Women are sometimes afraid or are way too blunt. I told this guy I would date and have sex with him If I was older and allowed to date, a couple of years ago. He loved that I am that way, I'm blunt like a knife but in a classy kind of way. Maybe she wasn't completely comfortable with you? or was timid or shy? You should ask the next woman you date if she'll do this.
both sexes tell little lies to opposite sex. would you tell your girl friend the trouth if she asks do i look fat or does this dress make my butt look fat. no would would probably lie to save her feelings because you love her any way and you dont want to hurt her
I'm very straight forward and blunt, and because of it I get the label of bitch quite frequently, even though I'm not a bitchy person, I'm just honest. I cannot comprehend why some/most women are like this, I've met quite a few and it frustrates me to no end. I think it might be because she doesn't want to be perceived as intimidating or not feminine. Possibly mind games, or insecurities. There are countless reasons why some girls are like that, probably a slightly different one for each girl.
I am a very straight forward person. A lot of men (and some women) hate this about me. If you answer straight out, your often called bitchy. I'm not even rude about it, I just don't go and sugar coat everything. If you ask a question, I'll give a truthful answer. If you didn't want to know the truth, why ask? I can see why someone who cares more about what others think wouldn't be so straight forward. They are afraid that others won't like them or will attack them for their opinions.
It may be a socially learned thing, or a mismatch of expectations. I do think it's sexist to say women are just like this... but there may be a gendered trend. I am very much a tell it like it is kinda person, and even still I sometimes find it easier to blunt in text over in person
Embarrassed to admit I suffer from this as well. I can't speak for every girl but for me I find it hard to straightforward for a number of reasons. Sometimes it's the fear of rejection, sometimes it's the fear of being yelled at or possibly put in an even worse situation. Sometimes it's hard to be straightforward because you don't want to hurt the person you're speaking to. It's a number of reasons.
Watch any movie ever involving a romantic relationship between a man and a woman. Notice how they interact.
We learn from movies. Many people don't think about it or realize what's happening, but most of us subconsciously view movies as how-to guides when it comes to navigating all different types of relationships. Hollywood and movie makers (primarily men, mind you), teach us that we should behave that way.
I just like to cut through the bullshit and be straightforward. It seems a more direct and clear way to communicate which men tend to understand. However, it's the unsugarcoated truth and sometimes they can't handle it. There's no reason to be mean but if I am not being forthcoming I fear some sort of danger as a consequence. Anyone who doesn't understand that isn't living in the real world.
If you have preface something by denying you're something bad... It's probably not a good thing to say.
"I'm not sexist but..." "I'm not racist but..." "I don't hate all Muslims but..."
Just don't. Please.
5
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Because we're constantly judged by guys and growing up we've kind of been taught not to say things. We're taught that guys will get freaked out if we say exactly what's on our minds. We don't want people to see us as "the crazy girlfriend" who said I Love You too soon or admitted she was jealous of other girls or whatever.
To be honest, for a perfect example, when it comes to this guy that I just started seeing, I am afraid of him viewing me as clingy or needy when I just want to be straightforward with him. It's a fear of male judgement, because some guys are just so quick to run. :(
if a guy runs away because you were straightforward and direct, he was the wrong dude anyway.
I express my thoughts about dating in a very "beautiful mind" (movie) kind of way too. (you know the picnic scene where he basically says, ok we can do this dating thing a few times, beat around the bush until we have both in theory waited enough to have sex, OR we can just skip that whole sharade and get to the point of what we are doing here)
I did this but more in regards of my intentions of why I was dating. I wasn't dating "just for fun" I was looking for a relationship down the line, so if they were in it only for the fun of it, they may please move along because I wasn't going to waste time on a commitment phobe. Many guys were really startled and didn't know what to do with this forwardness. They weren't the right ones. Then one guy understood what I was saying and was relieved I saw it like he did, and now he is my fiance. It all works out ;-)
@bomba78 He already was the wrong one. Not a good personality, not very trustworthy. I am so happy for you and your fiance and hope to meet a decent trustworthy man, as well, someday. :)
I am very straightforward because I get confused when people aren't with me. guys just feel like then can tell guys anything while most of the time girls are judged for having an opinion at all. It's gotten better over the last few decades, but it's a very old tradition that is traced back as far at we can go.
