Why don't women text back?

[xtremeballa46]

So I've known this girl for over 15 years. We are really good friends. I try and do something nice for her around the holiday season and her birthday. I work 2 jobs so I rarely have time call her let alone see her so I send her a text from time to time just to let her know that she's still dear to me and I value her friendship. She texted me during the holidays saying that she is so grateful to have a friend like me and she wouldn't know where she would be without me, all that jazz. I texted her back a few hours later that day as I was at work and couldn't immediately text. I texted her saying Happy Holidays! No response. (Okay it's the holiday season. Family may be in town so I get it no response... But for 7 solid days?) New years rolls around and I'm off from both jobs so I call her. No response. Okay sent a text early New Years Eve. No response. Then I texted her again at Midnight. No response throughout the whole day. Okay now I'm getting irritated. She's not one to ignore me. I'm not a fling but we've been through a lot together so now my mind is wandering. I texted her on the 4th asking if she wanted me to drop off her gift. No response. Then yesterday I took a picture showing her that is was real and asked what she wanted to do. No response!!! She has time to like photos on Instagram but not say one word to me? All of the sudden too. I'm not trying anything with this girl. We've always been strictly platonic for years. Why the sudden no responses? Did I Mess up somewhere along the lines with my friendship? Can you all please clarify because it's really killing my vibe.

Updates

+1 y

I may have to follow up on this question as a lot of people think I'm pursuing this girl. I'm not. We have been and always will be just friends. People think I'm desperate. No I can go out and have a good night and meet new women. This was just a question to see how women think and get a different perspective. I don't have any romantic feelings towards her. But as a friend, i thought we were a little better than a "casual encounter" and that is the reason why I asked this question.

[Anonymous]

Every where u go, u c women attached to their phones, this is where ladies shoot themselves in the foot. Guys are not stupid. even when u r on a date with a girl she's on her phone. Even phone bill stats reveal girls talk and text almost 7x more than men. Girls do not text back for a # of reasons no paticular order:
1) she is not sure what to say/shy/ nervous/ over thinking
2) she is interested in other guys n u r the back up/rainy day/free dinner and drink kiss on the cheek guy
3) she does not like u and does not have the character or courage to tell u directly, so she hints in ways u can not find out ( n they call themselves better communicators RME)
4) she's playing games because her friends, cosmo or some chick flick told her to. so she wants to c how much effort u will put or how desperate u r
5) she is mad at u for something u did/ or she found out something about u that she does not like
with the divorce rate on its way to 70% u may ask yourself why they play these foolish games and do not comunicate properly. try the marketing effect, ask a ton of girls out n date the ones wise enough and kind enough to get back to u. If a girl can't communicate with u at the beginning of a relationship, believe me its the sign of much more problems to come

[ChivalryExists]

she's either really busy, or she sees the message and says "ill respond later" and never does. In all honesty she probably has a significant other or someone else she is talking to. Therefore you will not be at the top of her priority list. Its just they way life works, I wouldn't take much offense to it. Dont burn bridges, if she wants to talk to you she will if not her loss man.

[xtremeballa46]

I agree. I think she does have a significant other now. I'm not hung up on that. She's had others who knew who I was before ever meeting them (i. e. at birthday parties they would walk up and say hi and I'd be like who are you?) She's a grown woman and she can do what she wants. I just want to give her the gift and I can walk my separate way if she wants. Through the 15 years, if you don't want to speak to me anymore, I should have at least earned a "I'm sorry but do not contact me anymore... lose my number..." Something right? Or is that just me having to high of an expectation?

