How I Got Over Rape And Moved On With Life

[Anonymous]

I was sexually assaulted on two occasions 19 months ago, and I am writing this to all victims of sexual assault; it does get easier. It just takes time. I suffer with PTSD and my sex life is basically ruined, but with the help of family/friends and therapy. I WILL get better. The past 19 months I have overdosed twice, selfharmed, developed a drink dependancy and scrubbed myself with bleach until it burned, severley. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that no matter how bad it gets it will get better, follow this list:

• Know it was NOT your fault. This is a must! Let yourself know, no matter what you were wearing, how much you had drunk, yes means yes and no means no.


• Confide in a family member or friend. I told my mother the day after the second one happened, she didn't care, even when I was in a hospital bed from bleeding out or overdosing. But after i told my father 6 months ago, he helped me get counselling and didn't judge me.


• Seek counselling, consider taking medication with your therapy.


• DONOT trun to drink or drugs, take it from someone who knows. You end up freezing on a winters night on a park bench at 2 am with a bottle of vodka, and nobody there to care because everyone tried and they eventually gave up on you.


• Wait until you feel right to engage in physical contact or sexual activites.


• Tell anyone you live with about your flashbacks/nightmares. My father helped me through my flashbacks and night terrors a lot, he often understood when I had break downs or relapses after a horrid nights sleep or a bad day.


• Ask your family to find out more about how to help someone after sexual assault.


• Try to focus on the positives of your life. You always have someone who cares about you, and an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, you're never alone. Think about those wonderful people who help you with the struggles of life.


• Remember sweetie, THINGS DO GET BETTER!
  

[Anonymous]

I was raped 3 years ago I saw a counselor but I'm still I'm counseling after being verbally abused by another guy a year after I was raped

And before I was raped I Met guys who treated me like shit

The funny part is people assume I allowed the verbal abuse when I did not

I never dated those guys who verbally abused me but it took a toll on me

In fact when I stood up for myself that's what Pissed those guys off more

People like to assume that hurt vulnerable women like to jump into relationships but that's not true at all. Years Before i was raped I have only been in 2 short term relationships and the guys were nice but my other ex turned out to be a jerk and dumped me.

I'm single now and I wonder if I will ever have a relationship again but it does not matter because I'm focused on my happiness

[ryan33]

Have you ever had sex after your rape? I heard some scary stories and dont know if i could date a woman who was raped.

[myTake Owner]

you're so brave sweetheart, I admire your bravery, stay strong x

[Opinion Owner]

@ryan33 yes I had sex a year after I was raped
And it's men like you who are the reason why I do not want to tell any guy that I was raped ever again

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you mytake owner it's hard

[mikemx55]

@ryan33

[LoloWaye]

@ryan33 That was so rude and insensitive.

[ryan33]

Nope I wanted advice because I dated a girl who was rape and she started freaking out when we had sex and i had no idea what to. We tried again and the same thing happen and she broke up with me. I was not trying to hurt you and if i did i am very sorry, my wording was really bad and I do feel like a dick now. The scary stories I mention was one were a lady after getting raped just started having sex with random men she meet and said other victims told her they did the same. Again I'm NOT trying to say you are broken or undatable I just wanted to know how does one move on and is it possible to have a normal sex life. I am really really sorry and wished that i had explain this better in my comment. Because of my experience I said i wouldn't date a rape victim when in fact I should have ask how to. Sorry a million times I really didn't mean to be disrespectful or insensitive.

[Opinion Owner]

@ryan33 I Have Been to therapy

[ryan33]

@LoloWaye wasn't trying to be but it came off that way. I should have explain myself better, I had a bad experience with one and read unfortunate stories from others. I genuinely wanted to know how to have a relationship with a victim and if they ever can have a normal sex life. My wording of the comment was wrong and I'm really sorry. Fuck I feel really bad now.

[Opinion Owner]

@ryan33 It's ok

[utopianromance]

I'm sorry to hear that. I was raped when I was 9 years old (or just turned 10). I repressed it to preserve my masculinity, or I thought that's what I was doing. I was angry and I thought I was insane, I played football like the water boy (or like clay Mathews) and joined the infantry after high school. I didn't have a girlfriend in high school even though I had opportunities, I felt like I wasn't good enough or something like that. I have only recently started talking about it. I think its worse for men, especially in the verge of puberty.

[Anonymous]

I was raped with a stick and peed on in a park when I was 15. I've never told anyone, not the cops, my parents, I've hinted to it with my Husband but don't talk about it and even now have trouble calling it rape, I don't know. That was over 13years ago now. I knew it was better to just push past it then to have people blame me for it. As far as the law goes it sucks when it comes to rape. I am sooo sorry you are going through this, have you ever contacted somewhere like the Laural House? There are ways to get through this and people you can lean on there. We do a walk a mile in her shoes thing every year to raise money for them.

