My ex wrote a book among other things and I just need someone to explain to me why this is happening?

[Anonymous]

This is my second attempt at writing this. My first attempt was lost when I had to sign up for an account. Here goes,

I was crazy about this girl for 4 years. She went to university and became addicted to alcohol and MDMA, as well as prescription sleep aids. I was unaware of this until years later as she would hide it and go through withdrawal when around me. She began to blame me and tell her friends that I was abusive towards her to explain her actions and why she would stay up all night crying. So they effectively hated me. I tried to make her happy. I tried so damn hard. I gave her everything I could think of. She loved Harry Potter so I got her signed copies of every book. I took out a loan to help her pay for school and I stayed up with her every night trying to calm her down. Nothing I did made her happy. The mere sight of me seemed to make her sick.

After we finally broke up. I initiated it and felt horrible about it. I still loved her. She contacted me a few months later and told me it wasn't my fault and explained her addiction and that she just wanted attention and sympathy. She asked me if I was seeing anyone, I wasn't. She said she met someone and he was good to her and that she was sorry for hurting me and she wanted me to be happy.

She spent the rest of the night crying and I comforted her like old times. It wasn't easy.

Fast forward to now. I find out she's written a book. It's written in a similar style as Lena Dunham's book with pieces of John Green tossed in for good measure.

The book is made up of 12 chapters. Each chapter represents a man she has slept with and how she is "a-dick-ed" to dick. Actual quote. I'm chapter one and in every successive chapter she adds some sort of attack against me and some comparison to the lover of the chapter, which usually ends in her leaving them because they wouldn't commit to her or because they were depraved.

Why is she doing this? Why did that call happen? Why did she lie? Why

[happygirleveryday]

Weird but I learned that with exes, they always put the other in not great light and then make themselves sad so they get sympathy. It is really sad. My boyfriend fiancé left him to date his friend and then travel the world and brought a house together with the new boyfriend but she makes it like she has so hurt and is recovering. I think it is stupid. You live your life and you do the best. If it doesn't work, move on. For some, they just like people to feel sympathy for them.

[Ninja97]

Maybe she wrote this book when she was dating you in the first place, and this was the only way to get her frustrations out (anger etc) ? it could have also been like a journal to her, and somebody possibly suggested that she publish it?

[JackKerouac77]

Maybe she just wanted to sell a book. No idea.

[Asker]

I appreciate your honesty.

[JackKerouac77]

I mean, I want to know as much as you, but isn't it almost impossible unless she just tells you the truth?

[Asker]

I don't know if anything in the book is true or if what she told me was true. I think from her I'll never truly find that out. What I really want from GaG though is some kind of clarity or insight into what she could be thinking from people who have experienced this or have been in a similar place as she is.

I don't understand not only why she's doing this, but why she's targeting me with all her malice. I truly loved her and this is utter hell. Our relationship has been so toxic that I honestly don't want to date anyone, because even a chance of this happening again is too much of a deterrent for me.

[JackKerouac77]

Perhaps if you study history you can find a similar example, somewhere, to gain some indication of insight? It's as simple as reading biographies on Wikipedia over and over again. I have no experience with it, the only thing I can offer is that something/someone hurt her so badly at some point that treating others without respect is normal to her, which only indicates that at the very core of her being she is most likely sad instead of happy.

[Asker]

She always told me that she hated herself and no matter what I did or said that would never change. Hardest thing I had ever heard til I read her novel.

[JackKerouac77]

Indeed, someone who doesn't love their self deep down is bound to feel constantly unsatisfied with life.

[KBob93]

She probably was feeling it at the time, but not necessarily anymore.

[Asker]

Was really hoping for some insight.