[angel_lawyer]

No matter how many time you stress on the word friendship, she ll always look for a deeper meaning in your effort of communicating her and finally seeimg that she s getting nowhere with you, all that late responses etc. She may be like "m tired of mind games" .
Girls have hard time reading men s behaviour as straighforward as men would. I mean, women always look for an alterior motive, call it positive or negative. So if you told her you re aorry for a late response she d be like "didnt yiu at least pee the whole day?" . We take it serious when we re not responded as fast as we do. But anyway, she proBbly needs to see you try harder for contacting her. But in the mean time make it clear to her that you ve already been doing ur best for keeping in touch and that you value her as a good friend. And be careful, make sure she doeant take it as if you pursue her like many here.. see women think alike.

[Uniqueness13]

I know from personal experience that no matter how busy a women is, they always find time to text. We always have our phone on us or close by. Now I'm not saying that there's not women that are busy all day and don't mess with there phone. But the majority of us always have our phone out at different points of the day. I'm sure your friend saw your messages. Maybe she is just tired of texting you or maybe she thought that u was starting to get feelings for her and didn't feel the same way. Girls can be pretty cruel when it comes to texting. You can definitely tell when they don't want to talk to you

[xtremeballa46]

It's all good now. I dropped the gift off. We actually spoke for a while after this in person. I'd rather do it face to face than over the phone. I actually found some stuff out and now I feel like a immature jerk.

[msinvisible1]

She may feel you want more than she is willing to offer and doesn't know how to politely tell you. I think its rude to act like that. But it's that or she found her someone who has her nose open and as soon as that doesn't work out she will be back with a long explainantion of what happened. Up to you to forgive and forget or forgive and say nice knowing you.

[xtremeballa46]

I agree with your comment. She can have a man. I'm not taking that away from her. But at least as friends she could respond. Again, it's not like I just met this girl last weekend. I've known her for over 15 years and we've always been in touch. It's just a way for me to say,"thanks being there when no one else was." That's it. I try not to burn bridges but I don't know. I just want to give her her present as I got it solely for her. That's all.

[DancingWithDragons]

She may be upset that she told you how important you are to her and how much she values you and all she got back in response was "happy holidays" but all together even if that does have something to do with it, the main reason she's not talking to you is the same reason a lot of people don't talk during the holidays: they HAVE to talk to so many people and it's draining and annoying and she just doesn't want to get into another conversation so she's not responding in order to not risk feeding a conversation she doesn't want to have to try to keep up.

That simple. Stop over analyzing everything and just chill. She'll text you when she's up for it.

[emmabee11]

"She texted me during the holidays saying that she is so grateful to have a friend like me" <<<< that says i all dude, she said FRIEND which means she doesn't like you the way you like her and she see's you like her and she is now probably feeling awkward... so when a girl ignores you it means she's not interested in a romantic relation.

[xtremeballa46]

Yes I know and I said I was thankful to have a friend like her too. FRIENDS is all we are. People on here are thinking I'm attracted to this girl which i'm not. I was just trying to do something nice and we have always talked to one another about a lot of stuff so this was just off putting.

[emmabee11]

Oh... she's probably thinking why your doing all these nice things for her and taking it wrong then lol that's how people are these days, if you even do 1 nice thing for them your probably after something... lol because the majority of humans wouldn't do something out of the kindness of their heart, so i would text her again and ask her does she think you fancy her? lol and explain you don't have any feelings for her and that your not just saying that to some how "cover up" for the that you do (when you don't), yor just trying to be a good friend. If she doesn't respond still then her loss... she probs didn't know you at all then.

[passionforprince]

As platonic friends it really should not bother you too much. At least you have a clue that she is okay and alive via instragram. Friends sometime have a change in priorities and while its rude not to respond I would not take it personal. I would wait until she contacts you and if she doesn't then you have your answer, the friendship is not what you thought.

[LittleSally]

If you didn't have feelings for her you wouldn't be wondering about this this much (as most men don't) + you wouldn't be posting such a long question about it here...

Anyways, I know that sometimes I hear a message come in, but I'm doing something else and have no time to check it, and afterwards I forget I got it so I don't reply until I see it.
OR I read it immediately, but then have to go back to work and forget to reply...

