Girlfriend doesn't want to talk about my problems.

[jucai]

i got some jealousy issues.. I get jealous easily at my girlfriend.. every time I try to talk to her about my problems she will scold me saying that I want her to pity me and it is my fault that those problems are my.. I am really scare to talk to her about my problems now as I am afraid the same thing may happen. ( she broke up with me once because I told her that the things she is doing is making me jealous and I want to talk about it , and it got her angry.) any solutions will be appreciated...

[authentic]

"I feel that she has no respect for me at all... I just now ask her if she really love me and care for me.. she told me she don't know.. I still bear a grudge on that Facebook matter.. I talk to her about it, and I am thinking that she did not tell people that she got a boyfriend because she is doing something behind my back... what to do now?"

To do: get her out of your mind, then think about the girl you want. Finally, compare the girl you want with this girl, does she even come close? If yes, stay. If not, leave. Another reason for clinging to her is --- is this a war? Before you can conquer her, you will fight till you win? Or, you want revenge, like playing games with her mind until she fall for you, then dump her, so that she hurts just like you do, preferably more? You need to ask yourself if you stay, "Why? Only you know".

[jucai]

I want to stay... maybe is my jealously issues. I cannot read her mind and cannot discuss things with her.(because I will get scolded) for example, the Facebook incident.. I told her about it and she was unhappy till I have to let her have her way..(which is not anknowledging me as her boyfriend but as a friend in Facebook) revenge.. no. I need a solution.. I know she love me..but people see that she is single at her profile and start flirting with her... I hate it.. and I can't talk it out.help!

[jucai]

Giving excuss like putting on Facebook that she got a boyfriend will lessen her chances to make new friends... if she is capable of making friends than whether people know if she got boyfriend or not it doesn't matter.. I think she is telling me that... if people know I got boyfriend even if I can make guy friends I cannot flirt much.. because they know I got boyfriend... (I keep having this message..) difficult girlfriend ;(

[authentic]

She already answered your "Do you love me" question. The "I don't know" means "I don't". How can you not know if you love a person? She is looking for more boyfriends, obviously. Her behavior with Facebook says it directly. It is you who are refusing to give up here. If a girl doesn't like you, you have to understand, the more you keep hazzling you, the more she gets annoyed, and finally her annoyance turns to hatred. Not a very pleasant ending. As others have said in this thread, give up.

[jucai]

So... give up?? no other choice?

[authentic]

What is so worthy about a girl who is so stupid that she doesn't even know what kind of guys she wants? This is not a chess game, or a war, which you continue to fight until every single pieces of yours has been eaten, and only then you can forgive yourself for giving up. If you know what love is, you respect others' choices. How different would you be from a rapist who goes against others' will, except you do it emotionally, rather than physically, but just as violent inside? There is no honor

[authentic]

In making a war out of private relationship, just to satisfy your need to win. This is just the aggressive ego at work. As I said, any further hazzling on your side would only worsen the present situation, unless you want her to treat you as an enemy for the rest of your life. If you do that, not only you lose her, you also sow the seeds of hatred & revenge on yourself. If you choose war, you're going to get it. It is your life, your choice.

[jucai]

Well.... let me ask you another question...my girlfriend at Facebook is putting pictures of herself at her profile.. it is nothing obsene. just that I don't like people commenting about her pictures and asking her to show more.. I talk to her about it and she said that I am just jealous.. what do you think? what should I do?

[authentic]

She doesn't even respect you, she is flirting around, looking for guys to play with. She is also playing you. She doesn't treat you as a boyfriend. Whether you're jeolous she doesn't care. Losing you means nothing. It is a waste of time fooling around with immature and childish girl like that. She is operating on a mind that runs wild, no heart, no love. Why are you still struggling to hang onto someone like this? Because your ego want wars with her "other boyfriends"? Be careful of your ego.

[jucai]

I know it no point saying too much, this quesstion is going in circles...i ask myself before, what is the point to continue this relationship? maybe I am really too jealous or have trust issues? I don't know. to her what she is doing now is right but to me it is a problem. maybe she is still young to understand what is commitment. maybe I can't trust here enough. maybe she can't be in my shoes to feel how I feel when I have problems...

[authentic]

All of them combined. Solution: Cut her off from your life. Learn the lesson. Stay away from dumb girls. Work on improving yourself. Find a mature girl. Have a beautiful, faithful, compatible relationship.

