Do you think women fear rejection more than men?

[ManOnFire]

It always seems to be that whenever a woman gets rejected she comes up with all kinds of reasons to explain away why the guy wasn't interested in her other than the simple fact that he wasn't interested. This is true even when the girl has asked a guy for sex and he turned her down. When guys are rejected they usually see it as just that: she wasn't interested. It seems like women are programmed to think they're that desirable that if no guys are interested then her ego tells her it can't be her, it has to be some other reason. What do you think?

[BuchitaBuchys]

Most men are not as calm about rejection as you make them out to be lol
On this site alone, "why don't women date good guys like me?" And then he goes on a bitter rant saying how terrible women are.

I've rejected quite a few guys, I've had them:
-threaten to kill himself over it.
-stalk me over it.
-call me a ugly, flat, slutty, whore, stuck up etc
-tell me I'll end up alone forever
-ask "why not?" "Why not?" "Why not?" Like crazy.

I don't know why people in general can't handle rejection. If s/he doesn't like you, move on.
I've been rejected by all men I've asked out and of course it hurts but they just weren't the ones for me.

[BuchitaBuchys]

But I guess it's because women aren't used to being rejected.

And seriously, I want to see where all the men that "When guys are rejected they usually see it as just that: she wasn't interested" because there are countless questions and takes on this site alone about how women are unreasonable, gold diggers, can't choose the right men etc lol

Where the fuck are you getting that men are so calm about rejection?

[ManOnFire]

@BuchitaBuchys www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a29140-why-i-think-women-are-more-sensitive-to-rejection

And don't comment if you don't read the whole thing.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Lol yet you haven't seen how butthurt men get about rejection? I feel both men and women get crazy about it.

I mean, there have been teen girls stabbed to death because they rejected t go to prom with a guy.
If that's not being crazy, I don't know what is

[Bluemax]

Men are the helicopters of rejection. Women are like airplanes when it comes to rejection.

[Bluemax]

This fellow who said he would kill himself when you rejected him, how well did you know him? Was he depressed before? What ever became of him?

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Bluemax he was my neighbor. I did not really talk to him or any neighbor as I'm a hermit. Apart from the hi and bye when I passed by. I knew him for a few months, like maybe 2-3. But again, we never really spoke much more than"how's your day?"

I have no idea if he was depressed. But I'm willing to bet so.

He ended up moving and he told me straight up that it was because of me. He said "I can't be here because I can't have you. I'm going insane just thinking about if I see you with another man. I want to be that lucky man but you don't want me. So I have to move."
I was like wtf?
I saw him like almost a year after that and he was with a woman I presumed to be his girlfriend from the way they were holding each other. He also saw me and we just greeted each other, simple hi and bye, the same one that had hooked him a year before and got him all obsessed with me.

And what do you mean men are helicopters and we're planes? Lol

[Bluemax]

Ah yes, the helicopters/airplanes remark. Mind you, it's an imperfect analogy, but here goes.

Helicopters are more dangerous than fixed wings. They are a difficult machine to master, they are a mechanic's nightmare, and they don't have positive stability. The pilot must constantly stay on top of the controls. If you let go of the controls, it will fly off wildly and crash. Engine failure? It almost always crashes!

Fixed wings are a different story. Most of them have positive stability. If you let go of the controls, they tend to right themselves back into straight and level flight (my flight instructor demonstrated this to me... it was a little scary at first).

What you're describing reminds me of helicopters and airplanes. I'm willing to entertain the possibility that some of these differences MIGHT be innate (and please note, I said and emphasized MIGHT be). Some gagers would have us believe that the differences between men and women's behavior...

[Bluemax]

... is ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY DUE TO SOCIAL CONDITIONING AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO CHANCE THEY'RE WRONG.

Suffice it to say I'm not as convinced as they are... and I could be wrong.

Now, the men I've been friends with don't display the behavior you'very talked about. But maybe I have been lucky. Or maybe you've been unlucky. More than likely the truth is somewhere in between. But, as always I could be wrong.