[fitandfun]

She's not worth your time dude!! Just let it go... ;) If she comes around then great but otherwise just lay off. Have a good weekend :)

[xtremeballa46]

Yup I just dropped her gift off. Left it at the door and kept it moving. I don't have time for petty games. Thank you and have a great weekend yourself :)

[Skielah]

Are you sure you have no feelings for her because you're getting quite annoyed at the fact she isn't responding? If I had text/called someone and they didn't respond I wouldn't text/call them again, specially not in numerous occasions. Dont contact her again. leave her to it.

[rosedream]

Umm... that's maybe because she doesn't want to contact u or she feels something unpleasant about u. I think she wants to finish up the friendship between u and her due to some reasons; like your bad behaviours or something she doesn't like you do to her, etc. But don't be stressed, she may also want to check your feeling so she makes no response to u.

[William_Kendrick]

she doesn't like you. she's not interested. she wishes to be left alone. move on.

i know that sucks, and will hurt, and will take time.. but you need to move on.

do not call her. she will simply make up an excuse as to why she hasn't messaged or replied to you, such as oh i dont like texting or you always text me while i'm busy, etc.
the truth is she doesn't like you. move on.

[Durty]

say homie, I have to agree with what a lot of folks were saying down below. Either she really really likes the game of cat and mouse and you played real well, or she's not interested man and you just don't know how to get the hint. wish mail have to learn to be honest with ourselves and stop letting pride blind us. it's okay to be proud and all that shit. But too much pride will make you dick shrink.

[PhoebeCaulfield]

They either have no interest or don't care, or there are busy. Could even be all three. The man is trying to hook up via text. It's just another part of pursuing the woman. So, if she is not replying via text, STOP TEXTING. Find another woman who is interested in you.

[Kaylove96]

Your probably more into her than she is and it's like your putting all the effort. I know I don't respond sometimes if I'm unsure or something. But since it's not just once, I wouldn't say its good and maybe you should stop 'trying'. Putting all this effort because when you get nothing back its hurtful or like you said, irritating

[ontherun]

Well calm down and take a breath it seems she has outgrew the friendship. She also most likely be with someone that may not want her having guy friends. In the mean time keep your mind busy with other things and you may hear from her when you least expect it.

[Anonymous]

I honestly wish I can give you an answer to this but trust me, I know how you feel and it is absolutely maddening! Chances are is that she was probably really busy during the holiday season, and I also wouldn't be surprised if she's still busy after the holidays as well. I suggest not communicating with her for the next couple of days and see what happens. Women not texting back (or people in general) is on my biggest pet peeves

[xtremeballa46]

I took all that into consideration. I was busy during the holiday season so I get it. Trust me. I don't even talk to her as much as we did before due to my work schedule. I work 70 hour work weeks so I barely have time to sleep, so I text her when I can. I'm not so impatient and I don't expect an answer in 10 mins. But I would hope to see a response in a few hours. I think that's reasonable. Hey even i get side track and forget to respond that day but I do get other messages and I'll be like "Oh damn i didn't respond to... text, let me get back to them," and I will apologize for the delay. But I at least acknowledge my error.

[Imsorryy]

I would be very annoyed if a friend kept texting me over and over again. Take a chill pill, you already know she appreciates you because she sent YOU the first text. Don't read so far into electronic interactions, focus more on how she acts when you are together, that's a truer measure of how she is

[Anonymous]

She might think that you like her in a romantic way. I would get a little irritated if a friend texted me again and again because I didn't answer. If you wish her a happy new year and she doesn't respond, then she doesn't deserve your friendship! You sound like a nice person that puts a lot of effort in to the friendship and she doesn't.

[Kshppatel]

She's busy texting 5 other guys. Guys who don't want her. Meanwhile here you are all up on her shit. My advice is go no contact. Enjoy your life. Fuck worrying about people that will never appreciate you or want you back. Srs.