Wish they were, when something's bothering you put it on the table and address so we can resolve, I don't like conflict as much as the next person, but when I ask what's the matter you say nothing. Your actions speak that there still is an issue, so don't wallow in it and hold a grudge, life's too short and whatever it is isn't all that important anyway, we will all be dust one day anyways, so be happy
Insecurity (just as men) and, more importantly, fear of being deemed sluts (which is a cross no man ever bore). [God forbid a woman is straightforward - because who knows how many times she's done it before - she must be a slut.]
I am very direct, say what i mean and mean what i say, i think a woman may come across as not straightforward when she somehow feels intimidated by a man or is trying to protect him by beating around the bush trying not to hurt his feelings or ego, but i am always straightforward, that way there are no mistakes about anything.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I have met some very blunt and straightforward women. Other women are not.
I can be indecisive sometimes; I'm trying to go through the pros and cons of doing something in my head before making a choice. Sometimes my boyfriend was my sounding board for that, but only if he didn't mind. I just want what's best for everyone involved. That is the only time I'm not as straightforward.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I'm guilty of this. I myself don't say what I'm thinking a lot of the time because I'm poor at communicating how I feel without causing an argument or insulting my boyfriend. It's just getting the wording right so you can express what you're thinking without it sounding harsh. I'm always afraid it'll upset him.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Most (not all) women don't like confrontation. You haven't figured out women are notoriously passive aggressive? Especially the case for those that are younger. Women that aren't this way... forward and to the point usually don't get along with other women.
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Women are sometimes afraid or are way too blunt. I told this guy I would date and have sex with him If I was older and allowed to date, a couple of years ago. He loved that I am that way, I'm blunt like a knife but in a classy kind of way. Maybe she wasn't completely comfortable with you? or was timid or shy? You should ask the next woman you date if she'll do this.
both sexes tell little lies to opposite sex. would you tell your girl friend the trouth if she asks do i look fat or does this dress make my butt look fat. no would would probably lie to save her feelings because you love her any way and you dont want to hurt her
I'm very straight forward and blunt, and because of it I get the label of bitch quite frequently, even though I'm not a bitchy person, I'm just honest. I cannot comprehend why some/most women are like this, I've met quite a few and it frustrates me to no end. I think it might be because she doesn't want to be perceived as intimidating or not feminine. Possibly mind games, or insecurities. There are countless reasons why some girls are like that, probably a slightly different one for each girl.
I am a very straight forward person. A lot of men (and some women) hate this about me. If you answer straight out, your often called bitchy. I'm not even rude about it, I just don't go and sugar coat everything. If you ask a question, I'll give a truthful answer. If you didn't want to know the truth, why ask? I can see why someone who cares more about what others think wouldn't be so straight forward. They are afraid that others won't like them or will attack them for their opinions.
It may be a socially learned thing, or a mismatch of expectations. I do think it's sexist to say women are just like this... but there may be a gendered trend. I am very much a tell it like it is kinda person, and even still I sometimes find it easier to blunt in text over in person
Embarrassed to admit I suffer from this as well. I can't speak for every girl but for me I find it hard to straightforward for a number of reasons. Sometimes it's the fear of rejection, sometimes it's the fear of being yelled at or possibly put in an even worse situation. Sometimes it's hard to be straightforward because you don't want to hurt the person you're speaking to. It's a number of reasons.
Watch any movie ever involving a romantic relationship between a man and a woman. Notice how they interact.
We learn from movies. Many people don't think about it or realize what's happening, but most of us subconsciously view movies as how-to guides when it comes to navigating all different types of relationships. Hollywood and movie makers (primarily men, mind you), teach us that we should behave that way.
