What Depression Feels Like

[lemonlimetime]

I know, I know, this is my THIRD myTake on my little buddy depression. But it's a big part of my life and to be honest it's kind of hard not to talk about it when you're really struggling with it. So here's a myTake on what depression feels like. Enjoy.

Depression Feels Like...

You're being kidnapped by an anonymous culprit. No one can see him. No one can hear him. Only you can feel him. He wakes you up in the middle of the night and takes you to an ugly place only you can see. A place of nothing. A place of horrors, of nightmares, and nothing but pure torture.

You're losing a game of Tug-Of-War. You're barely holding on by your fingertips. One wrong move, one weak moment, and you'll fall on your face. All you can do is pull, and pull, and pull, and pull, and try not to give up. And although there are times when giving up seems easy, you stay strong and fight through it.

You're walking in an empty, dark forest. You can't see the light at the end, only fog. The only voices you hear are the ones that are telling you you're worthless and telling you to quit. You're all alone. Looking for someone who you can love forever, but still finding only fog. The trees block you from looking at what's beyond the forest. And your entire life surrounds around darkness and sadness.

You're buried underground. But no one can hear you. No one can see you. No one can understand what you're going through down there. You're the only one who knows what it's like down there. No one will listen to your cries for help. You're all alone.

You're falling down an endless hole. The only thing visible is dark and despair. But you're scared. Terrified, to be exact. Terrified about what comes next. What's at the bottom of this pit? Fear plays a big role in your life. But when the time comes when you do reach the bottom there are people to catch you. And who decides to stick around and catch you- those are the ones who truly love you.

[PeachSunset]

This is so deep. I've gone through a rough patch of time and was pretty depressed. But lucky for me my best friend is so understanding as well as my family, so I had so much people to cry to for help. They supported me and were always there to lift me up when I fell. I definitely know what it feels like, it also feels like you're in a maze, trying to find a way to replace or even dismiss the feelings, thoughts, emotions depression gives to you but it feels like there's no end, no light at the end of the tunnel, just a dark room filled with nothingness and no real purpose to anything, no purpose to life, to happiness, etc. But i promise you, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and with every bad experience comes a good one. There will be bad times, but good ones await you, even with something as harsh and as horrible as depression. I also hate how arrogant some people are, they tell me to brush it off and that "99% of life happens between your ears so if you believe in happiness its all going to be ok" -NOT TRUE.
I can't tell you how to control your life, or how to stop this horrible illness, not even I know, it left me naturally. I won't tell you to stop the negative thoughts, it isn't that easy. All I can tell you is that it will get better. I loved how you referred to depression as a person, a thing. Depression is like our dark side filled with all our negative thoughts and possible evil that has escaped and is trying to control us. I also love all the poetic descriptions. I love this take, thank you. I really do hope you get through this as soon as possible. Stay strong :-)

[lemonlimetime]

Thanks so much! I really appreciate it :)

[thetundrawolf]

It is pain that you enjoy and do not want to go away.

It is also demonic. In dealing with deliverance, I have come to see that almost all mental illnesses are caused by malevolent forces at work against us. Thankfully, these forces are all but powerless against almighty God.

I used to take medications, many of them, for my issues. One day I lost my job and could not afford them, I lost all hope. I swore I'd not do that again, so I have been drug- free for 15 years now. I could not have done it with Gods help.

If you want to truly know what is going on behind the scenes, here is a good video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10oaihoGSdI

I have seen this guy and had him pray for me I got my sense of smell back and been delivered from things. Many things are spiritual, but the modern world is afraid to believe that, even Christians are terrified of the demon realm. But the truth is they are powerless against someone who loves and knows Jesus Christ.

[lemonlimetime]

Wow well I'm glad you're doing better :)

[thetundrawolf]

Thank you! It has been a hard road fighting depression without mess but it is so worth it.

[Jlawson118]

I have to say that this actually hit me. Now I have bad anxiety but sometimes it can cause spurts of depression, times where I don't see the point in living. Times where I just want to lay in bed in the dark and just let the world go by without me. It's horrible and I really do just feel sorry for those who have to go through that full time and more than I do because even just the little bit I experience here and there is bad enough.

But something I try to get into my head is that you've only got one life. Live it. Make the most of it. Make amazing memories and just forget about bad things because it is your life.

Something I've come to realise lately is that I've wasted too many years letting people get me down and ruin my life. I haven't lived a day of my life until recently when I went away to Amsterdam with some friends last month, we went to this drum and bass music festival and it was amazing. I finished the whole festival and the whole trip away with such a buzz and it taught me that I need to do more things like that

[lemonlimetime]

Yeah I always try to tell myself that there's no point sleeping through life waiting to be happy.

[Jlawson118]

And that's a good thing to tell yourself as well. I mean a lot of the time sleeping helps the pain go away and sometimes I just do it. But I know there'll be a time in the future when I might be happy and I'll look back and regret wasting those days. Just like I already sit here now and regret wasting time.