[LovelyComputerVirus]

I was raped a little over a year ago and I still have night terrors, I go to therapy and stuff and it makes all the difference. My parents are urging me to break up with my boyfriend because "I need to focus on myself" but he's the only one that will talk to me when I wake up crying in the middle of the night.

[zack1009]

Message me?

[LovelyComputerVirus]

@zack1009 why?

[zack1009]

Just want to talk

[Bluemax]

I am very sorry that you were hurt. I am very pleased that you are working with a therapist and have supportive people who will help you through.

I hope that there are sunnier slopes in your future.

[RubisitaMamasita]

This was good. I tried to go into therapy but I couldn't afford it. It was fucking hard. That's Kind of why I got really interested in becoming a child counselling psychologist. Having different experiences it's easier to relate you know. It happened when I was 15 so 4 years ago. (I'm 19) But you still get catcalled daily and shit and you get that same feeling and you see it again. I don't drink as often anymore but it feels damn good when I do.

[skeptic007]

stuff like this always bothers me but truth is I have no idea what to say, I understand what happened, but I don't understand the emotional toll it takes out of someone

[myTake Owner]

It makes you feel cheap, dirty and used. You don't want a man to go near you ever again tbh

[skeptic007]

makes me sad cause I wonder how many girls I've approached and thought where cute
and all they saw was danger when I was around ughhh

[RedThread]

I'm sorry that this happened to you. Nobody can take away your dignity and worth. I'm glad you have a support structure in place now. Keep up the fight and don't forget that you're beautiful inside and out ☺️

[croxy]

I hope things is going better and I'm sorry you had to go through this, I'm not gonna lie and say I know how you feel because I don't, but I understand how fucked up the whole situation is and how wrong it is.

[Princessofpersia]

I am do sorry this happned to u. I believe you are being very mature and helping urself to heal well. 😚😚😚😚

[Araya]

Completely agree. I've never been raped and I feel bad for any wo/man who has. I hope that most go ahead and get a rape kit done though. I heard that many opt out because it can have them relive the rape and I understand that.

[abundantlyrich]

It takes a person with strong will to get over this darkness of theirs.

[EnigmaticExquisite]

Nice MyTake, Thanks for this 🙂

[Anonymous]

Stop attention seeking, you don't get PTSD from being raped, for a start you have to have suffered a traumatic experience to get that. It would have to be a little more serious then rape

[Araya]

What foolishness. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can happen whenever someone is in a traumatic situation... war or rape or even pregnancy.

You sound like you have too many dead brain cells.

[myTake Owner]

Wow, you really are one pathetic human being. Rape is the worst thing to happen to anyone, I have to relive it every day of my life

[myTake Owner]

I shared this My Take to help anyone who has gone through what I have not for mindless opinions like yours, if you had any idea how draining it is on anyone you'd truly understand. I respect your opinion but it truly ruins every ounce of respect you have for yourself, I live in fear of seeing him again, my PTSD has been diagnosed by health professionals, so I don't need foolish 'keyboard warriors' telling me what mental health issues I have.

[avibarrister]

@Araya you are showing foolishness

[Araya]

@avibarrister How stupid can you be? There are reported cases of women having this disorder when they give birth and the lasting effects of women I can't post links though I wish I could,

Both of you are clearly uneducated and an insult to men for even being allowed to breath due to your severe ignorance.

[RedRobin]

Rape IS traumatic. It's a serious violation of your privacy.

[shortandsexy]

You get PTSD from rape! I too am a sexual harassment victim and it doesn't have to be brutal!

[milightman]

Okay, if you're trying to troll, this is HIGHLY inappropriate. We get it, you want to go online to intentionally piss people off on your downtime for pleasure. It's apparently funny to you, and you're seeking a reaction. But your I don't give a fuck mentality, nobody wants it. Get over yourself and learn to put your ego in check. If you don't care about how others feel, or belittle others emotions, then don't communicate with human beings. See how long you can last. If you can't, then you're fucking weak. Which is why you want attention, in the worst way possible.

[babu_001]

One question, why didn't you go to the Police?

[myTake Owner]

I did, it was too late when I did. They had lack of evidence and I was threatened for weeks after and he said he'd hurt me and my family

[KawaiiPie67]

I'm sorry the police didn't help you OP.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Then tell a third party and let them leak the fact that he threatened harm. Have them spread the word far and wide, until he is crushed under the weight of so many vigilantes, he dare not make a move against you. If he is going to threaten your family openly like that, let him feel threatened a hundred-fold.

[orphan]

Nothing about involving the police?

=(

[Sabretooth]

got courage.

[ted22]

Can I ask how old are you?