[authentic]

Solutions:

1. Find a girl who doesn't make you jeolous.

2. Work on yourself (fear, insecurities, possessiveness, controlling personality, childhood abuses/trauma ...etc.) There are many good articles/videos on the internet on how to deal with jeolousy.

Bear in mind, your happiness is YOUR responsibility; not your girlfriend's. Think about this, and act upon it.

[jucai]

I don't know if it is me or what... maybe is because I am too jealous.. or she is doing things that are making me jealous.

[authentic]

You're on the right track on finding a solution to this issue. a). it is she b) it is you, can be both. You need to isolate the cause. First, look at your past relationships, was jeolousy there all the time? Second, look into your past, have you been abandoned/ neglected/deprived of love, all the way back as a child? What were you parent(s) like, jeolous people themseles, favoring other siblings perhaps (on purpose, or not)? Were you jeolous of your siblings' achievements?

[jucai]

I think maybe it is just me... I try forget about it.

[authentic]

Forgetting (supressing) them cause your present relationship problems. Once you found the cause of jeolousy, more than half the battle is won. Understanding in itself clears up the picture, now your conscious mind knows what it is dealing with, you nned to realiaze that the same factors back then no longer exists, except in your memory. All you need to do is to "wipe out" the emotions associated with history, because they're destructive to the health of your present, & future, relationships.

[jucai]

Sigh I know what you mean.... but sometimes... when I call her at night.. she is very "busy".. busy talking to friends in msn and nearly forget me sometimes.. I get jealous at the fact that she rather accompany her friends than me.. I feel left out. than I know if I talk to her about it than she will tell me that she did accompany me on talking too. ya she did and at the same time talking to her friends on msn.. no more two person time :( ( my attention got diverted)

[jucai]

She is forsaking quality time with me in favor of her online life. I dun know how to talk to her about that.. later I get scolded again.

[authentic]

So you need to ask yourself, "I don't own her like a bike. She is alive. Why am I having problems with her way of making herself happy, i.e. as long as she isn't cheating on me?" Also, it signifies you're DEPENDING on her to keep you happy. This kind of dependence creates tremendous burden on another person; you become a liability rather than an asset. Few relationships can survive when one party can't maintain/create happiness on his/her own, and have to use the other party like a crutch.

[jucai]

I am raging now... just now Facebook... she dun want to accept my relationship request... ok nvm.. maybe she dun want people to know we are in a relationship.. I ask her.. guess what she told me... " oh you know how difficult it is to MAKE firends when people know I got boyfriend...and I dun care what people say.. " that is what she say.. you are a good advisor.. any advice on this?? (what a good "way" to make friends) :(

[authentic]

It means she is shopping around and doesn't know what kind of guy she wants. If she is that immature, it is her responsibility to grow up. Your problem is finding the kind of girl you want, since she apparently isn't the kind. You want the kind who knows the kind of girl she wants, and she says to you, "You are the one I want". Of course she exists. All you need to do is to focus on HER, your subconscious mind will do the search for you. That's how "heavenly couple" meets.

[jucai]

I feel that she has no respect for me at all... I just now ask her if she really love me and care for me.. she told me she don't know.. I still bear a grudge on that Facebook matter.. I talk to her about it, and I am thinking that she did not tell people that she got a boyfriend because she is doing something behind my back... what to do now?

[authentic]

To do: get her out of your mind, then think about the girl you want. Finally, compare the girl you want with this girl, does she even come close? If yes, stay. If not, leave. Another reason for clinging to her is --- is this a war? Before you can conquer her, you will fight till you win? Or, you want revenge, like playing games with her mind until she fall for you, then dump her, so that she hurts just like you do, preferably more? You need to ask yourself is you stay, "Why? Only you know".

[kiolomey]

She will not grow up until she loses you because she's being an insensitive b*tch and getting away with it.

I had a jealous boyfriend once but I always reassured him that he's my only one. I am possessive, too, so I understand what being jealous easily is like.

[xxangel1990xx]

She isn't a good gf. You won't want to hear this but you sound like a p**** for even wanting to stay with her. She sounds like a total bitch. You should finish it. A girlfriend should be there to talk about problems with you.

[joshuathebomb]

oh man..i really am not sure...well she is being unfair because she won't let you say how you feel. if she broke up with you once just because you said how you felt then she has issues. if she likes you enough she wouldn't let such a foolish subject upset her enough to break up with you.

[Littletad]

Your girlfriend should be more understanding, and should want to talk about your problems. There's no other way to help but by listening to you. And it seems she doesn't want to do that.