You're like a Cessna 150. Probably the most forgiving aircraft ever designed. Positive inherent stability all the way. Straight and level flight. That's why your almost heroic efforts to convince people you're not nice have failed as far as I'm concerned, though you do claim to swear like a goddamn motherfuckin' cocksuckin' asshole son-of-a-bitch sailor.

[Latéstériä]

In addition to what others have said, women probably fear rejection the most. Men are used to it, and as others have said, they sometimes expect it; they do most of the asking and initiating in relationships and dating and thus, receive more rejection.

A guy can ask a woman out and if rejected, more easily move onto the next woman. For women however, a rejection resonates with us. We over think it.

We aren't used to rejection, usually (when it comes to dating) we're the ones doling it out. Guys take risk and fear rejection less, women are more risk-adversed.

[Azara]

if a woman is used to asking guys out which some are, its not a big deal. how you deal with things are based on your actions not your gender.

[Shorty1991]

@Azara I agree, we women do have a tendency to I've analyze things the first few times we face rejection but the more you get through it, the easier it gets. I just look for someone else.

[anonman32]

still, a woman that approaches guys and does not fear rejection is hot.

[Shorty1991]

@anonman32 lol, well after being through it plenty of times, its like im immune to it. I don't let it bother me anymore. It not the end of the world when you get rejected. :)

[Azara]

@@Azara I agree, we women do have a tendency to I've analyze things the first few times we face rejection but the more you get through it, the easier it gets. I just look for someone else.

people get used top things:) v of course some people move on from rejection right away eve at first as long as its clear. voters never move on there are posts from guys asking how to get a girl back that they never hd but think they had. i think one of the reasons women get slated as ;thinking' about it is bc for a guy to be present its seen as tenacious. for a woman its just seen as desperate. so guys when thy think about it its not called thinking ts called going after what you want.

i was never one t think about a rejection bc if a guy doesn't seem interested i dont want hm even if there some complicated reason. but even for people who take it badly.. the more you do it the less you care.

rejection is not fun but there is a certain satisfaction in knowing you were willing to face it and did.

[Azara]

I gotta say though people-women & men- need to be CLEAR. often people dont move on after rejection bc they dont know they've been rejected lol

also sometimes there really is a complicated situation and its not black and white. I was in something like that, total bad timing and misunderstanding and i could've walked away but i was patient bc i had also acted in a confusing way earlier. ultimately the situation was that wed both wanted very much to be together but were hurt and uncertain. so i say thinking about things is not the worst thing. it needn't be demonized. id rather think than be arrogant. but i also say things hurt less the more you are accustomed. rejection becomes a weeding out process as it should be, as apposed to internalized as an indication of the quality of person you are. which all sexes get sucked into at some point or other. humans are fallable., but we learn :)

[Shorty1991]

@Azara its even worse when neither party acts on it, one moves on and the other hasn't. Its more like an unrequited love.

[Shorty1991]

@Azara that's also very true, some people think that they can rely on body language alone and never bring any verbal communication into the equation. Although some of us can read body language. Its not always black and white because people can deny it.

[ManOnFire]

@Shorty1991 It isn't that women spend time analyzing it. It's that they waste time trying to figure out why the guy wasn't interested instead of just accepting it and moving on.

[Shorty1991]

Yeah I get you. But that's what I meant by over analyzing it, by thinking "am I not good enough for him" yadda yadda. We come up with all different conclusions in out minds. I did that the first few times I was rejected, but now I just move on and don't let it bother me.

[EllieLexis513]

Yes, 100%. I think men fear rejection face to face but women interpret rejection in that sense but also when men just don't approach us. It's a different type of rejection. I feel rejected all the time because men will approach my friends and not me. I'm always the one in the group that the rare times we do go out, I'm not approached. So, yes, I do believe it.

[Keepcalm89]

Does a woman feel rejected when a man does not approach her? I was a shy guy all through out my twenties and teens.. talked to a few girls here and there.. few were interested in me romantically but so how nothing happened between me and these few girls.. you mean to tell me that I "rejected " girls by simply me being shy and not approaching the girls I found cute? Even do I so wanted to?

