Why do girls get defensive and angry when you call them out on their lies?

[Anonymous]

For examples:

1. You ask a girl to dance at a club and she tells you she doesn't dance. You see 5-10 minutes later she is grinding up on some nigga and when you call her out on it she acts like you are attacking her for no reason and personally insulting her without reason.

2. You ask a girl out and she tells you she is a lesbian at a bar. Only for moments later to see her making out with some dude sitting on a chair.

3. Or you get a girls number and you text her for a date and she hits you with some reason on why you can't come. You do a background check with people she mention in her story and everyone confirms she was lying. You call this chick out on her lie and she get defensive.

4. Sometimes women will make up the most absurd lies ON THE SPOT WITH 0 EFFORT that you have to be pretty retarded to believe and when you don't buy into the BS they get defensive.

I mean if you going to reject someone just be honest about it. I get men who are total bitches do this too but it's more a female thing.

in addition, when a guy is an asshole to girl and she doesn't like him she'll reject him directly and not hand him the number. Yet, when a guy is sweet and caring she'll hand him her number and things can go down a couple ways:

1) She never return his calls

or

2) She strings his ass along for attention

"girls will say this is OK because they can continue to string guys along on 'hope'. when they can sell hope, they can get things & keep that guy available as an option for her needs (emotional, physical, monetary, etc)."

[Anonymous]

Seems like they're too cowardly to say no, and they are just hoping you take the hint. It's not just girls who this. Guys do it too. A few years ago, I was close to this guy and I thought perhaps he was interested. So I asked him if he wanted to hang out later. He told me that he had to work, but we could some other time. Later on, I went out with a girl friend to get some frozen yogurt. He happened to be at the frozen yogurt place with a girl. We just went in and got our yogurt and left. I wasn't going to confront him on a date. I just find that low, even if he did lie to me.

Later I texted him though, and told him that I would have understood if he wasn't interested, and that I hoped it didn't change our friendship. I got a text back telling me to fuck off and that I shouldn't be stalking him.

I'm not a stalker, and it was a coincidence that we went to the frozen yogurt place when he was there. It was my friends idea to go there anyway. Later on, he did apologize to me. He told me it was an overreaction and that my friend had actually talked to him. He told me that he wanted to be friends, and if I still wanted a date we could go out. We remained friends, but I couldn't date him after that.

[jesshkah]

I agree with you, if they're not interested they should just reject outright instead of trying to make something up.. but a lot of times girls feel pressured because if they just say no they're called a bitch or get questioned why so it's kinda a lose lose for some. As for why they get defensive, I feel like everyone gets defensive when called out on some shit lol. It's also likely because they kinda hoped that you would just leave them alone since they said no the first time, but you came up again and this time just to call them out. I think most hope that you'll just leave them alone after the first time.

I wouldn't say its OKAY for a girl to string along a nice guy, and I definitely try my absolute best not to do that, but it's like you said.. women like attention and they like feeling loved and wanted and for some there might actually be a chance of them thinking that they'd want to be with that guy. (I know most guys will disagree with that lol)

[Asker]

@KaylaS91

" I think it's pretty pathetic. I could understand if someone was following you from post to post and making stupid comments and shit purposely to annoy you, but blocking because you disagree with someone? Pathetic. What the fuck are you here for if you aren't prepared to have your views challenged?"

[jesshkah]

Wait what lol. Why is this on my opinion?

[heavenonearth]

In all of those cases, it boils down to: she's just not interested/not that into you.

Save yourself some grief and don't worry about all the evasive ways they say that. Everyone who hates confrontation does this. Yeah, they're lying, but we all know what the true reason is, so who really cares? The bottom line is the person's not into you, and they can make whatever excuse they want, but it comes down to the same thing.

Calling them out on it is a waste of time. You can if you want to, but I find it's more productive and less of a headache to just move on with life and find someone who is interested in you.

[Mesonfielde]

She's getting defensive because the lie isn't what matters, but the fact that she wants you to leave her alone for some reason or another. Probably because you're creepy and don't get her subtle social cue, and calling her out is a possible physical threat afterwards.

[konge]

Called them out on their lie and being a flake. Then hinted for them to apologize a few times, then I called them out directly on it and ended any relationship. I gave them their chance to apologize already, since they failed I want nothing more to do with them.

[James0]

They aren't interested plain and simple; that first one where she can't dance reminds me of one girl who I asked at a rave; she told me the same thing that she couldn't dance but after I left her to dance in the break dance circle she caught me and asked me to dance :3 good ending

But seriously you should see what happens... especially on the news to understand where they are coming from

[Asker]

There are psychos in both genders. Girls who would slash your tires, stalk you, accuse you of false rape and send their male family members after you if they didn't get what they want.

