Would you date a guy with no social circle?

[Anonymous]

I just go play sports every day but I don't really have a social circle

yes

No

answers

[Meenatina]

I am very out going, and did date a guy who was really perfect for me, but he really did not have any friends aside from his coworkers. honestly it did not bother me, until he started being demanding and asking me to stay with him at home, he also refused to go out with my friends because he thought it was awkward cause he wasn't friend with them!! I did stay very patient for about 14 months, but then I had enough and I had to leave him.
the fact that he had no social circle did not bother me, what bothered me was that he wanted me to be like him. so I'd say as long as you don't get weird like my ex did, it shouldn't really be a problem. at least it is not for me.

[mrsingle]

I know someone like that and I see how it can affect the relationship.

I have no friends or girlfriend, if my girlfriend had friends I would welcome the new opportunity to meet people. Yeah at first it would take time to warm up to them and get to know them but I wouldn't be controlling over my date she can see her friends and I'd love to meet them to.

[spuitkaas]

I'm not sure. I think in most cases I won't. I want him to be able to make friends and able to make friends wifh my friends and family and I don't want him to get really clingy because I would be his only social contact and him to be emotionally stable and not shy. Other than that I won't see much problems with it, but I excluded a lot of people without friends already.

[Robertcw]

He may not be clingy. He might actually be the opposite.

It seems possible to just enjoy solo time more than time with friends. Except for a handful of good friends that connect beyond a superficial level.

[Lilac79]

It depends... I've gone through times where I haven't had friends, so I would understand it and be compassionate towards it, but at the same time I can't help but think it would be slightly unsettling. Like I feel like he should have at least a few people he hangs out with sometimes, there's got to be someone out there wiling to be your friend.

[SonicDare]

What if he is severley shy/introverted/social anxiety disorder and has tried to but it doesn't seem to happen?

[SonicDare]

*severely

[mrsingle]

@SonicDare clearly people like that get rejected

[BellePepper]

It's a serious problem in my eyes. Like I KNOW it's hard to make friends at our age, but it's just not healthy to not have *any* friends. That means he didn't have friends through school and he doesn't make friends now. There's something more than shitty people and luck going on there and it's not good.

[Asker]

ur mean

[BellePepper]

Bummer.

[SonicDare]

Did you ever consider he might have moved to a new country or across country, or situations where he conquered a drug addiction, etc. but before he had done so, he drove all his friends away?

[BellePepper]

@SonicDare even if he moved countries he should still have friends at home and on like Facebook.

I don't want to be a crutch for a recovering addict. I know I have an addictive personality so we'd be a bad mix.

[SonicDare]

Facebook is for younger people. Do you think your grannie should be on Facebook? (BTW I opened a FB account but I vehemently disagree with most of my so-called friends over politics and religion (which I found out by their FB posts), so I stopped posting 5 years ago. Your generation places too much faith in online interactions. I read somewhere about a Tinder-like app where this mass murderer was just caught. IRL is the best way, then you can judge them up-front. On FB there are plenty of phony accounts, I don't trust it at ALL.

This country was based on freedom. Find out what pop star Prince (a man with multiple Platinum records) thinks about social media.

[BellePepper]

@SonicDare You're going to seriously tell me that if you were going abroad for a prolonged period of time, you wouldn't use a FREE and easily accessible program that ALL of your friends have access to to keep up with them? Really?

[SonicDare]

No, because the friends I have (especially European ones) are outdoor, social people who meet in cafes and in clubs and museums. IRL. We don't need phony FB friends, we are artists, intellectuals, who actually create things, we don't live vicariously. We are leaders, we don't follow trends, we create them.

[BellePepper]

@SonicDare Ugh. So if you have a group of Luddite friends. Why would you be worried about people saying you don't have friends?

[SonicDare]

We are not Luddites, I am into hi tech and know quite a lot about new technology. We do not need FB 'friends' to validate our worth, aposter nd frankly, I don't care what a FB felt like when she did a selfie. Selfies are narcissistic, I honestly don't care what my friends' taste in food is unless I am planing on cooking for them. It does not help define them as being loyal or back-stabbing, or good with kids, etc. Boundaries, it's all about boundaries, this FB thing is co-dependent becasue the boundaries are not respected. People should have privacy, I should not have to tell you whether I like pizza, it's none of your damn business.

[Asker]

Well i'll share why I personally don't have any friends and maybe give you another perspective like hey... I'm not a bad person. It sucks that Im being judged like one

1. All of the friends I had in elementary school, I left them behind when I moved to the usa. There was no social media back then. I don't know why but I didn't feel the need to keep in contact with them for some reason. I just went with the flow of my parents decisions

2. I went no contact with all of my friends after high school graduation. My health hadn't been good since I was 15, that was the beginning of my chronic pain and I just simply didn't want to drag anyone into my life until I was "good to go". I just didn't wanna be a burden to anyone and just wanted to deal with it myself. That's one of the things chronic pain does to you, it makes you feel worthless and a burden to people, it destroys relationships.

[Asker]

Just last year, I was in the ER 10 times, 10 goddamn times. Twice I had an EKG at an UC and they thought I was having a heart attack, had to get an ambulance. Everyday I thought I was gonna die, chest pains 24/7... last year was so fuckin bad. My point is, who wants to be a friend to this? Do you want to know that your friend is suffering so much? It will affect you as well, it will stress you as well. I feel like I don't deserve to have friends, they can find a better friend, a better boyfriend, not someone this broken. I choose to not have to put anyone through this. That's how I feel and my reason why I withdraw from any relationships.

Well, I guess after all, you're right when you say there's something going on there and it's not good.

[BellePepper]

@SonicDare How did this go from me expressing concern over romantic prospects without a social circle to you giving me your treatise on how technology is ruining society? Like does your comment have *anything* to do with my original statement?