[EllieLexis513]

@Keepcalm89 Yes, we do. I do, at least, and so do some girls I know. It's a nonverbal way of saying you aren't interested.

[Keepcalm89]

I was so interested ! But I felt that girls didn't wanted to be approached by me because at the time I didn't feel like I was the type of guy that chatted up girls easily so I didn't do it, kept it all inside while I saw other guys easily chatting them up.. point is I never thought that by me simply not saying something due to fear some girls interpreted that way! I just wish they knew how much I wanted to talk to a lot of them. But ce la vie

[AleDeEurope]

Yeah, cause they're not used to getting rejected.
Girls tend to get most of what they want when they want it, that added to the fact that they've been approached most of the times, they end up getting this thought that they can't be rejected, therefore when it happens, they don't accept it, cause they're used to being handed what the want.

It doesn't apply to every woman, but it does apply to a big chunk of them, a majority I'd say.

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Absolutely. It's why most of them won't initiate. They are absolutely terrified of rejection. They'll even accuse a man of being gay if he rejects them. Because apparently, not being attracted to hambeasts means a man is gay. Who knew?

It's funny how fragile the female ego is, yet they claim men are the ones with the fragile ego. Yet more proof, as if it was needed, that women are masters of projection.

[BuchitaBuchys]

And men will call you ugly, slut, fat, stupid etc for getting rejected.
There are men who will threaten to kill themselves over rejection.
There are men who will stalk her.
There have been women who were literally stabbed to death for saying no.
There are men who claim to be "supreme gentlemen" and then go on a shooting spree.

If that isn't fragility, i don't know what is.

Yes women can be afraid of rejection but men are too.
Everyone is, it's a completely human thing.

[Indigo91]

Men have to do the approaching because we are biologically capable of handling situations better while under stress unlike women who are slaves to their emotions,. Someones got to approach otherwise if it was left to women the whole species would die out. Why do you think men are risk takers, protect the country as such and have to be the ones who do the dangerous jobs and sometimes die so that women don't have to go through these things.

[JohnDoe3000]

Yes. I think this is because women are indeed always told they're desirable and they grew up in a society where men do most of the initiating. Boys learn to deal with rejection while they're still teenagers while many women go their whole lives without being rejected even once (they might occasionally get rejected in the sense a man doesn't flirt back but that's not the same thing).

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Yeah, because women aren't used to along guys out and thus, being rejected. Just look at most of the questions on this site from girls regarding relationships. A lot of them just wait til the guy goes first and can't comprehend the idea that the reason he isn't doing it is because he's just as nervous

[Azara]

nope. i dont think so. i certainly dont see rejection as anything other than important information. as in it tells me to move on. its not a fully bad thing. its necessary. i also have not noticed any woman trying to figure out why they were rejected.. maybe its the women yo know. or maybe you see what you want.

[ManOnFire]

@Azara I actually am not the first guy to notice it, so it's not just me. And just because you haven't noticed it, doesn't make it untrue.

[Azara]

other people having the same opinion is proof of nothing. i addition any thing you can say about women you can say about men, including not noticing it.

[ManOnFire]

@Azara "other people having the same opinion is proof of nothing." - Curious. If it were a subject you agreed with and others did, you wouldn't be saying that.

"i addition any thing you can say about women you can say about men"
- That sounds like a childish way of saying 'well, if women are wrong, then men have to be wrong too.' So anything a woman does, we can say the say the same about men, so anything a man does can be said about women too?

[Azara]

I would opinions are easy to come by they do not necessarily reflect the truth but the trend of thought. on the other hand you sed if women are more so and so than men. so i do not think women never at this way just as i dont think men never at this way. there are too many differences in people to strictly split them down the middle between being woman or man.

if i agree with something i agree with the argument not the opinion. if someone agreed with me but gave an equally gender biased argument i would have the same view.

you can be correct in seeing women do something without being correct in seeing how it is overall. yo can miss men doing things if yore looking for it in women and vice versa.

i do think people who deal best with reaction are those most used to dealing with it. it is not an inherently tendency to eat well or unwell, but simply a function of what you're accustomed to.