[Souma95]

Some people just aren't texters. Sometimes it's because of the generation, other times it's just not their thing.
Then there's those who are ALWAYS texting and same thing, it's either a generation matter, or they're just the chatty types. :)

[xtremeballa46]

I agree with you. Some aren't texters. In fact, a lot of us hate texting. But it's so easy now a days and instead of calling one another, we text. I do it because I know my friends are busy so they can get back to me when they have a minute. I do it just to say "hey i need to talk to you. Hit me up at x hour so we can talk." Hell I'd rather sit down and look someone in the eye and have a conversation. It's more engaging.

[roundincircles]

Personally if I don't text a guy back its because he's texting too much, or I ain't into them some times its a little irrating texting all the time exp when you've nothing to say

[xtremeballa46]

I understand if I'm texting way too much about B. S. then yeah I wouldn't respond either. I texted her 3 times over a 7 day period and that was Only last week. Other than that, I would text her like once every 2 months just to say hi. That's it. Again people are busy and I myself don't have time to text back right away but I would at least acknowledge the individual.

[Kittyshoes1000]

maybe she's busy or she is dating someone else. When girls have a man they care about, they tend to ignore their male friends.

Or other than that, I have no clue.

[Sara_rembiszewski]

I think when she sent the nice message she was expecting a nice message back. She told you how important you were to her and all she got was a happy holidays text. To me I would feel like I didn't mean as much to you, as you did to me. I would apologize soon.

[Panorama]

It’s usually because I sincerely am very busy, trying to get a lot done, and I don’t have the time to pause my day to have a texting convo

[xtremeballa46]

Right I understand. I never expect anyone to drop their day to speak with anyone unless it was an emergency. But as a courtesy, a simple respond back a day later I think is appropriate. That's my issue at the moment. Like most women said on here, I"m "trying to hard". Ok trying to hard to be JUST A FRIEND and that's it. Cool I can drop it and keep moving. Not an issue for me. But that's cool to throw away a 15 year friendship because you think i'm being awkward.

[Panorama]

Honestly if you think not replying to a text is what throws away a fifteen year friendship then you are being way too sensitive.

[blueeyed]

You should straight up ask her. If you don't ask, you'll never know. She'll prob say she's busy or something. But that just means you're not on the top of her priorities!! Good luck

[john_breaker]

We are all busy. If all you can do is send a text message or respond a couple of hours later then you should expect the same. If you called once every 2 weeks just to really find out if your friend is good by listening to the sound of their voice then you will get quicker responses. A phone call that lasts a minute is more meaningful than 10 text messages.

[yankees992014]

maybe she just busy and dont have the time. My wife do the same way and i know her well enough that when she busy, she wouldn't text back. i think this as a society's point of view is that if she don't text you then she would not be interested, i call that comment not true.

[Bellibooo]

I have a lot of friends who simply forget to text back. It's nothing personal, they are just stupid sometimes haha!

[PinkFreud]

Sometimes we just don't feel like it. Get off her sack

[xtremeballa46]

Well tell us how you really feel. Like I said, I work 2 jobs and am always busy. How is wanting to give her a gift in person being on her sack?

[JML510]

"Get off her sack"
LMAO!

[Aquaintence]

Well if your texting her a lot without her replying your probably driving her more away. I'd get super irritated if a guy kept texting me when I didn't reply. If you're being too forward that will also drive her away.

[TylerTouchesTenderly]

Possibly because your trying too hard. Put it out there. While a woman does not like feeling like a slut, if she wants you she will peruse you or at least drop the hint that she wants you to chase her.

Learn to be subtle

[TheGreenRanger]

She's not being a very good friend (if that is all it really is to you), lose her.

[xtremeballa46]

Yeah and we've always been good friends. This isn't like her to just disappear.

