Why do most women when they are angry about something, stay quiet and not express their feelings?

Question

I've seen a few relationships and tried to help friends with this but I am stumped, I've seen it first hand as well and I was not flattered or turned on by the fact that we are required to be mind readers about everything we do in a relationship, especially devouted ones where we are constantly together and doing a lot of things that can be defined as anger building based on things both small and large. When a guy has a problem, he voices it in the open and makes sure its heard, a girl when angry remains silent, looks at us with disdain and frustration but never tells us whats wrong. Honestly I want to know the reason why women feel it is nessisary to put a guy in a position that is only going to frustrate and irritate him further and possibly end a relationship based on the simple notion of communication which most women feel is the essential building of a relationship, when they can't adhere to it?

dipta · Accepted Answer

It's funny you ask this question because guys (at least on here) usually say exactly the opposite: that girls are free to express their feelings but guys are molded into cavemen figures... and then you ask why girls don't express themselves more...

Well, now that I think about it and depending on your culture, girls are still seen as "dolls" or something good to look at, but you don't really expect them to misbehave or complain because that breaks the spell. So maybe instead of asking why many girls don't open up when they're upset (they do, but mostly not with guys who don't understand us), in a way it would make more sense asking why guys prefer it that way.

Then there's also the maternal thing... You try to be patient and nice until the point when you really have to raise your voice and point out clearly things you feel are obvious to begin with... which is what makes you more upset and then risk treating guys like little children because of that.

Again, not all women are like this, and this is just my opinion on possible reasons for the behavior you're mentioning. Couldn't choose an option from among those...

charlesbarkley · Accepted Answer

I'm personally not like this anymore, because I've learned throughout time how to say what I think/feel and that I am a blunt individual... But thats something I've LEARNED to kinda of adapt to. I think whoever these woman are that do this don't know yet exactly how to master this so called skill of voicing their opinion. Obviously this is frustrating for a guy, but you also have to understand how frustrating it is for a girl to not feel comfortable enough to voice what she thinks because of the possibility of the guy breaking up with them, or thinking differently of them. I personally think, a lot of it has to do with insecurities that a girl may posess, and isn't exactly sure how the guy will perceive her thoughts and words. And in all fairness, the amount of times I've seen girls try and voice what they thought to a guy about how they really feel or anything of that sort and get totally rejected or shot down, is sad. I do think this has a lot to do with the guy, more than the girl sometimes.

lovemeforme1 · Answer

I don't want the guy to be mind reader at all! I mean c'mon u r a human not an alien who can receive the brain signals plus when I am silently angry 'bout something it also means that either I want the guy to feel guilty or I am trying to analyze whether being angry 'bout that particular issue is correct. When I am expecting something from him and he doesn't do it only then will I get angry with him. When I really love n trust him and also if i think he is more than just any guy only then will I also expect things from him...
:-)

Izzy2102 · Answer

Because we're taught too I know she talks about weight mostly, but she also says something about he being taught to keep her anger inside while her brother was taught to literally scream it out. And it's true. Today still we tell girls they shouldn't get angry, they should be silent and calm and keep questionable opinions to themselves. And when we don't you call us emotional or bitchy or bossy or whatever word is in style these days

MaskedSanity · Answer

It's a two edged sword:

Girl bottles up her anger - obviously expects man to be a mind reader
Girl expresses her anger - omfg what an emotional bitch

Your observation is very one dimensional and your poll options are riddled with the passive aggressive bullshit men oh so despise.

I don't stay silent and neither do "most" women. Your 2-3 examples don't define an entire gender.

Vivienne07 · Answer

Really? Doesn't sound like any women I know - lol. Usually it's the opposite - we're the big mouths with all the emoting and it's usually like pulling teeth to get you guys to talk about your feelings. Of course there are exceptions. I don't know what to tell you except to sit down and talk to her directly. No games, no mystery, just ask her.

Cj4TheWin · Answer

Because if we do voice or problems we're too "emotional". God, you don't know how often I've heard that in my life. If I get upset about something and I tal about it, the boy can't talk to me "when I'm being so emotional and irrational". And if I hear that I go psycho bitch bat crazy...
SO I stay silent :33

Creole_Flavor · Answer

If you did something wrong she wants you to come clean and apologize instead picking your brain just for a guy to deny and make her look crazy. Lol If she is mad about something else she probably needs space and wants you to show you care more and ask questions sincerely.

thunderxcxuxnxtx · Answer

Obviously she just needs to learn how to communicate! Communication is the key to a happy relationship no matter how hard it is. Let her know it's pisses you off when she holds in her feelings and try to make her and help her understand how to communicate in a relationship but also if she doesn't feel comfortable and doesn't want you to get angry trying to communicate with u there may b a problem with how u communicate with her in a bad situation try to talk things out not blow up in each other's faces.

SandPlanet · Answer

I'd really really love to answer your question, vote in your poll, and give you my thorough opinion, but unfortunetly your question is nothing but an absurdly broad generalization that makes it impossible to seriously reply to. Maybe next time.

Anonymous · Answer

Well most women I know[ some not all] are passive aggressive, not to an extreme point, but to a point where they come off as bitchy. Some guys are like this too, but its most common in women. I don't know why we women don't communicate our feelings more. It stumps me and I believe that communication is key for a healthy relationship whether that be between a mother her daughter or husband and wife.

matrix124 · Answer

I believe communication, next to respect, is the most important thing in a relationship. Unfortunately, a lot of men & women don't effectively communicate, & it can have devastating effects on their relationship.

TheLastGirlScout · Answer

you're generalising both men and women here. I voice my issues, my partner doesn't, he stays quiet until a force him to tell me. If I'm angry and quiet, trust me, I'm doing it for your good...

UrHomie · Answer

I have no idea that's just how I am. I get quiet and then one day when I'm fed up I just explode.. maybe it could be because I don't want to start drama at the moment so I suck it up.

Ashtonissuperhot123 · Answer

Because if we don't we might totally explode on you with all our hormonal bipolar feelings that we've been holding in and you will think we are a crazy physco path.

Christina132 · Answer

Everyone should be held to the same standards with communication in a relationship. That's how it works.

LittleSally · Answer

D. It's the only way we'll ever understand each other... Hahahaha

Why do most women when they are angry about something, stay quiet and not express their feelings?

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