[Azara]

to say a person does or does not do a thing well or unwell simply c of their se is too simplistic and can not be a true statement. too many variables.

i also happen to deal with rejection beautifully so im able to look beyond expected behavior and look at what people actually do. when you begin with a belief , or have an answer in the question, its pretty hard to see reality.

i do think what you may see is women who are not used to asking guys out-bc a lot of guys reject women for asking them out. im nt saying being rejected is bc yo ask a guy out. im saying guys themselves say they will reject a woman they are interested in bc she asked him out. so two things going on.

1 is the women who fear rejection just for asking will avoid making they gt less experience in rejection thereby being worse at it.

2. when women do ask guys out, there is sometimes THAT reason. that just asking a guy out will cause rejection guys not have this extra layer bc they are accepted in asking women

[Azara]

out. so there literally can be a reason bc of the extra societal pressure on women to be passive.

to solve this id say everyone ask everyone out and eventually well all be used to rejection and not have any reason to think its other than they just not like us.

im really against the gender based limitations imposed on people in seeking mates. it also ends up unnecessarily changing our expectation of what is a normal behavior when really we are just looking at the results of forced conduct. what we do forms our personality more than what we are.

and i have been rejected by guys who liked me bc i sed. so now im sure to do it exclusively bc i dont want to fall into that pattern of oh if i act on my ow n behalf help feel less manly and hell hate me. its bullshit. and i hate that women and men get sucked in to it.

[ManOnFire]

@Azara You are not the norm.
"if i agree with something i agree with the argument not the opinion."
- And people agreed with my argument, which wasn't so much opinion as it is a reality. I just think that's the part that bothers you most.

[Azara]

What 'argument'?

you have n opinion that women think about rejection more. thats no an argument. thats a stereotype which is the opposite of an argument. give me a thought out argument ill be able to at least respect it if not agree with it. dont presume to know my mind. if you have a question, ask.

[Azara]

What 'bothers ' me is you all sound like a cult. that bothers me. it bothers me when people rely on prejudice and stereos rather than using their brain. im not hearing anything different than is repeated 100 times a day regardless of what actually happen. and if a bunch of people on this pot agree with yo it means they gravitated towards your post with the answer in the question bc they shared your view in the first place.

i dont think yo wanted to ask a question i think you wanted your opinion confirmed.

if you want to ask a question ASK people how they feel about think about and deal with emotion.

you were leading the witness so to speak. thats not a real way of questioning. its like you're afraid to let people just speak their mind.

what does it do for you to think women do or do not deal better or worse than men with rejection.. what was your motive in raising this. bc it does not look like you wanted answers.

do a poll. ask in a more neutral way.

[Azara]

pretending to ask questions while just drumming up support for bias does bother me bc i actually like to see how people really think. and you have an opportunity to find out. instead its wasted by telling people what they think.

its like stepford wife syndrome.

you can do what you want but dont tell me what bothers me. i know very well wha bothers me. abhorrence of thinking.

[NerdInDenial]

There is a greater percentage of men who do not fear rejection because they get use to it.

[ManOnFire]

Yep, precisely.

[kittykatbrat]

I never initiate anything sexual with anyone.
People I know put this down to me having a "psychological fear" of rejection.
I feel this is just me being lazy and used to having the choice.

They may be right though.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I think if you get rejected by a guy it just means he thinks you're ugly. if you're hot a guy should never say no to you. So if a woman gets rejected by a guy its because she isn't cute and her ego cannot take it, because society says a womans worth is all in her looks

[Indigo91]

Indeed! at 28 sounds like you will be facing kryptonite very soon. Make best of it now with all macho bad boys and good looking players whilst you still can lol

[pr3ttybr0wn]

@Indigo91 sorry hun I'm black so i will not age badly. i dont even look my age now lmao

[DandelionGirl]

Well that's not true in my case, I gave a guy my phone number and when we started messaging each other , then he tells me I'm looking for my own nationality, he was Italian and I guess I didn't make it into his "plan". So I stopped talking to him. Who knows, he could've been lying... He could've just said I'm not interested in you. Would've been easier.

