Why do people seem to avoid me?

[Anonymous]

Ok, serious question. Why do people seem to avoid me, guys in particular? I have a few good friends, but most girls, especially those who've known me a long time, don't like me or start to avoid me (especially once they get boyfriends). I admit that I'm not super outgoing; I have what's known as 'resting bitch face', but I do try to be friendly to everyone, give everyone a fair chance, and I think I'm a pretty nice considerate person. I am shy, quiet, and tend to listen more than I talk, but I can be an extrovert when I'm in the mood. People have told me repeatedly I don't smile enough, that I'm super serious, mature, and 'wise beyond my years'. I've never been the one that has a huge group of friends, and I've never been the girl that guys approach. Mostly, I get stared at a lot, but the amount of guys that actually dare to approach me is miniscule at best. I get tired of being the one who has to make all the effort and initiate things. I'm not a bitch, I'm not ugly, and I have a nice body and personality, but maybe I'm not seen as approachable? Is there a way to get out of this rut I seem to be in? I would especially like a guy's take on this, but a girl's opinion is welcome as well.

[needsanswers100]

Okay so I think I am well suited to answer this question. As far as some of your friends starting to avoid you it is probably a combination of them stoping socialization with as many people when they are in a couple, possibly some kind of jealousy, and people maturing and starting to form more close-nit friend groups as you get older. As far as men not approaching you, you will slowly learn that we men flirt with you more when you seem more approachable. The perfect example is Camron Diez (at least the character she plays in movies). The exact opposite would be Kristen Stewart in all of those twilight movies. If you had to approach a random person wouldn't you pick someone who looks like Camron instead of Kristen? Keep in mind that you should not change your personality to accomplish this. When you are talking to a group of people in any setting besides a professional (work related) one then it is an opportunity to gain friends and maybe develop the relationship further. In those situations be your most optimistic, bubbly, and outgoing self you can be. You will find that the power of positivity is contagious and people will gravitate to you more. I am an approachable guy and although it doesn't much help me for dating (because I am supposed to initiate things because I am a guy) it does make meeting people outside of my zone of usual friends easier because people are attracted to my personality. Don't be afraid to flirt with guys, we love it, it makes our day, just don't go over the top (a line you will have to find our your own!). I hope this helps!!

[pervertedjester]

As a sufferer of RBF myself, I like think it's armor against weak fools who would just waste my time.