Is it possible to have a girlfriend but have no friends?

[Anonymous]

I stopped trusting people a long time ago after a HS incident. The friends who I thought were my friends all left me. They cut off all connections to me - Changed their numbers, stopped inviting me out, stopped talking to me.

I fell into depression at one stage but have slowly rebuilt my life. I'm not at all content with my current position but I'm proud of my achievement up to date. After the incident, I do not have a large friend base anymore and also as I work 5 days a week, I study full time and I have started a business.

I have 1 best friend that knows everything about me. The rest are just my family. I live in a small town and most locals stick to their groups. I can't really break into niche groups anymore, I think I'm too old for that.

But I'd like to know is it possible to have a girlfriend (Assuming I make the time for her) and not have friends?

Will she judge me and leave because she sees an anomaly in my life?

I don't believe I'm shy, but I'm conservative, I get on with all people but I always feel they judge me before they get to know me. And I don't invest time in them anyway because I'd rather be with myself or my best friend.

[Annette83]

I think it is possible to get a girlfriend without having a lot of friends of your own, but it doesn't seem like a healthy thing to do. It is never a good idea to depend on one person. Because, if you break up with a girlfriend, or, like most couples, go through a bad patch, you will be alone. The people I have known in this situation go to pieces when they break up with someone.

I would apply the same advice to your lifestyle. If you are only working/studying, then you'll get super-stressed out when you run into problems or stress at work or at school. You need a hobby that you enjoy, so that there is something enjoyable in your life when everything else sucks.

A lot of girls I know avoid guys who don't have friends. It is considered a warning sign that a guy can't get along with others. I know that you have had a bad experience and that you live in a small town where it is difficult to meet new people, but you should still make an effort. This will probably be enough for most women. Once they know that you have a bad experience in your past, they will probably feel better about you if you show that you are not letting that experience make you bitter; instead, you are out doing things and trying to get over it.

My advice is to join a sports club or some other kind of club that meets regularly. Maybe take the friend you mentioned. This will kill three birds with one stone. First, you'll be meeting people. I think that once you meet some cool people, you won't feel so hurt about your bad experience with your former friends. Second, you'll be blowing off steam from being cooped up studying and working--it will help you relax and feel healthier. Third, girls will see that you have an interest in something other than work and they will see that you are making an effort to meet people and to get over your bad experience with your former friends. You meet even meet girls at your new hobby/club.

Good luck!

[mt278]

Yes it is possible. I am a female and am in the same position as you. It really depends on how much one values friendships and how important they weigh in on relationships.

I was in a 7 year relationship, and had only one good friend in my life but my boyfriend thought that something was wrong with it, as if I was needy or always relied on him when the reality is, people who always need to have a lot of friends to talk to every single day of their lives are needy in my opinion.

I am a self-sufficient person and prefer spending my time doing something productive to better myself than waste time socializing at a bar or blowing loads of cash at casinos or sporting events.

I am a well rounded, successful, and simplistic woman so I do not see anything wrong with your position. It's best to find someone who has a similar situation as they would be more understanding and would not have a problem with it.

[jimmajam]

Did you ask this before? I answered a similar question not too long ago. You may want to search if it wasn't you for some replies.

Anyways, it's possible, but it will more than likely cause problems. Friends are an important part to a relationship. If you don't have other people to spend time with and rely on you will ultimately smother your partner. What are you going to do when she is with her friends? On the social side, it can also cause problems as you'll always be with her or her and her friends. One sided never works.

This is something you need to work on man. The easiest way to meet new people is join a group doing something you like to do. An example is I joined an MMA gym last month and have a lot of new friends just by having to be there to train.