I don't see the majority of guys lying to girls constantly who they are just not interested in.

[James0]

Actually there a lot on both sides; guys lying to girl just to get into their pants is a classic example. Both sides have their fair share.

Also; I was wondering why you gave examples in the bar and dance scenes

[Asker]

"Actually there a lot on both sides; guys lying to girl just to get into their pants is a classic example. Both sides have their fair share. "

Again lying to get into a girls pants is one thing. And yes a lot of sleezy guys do this to get laid.

However, when it comes to rejection guys will tell you straight up most of the time they are just not interested and end things there. Girls however, come up with ridiculous lies and sometime extend things out when the man could just cut his losses and move on.

[James0]

Also there are guys who lead girls on to. Every example had their own counterpart to it. I have seen guys and girls who would not end a relationship because of many things and should like you said should cut their losses

[Asker]

Yes but you are switching the dynamic of the relationship to later on well after both parties have an agreed upon interest. I'm talking about the initial meeting when you are finding out if she is interested.

[kaylaS91]

I'd think that it's normal for most human beings to not welcome getting 'call on their lies'.

I mean... you probably wouldn't be happy to hear it if I told you that perhaps these girls aren't always lying. That they tell you they don't want to dance, then are dancing with another guy 10 minutes later, because they simply had no interest in you?

[Asker]

"That they tell you they don't want to dance" is not the same as telling someone "They can't dance or really dance".

One is straight up a direct and understood rejection that a man would bow out and understand from. The latter is a BS excuse to not wanting to dance that is shown to be false when another guy comes into picture.

[kaylaS91]

Not really. A lot of people would just say they don't want to if, in reality, they simply can't. Thiugh I can't imagine someone having trouble with simply finding the rythm.

But yea sure, believe what you want. Though you're the common denominator in everything, the issue lies with everyone but you.

[Asker]

Umm I'm not following you here. Saying "You don't want to" is a direct clear indication that you do not want to dance with me and is fine because you made your intention clear and upfront.

Saying you "you can't" i. e. giving an excuse as to why you are unable to dance with me only for mere moments later prove that said excuse is a lie and not true for the "right guy" shows a blatant disrespect to the person. And now the person not only relies that there is a rejection but they were taken by that person to a fool.

[Asker]

*And now the person not only realize that there is a rejection but they were taken by that person to be a fool.

[kaylaS91]

I just don't know who would be so stupid to say they're incapable of something as simple as dancing.

[Asker]

You wouldn't believe some of the lies some girls say when their not interested. Like one girl saying her religion "doesn't allow her to date" (she is Catholic).

[kaylaS91]

... how do you know that's a lie?

[Asker]

Because I'm catholic and that's not a thing.

Also...

answers.yahoo.com/.../index

[kaylaS91]

.. you struggle with realizing that not all Catholics are like you, I see.

[anonymous83]

This is not a gendered question. I have had many guys get defensive when I call them on their sh*t. I think the issue is that they get defensive because they don't want to have to explain their reasons. It's dumb, and they should have just told you the truth but people who lie just want others to live with it.

[aliceinwonderland69]

It's a way of rejecting you without too much awkwardness. We expect you to get that we were rejecting you and move on with your life rather than being a little bitch about it. We are indirect to avoid confrontation cos lots of guys take rejection badly.

[Asker]

But lying really doesn't help though. The person your lying to if they are a person who gets "butthurt" and violent/aggressive from being rejected will act out even more when they find out it was a lie. They weren't just rejected but lied to and many people don't take kindly to being deceived.

So lying essentially just delays confrontation/awkardness and can in fact exacerbate it. The only time I see lying working out in a girl's favor is if she about to move from the location (bar, club, or some other place) and the person will never find out. Other than that it will just blow back up in her face.

A guy who can take being rejected does not need to be lied to and will not make things awkward and just move on. A guy who cannot is going to act like an ass when he finds out you lie to him or reject him and his retaliation would be worse than if you had just straight up rejected him.

[Anonymous]

Some guys will take no for an answer when you reject them directly. I have met guys who have asked me why i did not give them my number I rejected them, I was not even friends with them they just cold approached me

I do not lead men on so it's really creepy and crazy when a guy is desperate or mad because a girl turned them down

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying lying is ok, it's not, but you confront random girls you don't even know at all in the ways you described? Sounds like a very odd and psycho thing to do. I would understand more if it was someone you actually knew but some random girl at the club, really? It's not normal behaviour.