[SonicDare]

LOL I never said tech is bad, quite the contrary, but it is a CRUTCH. Can you make a fire unassisted with no lighter fluid or matches? Can you make friends if you are in a time machine and there is no internet in the time you land? IF not, you are deficient.

[BellePepper]

If you're withdrawing from platonic relationships, a romantic relationship is the last thing you need in your life. It would be selfish of both parties to put that stress on one another in a situation like that.

I'm not saying people with no friends are *bad* people. I'm saying they're not good romantic prospects.

[mrsingle]

Ridiculous comment, you clearly judge people by what you see and not by what you know. If everyone thought like you nobody would have friends, ever. There are so many reasons someone may not have friends. Unless you find a reason that you don't like (like sex offender or was in jail) most others reasons mean nothing. People can have no friends because they work hard, care for a sick family member, are in college, recently moved, can't find anyone they share interests with. Those reasons can change and should not be a red flag to not try to be friends with that person that's so unfair!

[BellePepper]

@SonicDare How is technology a CRUTCH? If you move to a new place and use technology to keep up with people from the old place, how is that bad. You said a reason for people to not have friends is because they moved, but that's not an excuse anymore. Moreover it's a ridiculous excuse. Next thing I know you're going to tell us that writing letters and the postal system are crutches.

If a person has NO social circle. THERE IS A PROBLEM.

[Asker]

Well, I guess you've confirmed what I've thought all this time, I don't deserve any relationships. I feel so fucking stupid sharing details about my life, never again. Maybe I should just fake it to everyone.

Whatever, lesson learned, disawoving this question and disabling notifications. Let this question die off please

[BellePepper]

@mrsingle No, absolutely not. If you work, then you can work friends. If you take care of aging parents, you should have friends from support groups. If you are in college, you should REALLY have friends. Like I can't even imagine going through college without friends. Even if you moved recently, you should have friends from the last place you lived.

We're not talking about not being FRIENDS with someone with no social circle. We're talking about not DATING someone with no friends.

[mrsingle]

Some people choose no friends because they stay focused on thei goal. Working night shift your resting during the day when most people are up so you don't have a social life. I went through college with no friends, ever. I went in, did my work, and never went out with others. My grades reflected this in a good way while others partying were almost failing. If a girl says she won't date me because I have no friends I wouldn't want to date her anyway...

[SonicDare]

Wait! you are saying you can judge that having friends, or the inability to have the skills to make them is evil or wrong? You can seriously say all people should be social, that it is REQUIRED? What about Buddhist monks that meditate on mountaintops for years? They are garbage? You will never have any empathy. Aspergers, IQ challenged people are people too. I bet you would disown your kids if they lacked social skills. DONE.

[BellePepper]

Oh my god. We both know you're depressed, OP, so stop being melodramatic. Are you seeing a therapist? Have you investigated support groups?

@mrsingle Someone *choosing* to have no friends is even worse. I know lots of people who work nights and graveyard and they have friends. LOL having friends doesn't mean you party. Like at all XD Awww now I feel bad for you :c You should take a class or join a club or something

@SonicDare I am so glad your part in this conversation is over. Thanks for all your... thoughts.

[mrsingle]

Sorry, if you have this much time to argue and spend online I doubt you have many friends and look for attention here to find self worth. Surprised nobody mentioned that already.

[BellePepper]

@mrsingle LOL Okay XD

[MrNameless]

lol that's some bull shit. Just because he doesn't have friends at the moment, doesn't mean he never did. He could have recently moved/or frends moved. Also Friends come and go always. True friends that stick with you are hard to find nowadays, and it takes effort to maintain from both parties.

[BellePepper]

@MrNameless Even if you move, you should still have friends from where you moved from. You are literally like the 3rd guy I've told this to :/

"true" friends are the kind of friends you can go see after not talking for 10 years and you'd still be able to talk and hang out np. They always count.

[longjohndan]

I think it'll be a problem for ya. First, having no social circle limits your opportunities. Then once you get a girl, it just doesn't seem well balanced, the girls that are ok with it probably don't have much of a social circle.

my ex was like this, she was way to needy, I had to be everything for her constantly. Got really tiresome. I tried to get her involved with some gf's and stuff but she was content just to be without close friends... and consequently drove me crazy.

[Roostah]

Just gonna leave this here buddy

wisdomchief.com/.../...s-Between-Men-And-Women.jpg

[ejx629]

That's funny and accurate.

[mrsingle]

That's all me, scary!

[MrNameless]

Hit the nail on the donkey tail. Guys have to always find ways to be interesting, take initiative, and have an ambitious goal.

[nfigure]

Ahahahaha so true. xD... =(

[Dragonblood21]

It's sort of painful how true this is...

[MissNowhere]

Yes. I don't have a social circle either so it's no big deal. You're dating the person, not their social circle.

[LovelyDisquiet]

If it's not by choice. Then yeah.

I don't either at the moment, but it's because I'm more picky about who I hang out with now, then I was in high school.

[Anonymous]

Depends why he has no social circle. But it wouldn't affect my opinion about him as long as he has strong character

[Joga_Dust]

I'd prefer it because I don't have any friends either. That way he couldn't think I was a loser unless he's a hypocrite lol.

[Prettygurl12]

I don't have a social circle either and I managed to find a guy who tolerates that lmao

[TheBasil]

Yes, because i have no social circle myself haha...

So we can just be lonely losers together <3

[Anonymous]

I dont really have one either - I socialise at work a bit and at the gym but then I go home.

[Dez22]

Yes becuase I'm the same way!!!

[Anonymous]

Lmao i clicked answers and around 29 guys hit that button

[Anonymous]

These women are lying...

[Anonymous]

Sure why not