
If they choose to go the prostitute route, more power to them. But many women don't want men who have been with prostitutes. So it can be a catch 22.
And there is no need for them to be bitter. This is common sense. If a guy finds me repulsive, I don't expect him to approach me. Guys can do the same.
Mmmm... I must of pressed the anon button by accident. @RationalLioness it's not really a catch 22, it's a win. If I go on this take, bottom line, guy ain't getting any so why not get a prozzie. And like me for example, I've had several prozzies but any girl I talk to only knows that I have had a few "casual flings". That's my journey and I can't change the past (I'm also a firm believer in white lies) then the bitterness thing: yes there may be no need to be bitter, but a guy who is never invited to the party because of who he is, hurts like a bitch. After a while you don't want to go the party anyway because you already know the outcome. Replace party with love and intimacy, and it becomes a sad story.
A blunt truth finally!
And kinda shows mentality of women's too by the way
meh =))
Lol! .. Expected!
PLOTTWIST: what if your brother thinks romantically about you though ]:D
incest mode on :))
BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL... I GOT THE POWER!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh7lp9umG2I
Being friendzoned is better than a rejection that has no response from the girl.
You went out to get fruits and bought vegetables. How is that better? LOL
@spaceshuttle you might get to know her better and she might introduce a friend to you or something?
I get your point. But, in the above scenario, I want her not her friend.
@spaceshuttle she might not be the person, you think she would be.
Your crying over spilt milk if you can't deal with loss.
Yeah, people get that a lot after getting rejected or friendzoned. Anyways, I do get your point, how being friendzoned will open other options for you. Let's rest the case.
Desperate much?
You would rather have some female lead you on and use you, that to have her tell you flat out that she is not attracted to you in a physical way?
@Hal2002 you lack gut instinct.
I don't lack gut instinct, I know when a female is not interested. I just prefer to be rejected outright, than to lie to myself that if I stick around the other person will change their mind.
I'm with you about the necessity of finding your partner physically attractive.
Two questions, if I may.
1: What do you consider behaving like a jerk?
2: Do you hope to have children some day?
Maybe the reason you don't find them attractive is because they are nice to you and will do everything you say. Just saying.
I don't know who DRed you for that but that is one scenario that happens to many women. It's not the fact that the guy was "too nice". He just wasn't aggressive/passionate enough to go after what he wanted (or he could be walked over).
I feel bad for those guys.
"We are doing this just because you maybe are sort of ugly, or not our type or we simply don't find you attractive."
Sorry to say this but you are not pretty enough to speak for all girls like that. I'm sure those things apply to you personally, but you should replace the word 'we' with 'i'. I don't mean to hurt your feelings by saying this, just bringing you down to earth.
1) Just because you don't find her pretty does not mean she isn't. I consider you a pussy because you said this to her while Anonymous though you may not consider yourself a coward.
2) What she says is truth. Every wo/man that friend-zones does so because the man is either unattractive, doesn't have the personality she wants, or is too close to her. That is not a lie. You're just stupid. Otherwise, the wo/man would have simply dated the wo/man that was friend-zoned.
you're even less pretty than she is, so you have even less right to be speaking for "every wo/man". not saying you/her are wrong about why women friendzone men. i have no idea why women friendzone men.
And you grow more stupid with each comment you make... lol. Pathetic. You have no idea because you're stupid. That's okay. :)
True, but remember most guys don't really care about female friendship, if a guy is friends with you, he at one time or another wanted to fuck you (almost always).
If that's true, that says something really pathetic about guys. But I think it's different for men.
If by men you mean men over 40 then maybe, most men get along far better with other men and their desire to fuck a women (pretty much any women that is even slightly good looking) is far stronger than their desire for female friendship. The only reason most men are still "friends" with the women is in hope of a future hook up, if it's any other way the man probably has very low testosterone.
So, dudes that get friendzoned are just ugly, and because they're ugly they don't deserve to date you, much less be in your presence is what you're saying? Wow, know wonder they get so bitter.
Yeah, and girls who complain that guys "only want hot, bitchy women" are absolutely no different. Get over yourself.
It's sad that this must be reiterated because it's truly common sense... lol. Spot on.
The only way it can be common sense is if it is continually communicated.
Common (in this usage) does not mean ubiquitous.
Common means shared.
For something to be our "shared sense", we have to first share it, no?
It's common sense because it is logical. If people are too stupid to get it, it doesn't make it any less rational.
Per your comment, many women TELL these guys why they don't want to date them... and many guys are still unable to get it. Whose fault is that? Most certainly not the women who clearly communicated the reason as to why they rejected the guys (and vice versa).
Common sense does not derive from logic.
Logic is a branch of philosophy that deals with the truth or falsity of statments.
Common sense is the name given to a shared cultural understanding. There is no requirement that common sense is either logical or internally consistent. The ONLY requirement is that it is a perspective SHARED by a group of people.
The charge that someone lacks common sense, is a claim that the person either does not possess or is outright rejecting that shared knowledge.
www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/common%20sense
You're wrong. Especially since not everyone will understand the cultural nuances of any given culture. If THAT were true, then there would be no such thing as common sense.
It DOES come from logic. If you're burned by a hot stove, you learn through experience and trial/error NOT to do it again. People who continue to do this have no sense, feel no pain, or they are masochists.
Well if a guy goes through all the trouble after many months of trying to know somebody, that is not very fair to not at least go on one date. Just to friend zone and waste 6 months of your life
Well I'm pretty sure this was common sense. But since I've been friend-zoned more then enough times I'm just considering wearing a bag on my head or at least wear a hood to cover my face so I'm not hurting any girl's eyes with my face
what if she tells you she finds you very attractive? is there a difference between over all attractiveness and sexuall attractiveness?
I think every guy who gets friendzoned knows on some level that the girl is not sexually attracted to him.
That's not the only reason for it. It could be because of his personality or he's too close to her for her to consider anything romantic.
I felt that when I was friends zoned it's true lol crushing but true all girls seem to care about these days, I been there for her whenever she needed it and then she rejected me but I'm still there for but they don't consider how much that hurts especially if they ever talk about another guy
@RationalLioness most women would not friendzone a good looking guy that is ''too nice, aka-a pushover.''
Who cares, there are 3.5 billion to choose from.
By a certain age you should know if your appealing to opposite sex or not.
to the*