Is the Silent Treatment pure manipulation? Does she want me to beg for forgiveness even though I don't know what I did wrong?

[Anonymous]

I know this girl likes me but she is not talking to me hasn't for a few days. I have no idea what I did wrong. Or maybe she doesn't know how to deal with her emotions? What should I say to her?

[bohemiancleopatra]

she does want you to fight for her but why fight for a girl who can't just be upfront about her feelings if she's upset she could just at least tell u why she's kinda being a little immature if your mad at someone just tell him he can't guess what he did wrong but if u apologize once then she should expect it but if she isn't replying to u then u should let her come to u when she's ready to talk because the last thing u want is her being upset while talking to u but either way she's gonna be upset u don't say anything its gonna make her mad if u do and its not what she wants to here i would just be sincere apologize say im sorry for hurting ur feelings that was none of my intentions to hurt you especially when i care a lot for a girl who cares a lot about me im sure words can not fix my actions but i do have a heart and i do care a lot about u and ur happiness and i sure would not like this to be the last time i hear from u i really wanna talk to you i think ur a amazing girl im sorry again have a good day and leave it at that if she don't accept it dont kiss her yeah because u shouldn;t half to do a lot to get a girl to forgive u

[hellbunny]

IF you had said you knew what you did wrong then I'd say a simple sorry would have to suffice (no-no begging for forgiveness that's pure evil). BUT since you don't know then I'd direct her. Meaning try to approach her at some point when she's alone and ask/tell her,"Whatever I did wrong I know it wasn't right of me. Yet guys don't always pick up on we we've done to hurt girls because there are things guys say and do that are fine to us that wouldn't be to you. So if you want me to be sincere about apologizing-I need to know what I did wrong." I know it's long winded-but it's what my father has always said to my mother/me and it works with us and it's worked for other guys. Don't blame her for anything or play the "I don't know what I did so it's okay card"-THAT will tick any girl off. If it's her emotions-stating the above offer for an apology will open her eyes up to her crappy behavior. Sometimes emotions blind. No one's an acception. Good luck and hope things turn around :)

[Wondorous]

For a lot of women, the silent treatment truly is pure manipulation. For others, they are simply being passive aggressive instead of confronting the issue head on.

If she's going to be passive aggressive and act like you're a mind reader then I think you need to just be upfront and ask her, "Hey, did I offend you or do something to bother you?" I don't know why so many guys and girls just get mute if there's a problem instead of addressing it and moving forward. Communication is key. If she has a problem she needs to just tell you instead of making you play the guessing game.

[Anonymous]

The silent treatment is a way of manipulating the person they are doing the silent treatment too. If someone is immature enough to use the silent treatment then that tells me they are a waste of time and I leave them. I'm not in a relationship to play games and to try and manipulate the person I care about. I could love a girl a hell of a lot, but if I see that she's trying to manipulate me... she's out of my life. It's not an easy thing to do, but it's what I feel is what needs to be done. I think if everyone did this, guy or girl, then people would realize that the silent treatment doesn't work and that they learn to grow up. Mature relationships work by communicating. Not by keeping silent. There's a reason why people say communication is the key. It's because it works. When a person does the silent treatment, then they are doing the very thing that doesn't work. Not in the long run. Maybe in the short run, but not for the relationship to last for the long haul.

[ky_monsterr]

Yes, it is and it's not fair. Just be straight up and confront her.. Women love men. Get it? If you're too passive she'll think you don't actually care, if you're too pushy she'll think you're obsessed... Find the balance and just ask her in the best way you feel.

[Asker]

So I should ask her why she's being immature?

[ky_monsterr]

Yeah, I wouldn't say it like that though maybe cos you may not get the response you want lol.. But yah just ask her why so silent suddenly? If she doesn't respond again, forget her.

[Anonymous]

If she's giving you the silent treatment to manipulate you into giving her more attention, well that doesn't bode well for her. But you have to ask yourself if you like her enough to play that game/put up with that behavior. If no, then time to move on. If yes, just start talking to her next time you see her, start things off with a "Hey stranger/ so we meet again" type thing to acknowledge her absence. It could be that she's just been really busy, she's shy and doesn't know how to respond, she had her wisdom teeth pulled out and can't actually talk, who knows.
In the end you have to respect yourself enough to know that if she is giving you the silent treatment for no reason that you yourself are aware of, she's not being very nice to you and you deserve better.

[Anongirl_18]

Next time you see her ask her why she's mad at you (or if she's even mad at you). If I give anyone the silent treatment it's for one of 2 reasons. I'm either so pissed that I need some time to think about the situation and how to explain it to the guy. OR i'm going through a really rough time and don't feel like talking to anyone. Most likely she's really pissed at you so tread lightly with how you talk to her.

[Anonymous]

What exactly happened that made her stop talking to you?

[Asker]

I have no idea at all she's just been hot and cold. Things seemed to be going really well and I told her I liked her now she's cold again.

[Asker]

We've been on several dates.

[Opinion Owner]

Did you try to reach out to her? Was her response just silence? Or have you not tried contacting her and she hasn't contacted you either?

[Asker]

No I haven't contacted her. I don't want to be clingy so I usually wait a few days and try again.

[Asker]

I don't even know what to say.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe she hasn't contacted you because you haven't contacted her. I don't think she's giving you the silent treatment, she probably thinks you lost interest and is thinking the same thing about you as you are about her

Miscommunication.

[Asker]

Hmm that might be it but I told her I liked her and she still hasn't replied its been 4 days. I don't know what else to say.