[Artist20]

Who knows, I dont really care if they fear rejection more than men. Both genders experience it sooner or later.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, why else would they ask about how to get noticed or if some guy likes them if they're crushing on him?

[ManOnFire]

That's a good point.

[Azara]

bc a lot of guys reject women for asking guys out. so they flirt instead.

[Opinion Owner]

@Azara Thus the fear of rejection. Welcome to our world.

[JohnDoe3000]

@Azara

Bullsh*t. Guys rejecting girls solely for being the one to ask him out is exactly the sort of explaining away the Asker mentioned. The truth is we don't do that (or at least very few of us do), when a girl gets rejected by a guy it's because he doesn't like her or he is not available, period. When your mother or girlfriends comfort you by telling you you were rejected for being too bold they're not telling you the truth, but it's possible they don't know they're lying because this "guys don't like it when a girl approaches them" myth seems to be everywhere.

[Kylesar]

I think they do because they don't typically make the first move, so when they do, they expect the guy to fall for them. When they don't the ego bruise is bigger

[AddictedGirl]

Yeah that's y they usually don't propose! And do not take initiatives..

[Azara]

women dont purpose bc guys reject them for it. not really the same thing as not doing it bc they are women.

[AddictedGirl]

@Azara didn't said that! Women don't propose coz they are women! No obviously not! Main reason is rejection and ego!

[Anonymous]

I've been rejected so much to the point where I just have no soul left. Although then again I don't care neither because I am emotionless to pain by now. Also women age like milk so they get rejected themselves in the end which I will celebrate when all assholes, players and pretty boys leave them.

[phil2]

This sounds like the supposed nice guy Syndrome, I don't think like this. I think that if it wasn't meant to be I will miss the constant texting, phone calls and company but time to move on.

[ManOnFire]

And that's what you need to do.

[Blonde401]

Yes and no. There's a guy on here who women won't have sex with so he thinks their all concieted. I think men can be guilty of it too but I think women usually just want an answer to things - more specifics than guys do.

[Jxpxtxr]

Sorry but I can't say that's true at all.
I think they are absolutely equally scared of rejection but men just take their chances to approach more often due to social conditioning.

[Luvme66]

that's why we are always supposed to approach them...

[blondfrog]

I know they do that's a fact. They have more pride when it comes to looks too.

[Anonymous]

Women don't like rejection men don't like rejection no one likes rejection when a woman gets rejected she thinks it's because she's not attractive when men get rejected they say the woman thinks too much of herself, ego is an enemy to all.

[Mustachekitteh]

Due to being more emotional most of the time, I can believe that being the reason.

[ManOnFire]

Funny thing is, I never feel like women are more emotional. I always feel like choose to be emotional for who and when they want to be.

[Mustachekitteh]

We over think more often?

Or we get our feelings hurt more often. I'm honestly not sure if it's not the emotional part with most females.

[ManOnFire]

Maybe it's getting your feelings hurt more often, yeah. Could be that.

[Mustachekitteh]

That and I think women tend to be harder on themselves when things go wrong or if they fail. Then having issues letting it go and not bring them down. I know some men do that but I wonder if women do it more often.

[Gommers]

That's a load of shit, you can't fear rejection when you're the one rejecting people.

[ManOnFire]

Doesn't work like that. When you experience the treatment you give others, it's usually a different story.

[Gommers]

Women don't get rejection, they reject

[ManOnFire]

Oh they definitely get rejected, more than most admit.

[Anonymous]

I am terrified of rejection from someone I care about.

[Anonymous]

Women don't fear it more they just experience it less and don't get used to it like guys do

[Anonymous]

I get bored from rejection and sometimes put me in a low self esteem and under stress

[Anonymous]

Women are weak, they are just full of bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Men and women are about the same

[jwhit]

Oh yeah for sure.

[Twolips]

Definitely

[Anonymous]

Id say its about equal

[SmartProspecting]

probably balanced