I just like to cut through the bullshit and be straightforward. It seems a more direct and clear way to communicate which men tend to understand. However, it's the unsugarcoated truth and sometimes they can't handle it. There's no reason to be mean but if I am not being forthcoming I fear some sort of danger as a consequence. Anyone who doesn't understand that isn't living in the real world.
By the way, I deserve Most Helpful.
Good rule of thumb...
If you have preface something by denying you're something bad... It's probably not a good thing to say.
"I'm not sexist but..."
"I'm not racist but..."
"I don't hate all Muslims but..."
Just don't. Please.
Because we're constantly judged by guys and growing up we've kind of been taught not to say things. We're taught that guys will get freaked out if we say exactly what's on our minds. We don't want people to see us as "the crazy girlfriend" who said I Love You too soon or admitted she was jealous of other girls or whatever.
Socialization. The worst thing that a woman can do is upset a man because then she opens herself up to violence.
it makes no sense.
Where the fuck do you live?
To be honest, for a perfect example, when it comes to this guy that I just started seeing, I am afraid of him viewing me as clingy or needy when I just want to be straightforward with him. It's a fear of male judgement, because some guys are just so quick to run. :(
if a guy runs away because you were straightforward and direct, he was the wrong dude anyway.
I express my thoughts about dating in a very "beautiful mind" (movie) kind of way too. (you know the picnic scene where he basically says, ok we can do this dating thing a few times, beat around the bush until we have both in theory waited enough to have sex, OR we can just skip that whole sharade and get to the point of what we are doing here)
I did this but more in regards of my intentions of why I was dating. I wasn't dating "just for fun" I was looking for a relationship down the line, so if they were in it only for the fun of it, they may please move along because I wasn't going to waste time on a commitment phobe. Many guys were really startled and didn't know what to do with this forwardness. They weren't the right ones. Then one guy understood what I was saying and was relieved I saw it like he did, and now he is my fiance. It all works out ;-)
@bomba78 He already was the wrong one. Not a good personality, not very trustworthy. I am so happy for you and your fiance and hope to meet a decent trustworthy man, as well, someday. :)
I am very straightforward because I get confused when people aren't with me.
guys just feel like then can tell guys anything while most of the time girls are judged for having an opinion at all. It's gotten better over the last few decades, but it's a very old tradition that is traced back as far at we can go.
Wish they were, when something's bothering you put it on the table and address so we can resolve, I don't like conflict as much as the next person, but when I ask what's the matter you say nothing. Your actions speak that there still is an issue, so don't wallow in it and hold a grudge, life's too short and whatever it is isn't all that important anyway, we will all be dust one day anyways, so be happy
Insecurity (just as men) and, more importantly, fear of being deemed sluts (which is a cross no man ever bore).
[God forbid a woman is straightforward - because who knows how many times she's done it before - she must be a slut.]
+ what @MissNowhere said > guys are skittish as all Hell...
Um, what?
How would you KNOW whether they are doing this? Are you a mind reader?
that all depends on if we truly care. sadly, it doesn't always make it any easier for us to form a solution.
Exactly right! Why would guys even want to look for hidden meanings or say girls aren't honest enough anyway?
I am very direct, say what i mean and mean what i say, i think a woman may come across as not straightforward when she somehow feels intimidated by a man or is trying to protect him by beating around the bush trying not to hurt his feelings or ego, but i am always straightforward, that way there are no mistakes about anything.
I have met some very blunt and straightforward women. Other women are not.
I can be indecisive sometimes; I'm trying to go through the pros and cons of doing something in my head before making a choice. Sometimes my boyfriend was my sounding board for that, but only if he didn't mind. I just want what's best for everyone involved. That is the only time I'm not as straightforward.
I'm guilty of this. I myself don't say what I'm thinking a lot of the time because I'm poor at communicating how I feel without causing an argument or insulting my boyfriend. It's just getting the wording right so you can express what you're thinking without it sounding harsh. I'm always afraid it'll upset him.
Most (not all) women don't like confrontation. You haven't figured out women are notoriously passive aggressive? Especially the case for those that are younger. Women that aren't this way... forward and to the point usually don't get along with other women.