[TheGreenRanger]

Had a buddy flake on me several times; called him "Frosted (flakes)" then let him decide if he still wanted to hang.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I think u like her a lot more than she likes u

[xtremeballa46]

I don't have feeling for her in that way. I just find it weird that she would all the sudden stop responding. Boyfriend or not. She's knows I don't see her that way. I've never tried to do anything with her and never will. She's like a close sister in a way. It's like trying to get a hold of a sibling and not being able to reach them. You then wonder, is something wrong. That's how I'm taking it.

[meggyhertz]

Dude you're in love with her. Give her some space and she will come around.

[Anonymous]

You say that you don't want anything special with her. Not true and she can feel it. You texted her too much. You also bore her and she also is in a relationship or trying to be. Leave her be and give the gift to someone else.

[xtremeballa46]

Hmm maybe I am coming off to strong. Never thought about it that way. I seriously don't feel for her like that and the 3 times I texted during the holidays I guess scared her off. It's okay now because I just dropped off her gift and left it at the door. My name isn't on it so she can assume her dude got it or whoever. I don't care at this point.

[Opinion Owner]

Well you do care but yes you came off too strong. (use of word "too" is correct in this context... I am a grammar Nazi)

[Anonymous]

She must not like you very much. I think it is rude not to respond when someone does not respond. When a woman likes you, oh man dude you may wish they didn't text you so much.

[Anonymous]

Maybe just ask why is SHE not answering instead of just all women... and maybe you're being too clingy :/

[xtremeballa46]

I never said all women don't text back. It was a general question to see what women had to say. I'm not a woman so I would never know what how a woman thinks. Also, how am I being to clingy? By getting her a gift for being a friend? I do this for all close friends of mine. It's just a way of saying thanks. Again, it's not like I just met this girl. I've known her since my childhood. I haven't seen this girl in over 6 months due to my schedule and we only texted each other 3 times during that timespan.

[trainerladyy]

It happens both way, guys do the same thing. People find time for people that are important to them. If a person can't find time to text you, you are not that important to them.

[langleafy]

You like her friendship more than she likes yours. Or what she said before was just obligatory to her and she doesn't really care.

[xxxxxxxxz]

maybe she got a new phone number and forgot to tell u

[Anonymous]

I'm at the point right now where I'd just settle for a girl that could text back consistently

[Jo_Bunny]

How about you send me that gift instead? lol

[xtremeballa46]

Heck I just may.

[Anonymous]

She will get in touch just let this silence run its course

[xtremeballa46]

Silence run it's course. How long should i patiently wait.

[Anonymous]

Why don't men text back?

[helpman]

R u kidding men always twxt back
they dont only if they have personal issues with them

[Opinion Owner]

They literally rarely text. Or they'll text you then stop. For no reason.

[pathvalleygirl]

I don't know why don't men answer back

[Anonymous]

Maybe she has feelings for you and is upset

[Anonymous]

I have same problem with guys.

[nert73]

Just about every girl does... erg

[markony]

You mean you have same problem with guys who send mixed signals
Or guys who didn't text back

[Opinion Owner]

Guys who didn't text back.

[Anonymous]

cuz they don't want the D.

[p0rtis26]

yep lol

[Anonymous]

Try calling instead.

[xtremeballa46]

Yes you are right I can call. Normally I'm at work from 730am until 1130pm as I work 2 jobs and once I leave one I go straight to the other. So the only time I can call her is during the weekends. I also know she has a hectic schedule as well. She's calls me and I can't pick up and vice versa. Maybe I am trying to hard but it's all good. I just dropped off her gift and left it on her door on my way to work. Done deal

[Opinion Owner]

A call only has to last 2-5 minutes.

[xtremeballa46]

Yes it does. But on the other hand. A visit can last equally as long. I just wanted to say here happy holidays enjoy your gift and leave. It was something nice and I wanted to hand it to her as a grown man should but instead of these games, I had to act like a child and pass the gift along. Again, it's all good because it's done now. Thanks for the input.