It's scary to think that next July I'll be 20 and yet it doesn't feel like I've been alive all that long at all. Time seems to be getting faster and faster and I can imagine another 20 years will just fly by even quicker. Therefore knowing this just makes me want to live my life and enjoy it whilst I still can

[lemonlimetime]

Exactly. Especially with school arriving all I can remember from the summer is my house and it feels like just yesterday was the last day of school. Creepy if you ask me.

[Ozanne]

I've had depression before, but not like this. I had the kind where I stayed in bed for about 22 hours a day if I could, only getting up for work, and even then called in sick many days just to stay in bed. I knew I was fine otherwise, I just had no spirit to get up and deal with life.

I do know that a ton of reading and writing helped get me out of it. If writing a Take on it helps then do it, and you do it well, by the way!

There are different forms of depression and someone out there might have it and not even know it (like me about five years ago). To talk about it and make it something known to others helps let them know that it's not always the doom and gloom suicide type of depression, but a hard sinking feeling like the world is against you and maybe in some cases you don't even want to deal with it at all.

[lemonlimetime]

That's very true. Depression is different for everyone. It can be scary, it can be empty, or it can just be plain gloomy. And thanks by the way :)

[Anonymous]

When I was in my teenage years I dealt with depression (and yeah my physician diagnosed it as such) it just felt like I was in a constant grey fog. I just felt massive isolation and I could see nothing but just an empty void of grey. When I was little and growing up I had always been an extrovert and had an easy time making friends and didn't like being alone too much. Then I started feeling depressed after awhile and constantly put myself in isolation as a type of punishment for myself. I've been able to move past my depression but now I actually feel the most comfortable and confident when I'm alone and in isolation. I still am friendly and charming with people but whenever I'm given the option to spend time with others I just choose to be alone just because I've become so used to it for almost the last 10 years that I now crave the feeling of isolation when I used to hate it.

[lemonlimetime]

That's somewhat the same deal for me. I used to want to make friends and I used to talk to people, but none of them ever really wanted to be friends with me. I was a lonely extrovert, and now I'm just a lonely introvert.

[heywhisper]

I have had depression most of my life. I was sexually abused as a child and mentally abused by a family member along with being bullied in school. Two years ago I got on medication and it really helped for awhile. I have stopped taking meds and I have noticed my anxiety is a thousand times worse than it has ever been. My depression comes and goes. I was depressed for a whole month then the following month I feel okay. Never fully 100% happy, just okay.

[lemonlimetime]

That's very sad to hear... I hope you get better!

[KempisMC]

This is a romanticized and fantasized idea of depression. Or described in a peotic imagery trying to explain it in metaphors.
I have had depression and suffered from anxiety disorder for close to 40 years. Spent 2 years not leaving the house.

It was hell , it felt more like empty and no caring to do anything.

There were fears , no energy, no drive, flat , sadness, gloom , not wanting to live , apathy and despair , hiding within and shutting down.
I know its not the same for everyone,

[Fionna19]

Well written my take. I think I described it very well being a demon that u can't control, a little ago while I was depressed but I got over it so I'm all good. But seriously though u are such a good writer!

[lemonlimetime]

Aw thank you so much :) and I'm really glad you're doing better!

[ejx629]

A description both dark and beautifully written. I only have mild depression myself but even I can see the accuracy.
May you always have a light to lead you through your darkness.

[lemonlimetime]

Thank you so much :) I hope you get better as well

[LuckyLittleLucy]

It's so sad people have to suffer like this, but good on you for sharing! You're so brave to speak out, good for you!

[lemonlimetime]

Thank you :)

[LuckyLittleLucy]

Any time! I used to get really depressed but I've really tried to turn things around. It really does get better I promise

[lemonlimetime]

That's good to know :) and I'm glad you're getting better

[LuckyLittleLucy]

Thank you!

[Random_chick_2384]

This was really creepy to read. I only could get through some of it. 😳

[lemonlimetime]

Sometimes the truth is creepy V (ツ) V

[Random_chick_2384]

Yes crap gets creepy in a world as strange as this.

[GreatnessPersonified]

That first picture is exactly what I perceive depressiong and other mental illnesses as.
It's a demon on your back and such.
I know people with them and it's terrible to watch helplessly while they fall, only praying for them.

[James0]

Is there any hope 😢😢😢 will wait for part two hopefully has remedies like ice cream 🍨

[lemonlimetime]

Of course there's hope!

[James0]

Waiting :o will there be little soon to this long journey

[Prettykangaroos]

This was all too real for me... nice to hear that I'm not alone, though.

[YourFutureEx]

Thank god I'm not dealing with this anymore.

[lemonlimetime]

Well it's good to know you don't have to ;)