[apple24]

Well thats not me! I tell you str8 up! I just don't like you!

[Asker]

cdn.graphicsfactory.com/.../1205909-Goodgirl.gif

filler

[apple24]

Shut up and give me an up vote! LOL!

[konge]

Gave you one too. I like you :)

[apple24]

@konge Yay! (:

[Anonymous]

I think it's more indicative of a culture where women feel like they can't say no outright without fear of negative and violent repercussions for themselves.

And dude, anyone in the world is going to get defensive the minute they're accused of things.

[lanternhill]

That first paragraph. Women have been attacked, occasionally shot or worse, for saying no to a guy. It's not that uncommon. Also we're socially conditioned to try not to hurt feelings.
It doesn't matter whether you personally are nice and can't imagine doing that. It's a defense mechanism against all guys just in case.

[Opinion Owner]

@lanternhill exactly.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

Well we just can't win. If we flat out reject you and cut out the bull, some guys get pissy and rude. If we lie to soften the blow, some guys get pissy and rude. What's a girl to do?

[Viperkiss]

If guys are going to get pussy and rude anyway then you may as well tell the truth. At least you did the right thing. Lying is not justified by a possible outcome.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

@Viperkiss actually according to the German philosopher Immanuel Kant, it is most moral to consider all outcomes before making a decision.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

I said some guys, there is still the chance that if you lie or don't lie the guy ends up being a decent human being who understands you can't win 'em all.

[Viperkiss]

Best not to lie. Then your hands are clean. If a guy reacts badly then he's a tool. But at least you can hold your head up and live honestly.

[SarahsSummer]

Why get butt hurt? She doesn't owe a complete stranger an explanation as to her lack of interest. Your calling her out just makes her more sure of it, and angry. How bout just move on?

[Curmudgeon]

You can call them out on it, once, but then just plain move on. Don't dwell on her. You dodged a proverbial bullet after all.

[Asker]

So would you say to stay away from any woman who lies for petty reason?

Because that's like the majority of the female population and they always seem to use the excuse of "not wanting to hurt the guy's feeling" or "I just didn't want to kill the mood" for doing so.

[Curmudgeon]

Essentially, yes. You have to sort through a lot of dirt to find the diamond, don't you know.

[Jxpxtxr]

It's not even only girls lol guys are just the same - I guess nobody like their lies to come out 💁🏻

[esparc]

Guys can get just as defensive. No one likes someone calling them out on a lie.

[Asker]

I said that in my question when you were trying to defend the females. However, most guys I know don't come up with petty lies when they are rejecting a girl.

[esparc]

I completely agree with you. I know I don't.

[michelle_applehead]

I think it's because if girls were truthful to you in these situations, you'd be all butthurt. It is definitely because those girls weren't interested in you. DUH.

[Asker]

And yet you guys think lying and insulting someone intelligence is less butturt. You know just like how you guys complain, cry and bitch about guys lying to you about wanting something serious but only said that so he could use you for sex.

Men don't have fragile egos that we can't take rejection. hell, men are rejected waaaaayy more than women to get even a date/number. So this whole thing about women trying to spare men's feeling doesn't really hold up.

You are not interested just say that. Instead of wasting time coming up with ridiculous lies, wasting people time.

[michelle_applehead]

Ah. I get you. Well dude, it's them. I didn't do that to you. Some girls choose to lie for their own reasons unknown to me. Hop off.

[Asker]

But lying really doesn't help though. The person your lying to if they are a person who gets "butthurt" and violent/aggressive if you lie to them are still going to get this way if they find out you lied to them.

So lying essentially just delays confrontation and can in fact excaberate it. The only time I see lying working out in a girl's favor is if she about to move from the location (bar, club) and the person will never find out. Other than that it will just blow back up in her face.

A guy who can take being rejected does not need to be lied to. A guy who cannot is going to act like an ass when he finds out you lie to him or reject him.

[michelle_applehead]

Some think in a different way. We just want to get out of the mess. So lying is quick. And it certainly doesn't waste time. Stop emphasizing on the word butthurt. That literally shows you're butthurt. Au revoir.

[Anonymous]

Because most females have a child mentality and are incapable of criticism or judgement. Like children they get defensive and emotional when confronted and act out instead of taking responsibility for their actions. They try to blame others or make excuses.
This is why society kid gloves women... they are essentially the same.

[Anonymous]

cause thats how we are we think we can get away with it and when we are caught we act like a bitch it just girls i mean i dont like it but we are human

[Anonymous]

Because it's ok if they do it, but you'd better not dare. I think it's funny the things they can get upset about and they do the exact same things but they don't see it.