Guys, when a girl tells you she wants to take things slow, what do you think that means?

[haha_ok]

I know what I mean by it, but I could talk until I'm blue in the face and some guys just don't get it. What do you think?

[Thewhitestdudeever]

I don't know I let the girls decide how fast or slow our relationship goes. Usually they sleep with me immediately but sometimes they like to go slow and I'm cool with that, those relationships usually last a loooooot longer.

[haha_ok]

I'll keep this in mind!

[Thewhitestdudeever]

Please do, but on a side note, one girl who slept with me the first day ended up dating me for 3 years so you never know haha

[Anonymous]

i think that this mean that she need more time for our relationship to escalate and she just needs more time to think about everything in general

[haha_ok]

This is true. In this case she might really genuinely like him, but rushing things could ruin everything, just like they have in the past. She doesn't want him or herself to become overwhelmed by the relationship so taking things slow (while still making it apparent that she's very interested) is the best solution.

[Opinion Owner]

yes. i understand ladies... goaaaaaaaaaaal

[TheYellowBear]

It means she wants to take things slowly and I share her stance, I am in no rush to go head long into the unknown.

[haha_ok]

Thank you! You get me.

[TheYellowBear]

Slow and steady wins the race.

The tortoise won the race not the hare.

[molan]

I know what it means, but taking it too slow, then I am starting to loses interest.

She need to show interest, affecting and then love. If the relationship started to look like a dead-end, then I am beginning to loosing interest.

[haha_ok]

That makes sense. I think you can still be affectionate while keeping things at a slow pace.

[Little-Hippie]

Honestly?

It makes me think that she's about to withhold sex up front in order to make me court her like a gentleman so that she can emulate greater self-value.

[haha_ok]

Is that a bad thing?

[Little-Hippie]

Depends on the guy and how he feels about the girl.
It's not all black and white.

If he's alright with taking it slow AND you guys are pretty much just seeing each other, it could be a great opportunity to get to know one another well.

There's a lot of room to go wrong though.
If he thinks you're dating around while telling him to take it slow, he'll feel slighted.
If he thinks you're doing it out of apprehension and that you're not genuine, it could be bad.
If he gets the impression that you're just using him to paint the town and your ego, that's not a good look.
You mostly just don't want to make it look forced.
It's also important to keep the sexual chemistry going even if you're taking it slow.
Sometimes, trying too hard to keep it classy can come off as disinterest.
Also, contrary to popular belief, how quickly a girl sleeps with a guy has little effect on how he views her with regards to relationship potential. It has a lot more to do with the specific situation.

[the_entertainer]

Interesting how you say to keep the sexual chemistry going even if you're taking it slow. Can you give some examples?

[haha_ok]

I think you can still take it slow while maintaining sexual tension between the two of you. Slight touching in public, even kissing one another quite a bit, and just keeping conversations flirty without taking off your clothes behind closed doors (unless you want to! then more power to ya). That's how I usually do it.

[Little-Hippie]

Basically what OP said.
Let the other person know that the sexual attraction is there, but without having to spell it out.
lot's of touching is always nice. Hand-holding, cuddling, nuzzling, lingering touches, it's all lovely.

One of the primary positives that comes from taking it slow:
Your first sexual encounter will have the longest foreplay of the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Me personally I would like to be told how slow, because at that point I wouldn't know when kissing would be "ok" when anything sexual would be "ok" or anything like that

[haha_ok]

Sexual things would come after the two of you are exclusive to one another (and are on the same page of what that means), but kissing could happen whenever you feel like its appropriate/can't stand not kissing them anymore.

[silvernblackattk]

it means she's not interested in you and move on before she hurts you

[haha_ok]

In this case, I am very much interested and would like it to last longer than a small fling because rushing would ruin everything.

[silvernblackattk]

Im not saying to have a fling.. If you dont let him know you're intersted in him he might become insecure

[haha_ok]

Of course I'd let him know through my actions, and if he ever feels insecure I hope he'd speak up about it.

[silvernblackattk]

When we speak up about it we are called needy and weak

[haha_ok]

If I'm with somebody I want them to be open and honest about the way they feel because that's what I give them

[silvernblackattk]

Well i commend you for that.. Wish more women were like you

[2legitk]

If you didn’t sleep with him I bet he split, I would love to know. But honestly l, these days I wouldn’t spend another single second wasting my time with her, when other women won’t play games and sleep with you if she wants to.

[imbittered_punk]

It usually means that she wants dates without having sex. Which I can understand, but it doesn't fly with men with an ounce of self respect.

[haha_ok]

So you're saying that men with self respect wouldn't agree to take things slow and those who do don't have any self respect? Correct me if I'm wrong.

[imbittered_punk]

In as far as what i think you mean by taking it slow, yes. Like i get that women don't want to jump into bed right away and that a girls gotta eat. But anthing more than 5 dates without anything phisical happening is taking advantage of the guy in a big bad way. Because he's either dumb enough to stick around a barren relationship, or scared enough that he doesn't think he can find anyone else.

[haha_ok]

What I mean is not rushing into anything too serious, too soon. No need for labels and expectations of a boyfriend/girlfriend right away, and we don't have to spend every free moment together either. You say anything more than 5 dates without anything physical happening is taking advantage of a man, and I agree to an extent. What do you mean by anything physical? Does kissing alone count or is that still taking advantage in your mind?

[imbittered_punk]

That's like a normal relationship nower days.

[haha_ok]

Yes but while they don't rush labels they do rush sex and that isn't cool when it gets blown up in your face because somebody got too overwhelmed

[Blueeyes81]

I'm not going to get laid for awhile.

[haha_ok]

Hahaha this is true, not gonna deny that.

[Anonymous]

It's a players excuse for "I'm seeing other people at the same time, I'm playing you"

[haha_ok]

Agree to disagree.

[Opinion Owner]

lol, oh, ok, playing it like that, playa?

[haha_ok]

Nah, I just don't want to rush something really good man.

[Opinion Owner]

If you want it, go for it... you're not going to scare him away, if he's truly in to you. When you want something, you have to be confident enough to go for it... you're going to get hurt in life, there's no avoiding it. I doubt he will though, he sounds like a good guy. Don't use "I want to take it slow" as an excuse, only players do that

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not confident enough to go for what I want, mostly because I don't know what I want butttt, if you want it, go for it, is what I'm saying

[haha_ok]

You can still go for what you want while keeping a steady pace

[Opinion Owner]

Not really

[Opinion Owner]

It'd be like trying to go slow in your car, if you go to slow, you'll eventually stall the car... not a good thing

[Anonymous]

She wants to think with her mind before heart

[Anonymous]

means find a new girl

[haha_ok]

Not necessarily. In some cases the girl may want to let him down easy this way but often there could be something substantial there that would be ruined if they were to rush into something too fast.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean he may not want to take things slow

[haha_ok]

Then if he doesn't want to, that's fine. He doesn't HAVE to date her but if he really likes her and wants to date her then he will respect her wanting to take things slow and will do just that.

[Opinion Owner]

That is true most young guys are in a rush though not all but most