Girlfriend goes out clubbing without me?

Question

My girlfriend goes out with her girls clubbing sometimes...I have no problem with her enjoying a lady's night...only thing that bugs me is this one comment she mentioned, she said "she does not like to be bunned up at the club rather be alone" (doesn't want to be tied with me while at the club) In a way I kind of understand she wants space of her own but I do find it strange because I believe she is hiding something. Like she wants to do things that I wouldn't want to see like cheating, etc...It's possible I am over thinking this but I'd like to know from your perspective...

Diego_ · Accepted Answer

When she goes out clubbing without you, does she let you know that she is going ? Or does she just go without telling you ?

I had a similar situation with one of my past relationships. She told me she was going to soccer practice, so I went to her house to wait for her. Her family invited me to dinner, as so after that we watched a movie. I lost track of time & when I looked at the clock, it was already 11:00pm ! Her soccer practice was done at 8:30pm. Then like she came bursting through the front door and ran upstairs as fast as she could. I only got a glimpse of her as she was running up the stairs. I couldn't believe it. None of us couldn't believe it. She was wearing a very short & revealing backless dress and high heels. Plus she had a lot of makeup on. The next day her brother tells me that she had ditched soccer practice, to go with her friend & her boyfriend to a club. Well turns out that her boyfriends friend which is like 26 years old, couldn't get his girl in because she was underage, but he was able to get my girlfriend in. Then they went to the club, after that they went to his place and had sex. & after that, she was grounded for life, plus I broke up with her.

Well what I'm tyring to say is a girl has to have her space, but she also has to know what is her limits because she is not single anymore. & she should definitely let you know if she is going out clubbing and maybe you guys can go with your friends and her friends. Both of you dance together, and give each other time to dance with other people. But she shouldn't be going out with her friends clubbing. Especially if her friends are single. Because then she might play it off as though she is single too. Then that leads to cheating.

enigma2win · Accepted Answer

She told you she enjoys dancing with other girls then guys? and she also told you she used to get touched and guys would beg her for a kiss?

I guess that says alot. Before you get the wrong idea, even though I cannot read her mind and all I have is experience as a dating coach and have studied female psychology, I must say, when a girl gets a lot of attention and has a boyfriend she doesn't want to lose, she is not going to tell her boyfriend most of the times..

If she is saying all of this, its to get attention and probably a little bit of jealousy.

She most likely wants to feel wanted, and you are probably wussing out because you are afraid.

My advice:

Dont show too much jealousy, but show a little, every time she starts to scare you like she is successfully doing, ignore what she says and change the subject, act a little bit like a bad boy.

If she doesn't stop behaving like this, pull away, stop giving her attention as punishment.

She'll look for ur attention more and more, let her work for it.

Girls like ur girlfriend crave for attention, but get bored easily.

Let her work for it, and then as a reward give her what she wants (good sex, fantastic dates, etc).

Dont let her go overboard, but don't act like a psycho jealous bf. Just be polite and manly about having ur standards and if she doesn't go with it, ur ready to walk.

As long as she feels like you are ready to walk if she steps on ur boundaries even tho you like her alot, she will have her challenge and behave.

Cheers

jrose · Accepted Answer

Personally, when I go out dancing with the girls I don't want my boyfriend with me. Not because I'm doing anything bad or cheating in any form, but just because I want to laugh with the girls, drink girly stuff, dance, search out hot guys for my single friends to dance with etc. The kind of stuff I just don't do in mxed company because guys would probably be bored with the conversation/jokes and not really interested in checking out guys with my single friends. I'm a girl who has a lot of guy friends AND a boyfriend, so I rarely get the chance to go out with the girls and I enjoy it because it's just different from hanging out with my boyfriend and the guys, I can have a different kind of fun. Let's put it this way- if you have a guys' night out where you do all manner of ridiculous things (I've heard many stories about guys' nights from my friends) you don't want a girlfriend coming along, it just changes the mood/dynamic. Guys act different when they're out with just the guys and so do girls when they're with the girls. It doesn't mean we're doing anything horrible, we're just being utterly female without having to bridge the gap between the genders, as are guys when they go out. I say trust her until she gives you reason not to.

YellowSidewalkChalk · Accepted Answer

i totally agree with her. its important to have different friends and go out separately to enjoy life. you should do the same and stop being so insecure. I dance with girls and guys when I go out to clubs and my girlfriend is a little jealous (Which I don't like) but not too much. she understands that those are her own personal hang ups and its not fair to insinuate that I'm cheating when she is just insecure. I did the same with my boyfriends in the past. like I let them go out clubbing and things like that but we set boundaries of course and talk about it. of course some of my exes didn't want to talk hear me talk about it because they said it would just make them jealous and think about it too much.

i personally don't drink so I don't have to worry about not being able to control myself or anything but I know a lot of people like it so that's a personal decision I would just say be careful.

yes guys at the club can get out of control. its crazy sometimes but having girls with you helps.

windy-rose · Accepted Answer

I'm with her, I like going out with my girlfriends (I include my gay friends in this,:P ), and its fun to go out and dance with them. There's none of the guy-girl dynamic potential, which is good for you in this situation, it also helps ward off any creepers. It's a  lot more freeing then feeling like you have to dance with one person the whole evening. She said its ok for you to dance with other girls because it's less excepted for straight guys to dance together like it is for girls, but doesn't want you to feel left out or bored if she dances with her friends. Its just like she likes to spend time with her friends. I wouldn't fret over it.

nicenthic · Answer

You're over 25 so you must have learned at least something about being a man and being in control on your relationship. Have a talk with her and tell her that this behavior of hers is not sitting well with you and that you don't feel good about it. If she cares about your feelings, she will make every effort to either include you or curb her slaggish nocturnal activities. If not, you have your answer and know that you are in a weak position with almost no power in the relationship.

To get power back, you can start going out with the guys on trips, and picking up chicks. Start a little harem of your own. Then none of the sh*t she does will bother you in the least. And she will know how it is to feel like she made you feel.

Otherwise, you can continue to be a little boy and let her stay in control. And once she finds a man, she will likely leave you for him cos he knows how to lead her and not follow her. Women want to be led by their man, not followed by a little boy.

wildfire5288 · Answer

I wouldn't a boyfriend with me while I was out clubbing.  I also couldn't date a guy who had a huge issue with me going out clubbing without him because as it is I go out to the bar once a week and if I were to get a boyfriend I can't gauentee that would change.  I'm busy a lot during the week and going out to the bar is usually the first time I see some of my girlfriends since the weekend before and I wanna be able to go out with them and not have to worry about being glued to my boyfriend all night.  I also usually don't dance with guys when I go out because a lot of them are really sleazy, when I go out with my girls I'm usually dancing with them.

Alphabear · Answer

People will tell you you should trust her. Well that advice is not really for everyone. I was a very open boyfriend before. Never get jealous. Very outgoing very social. My girlfriend always ask me if she can go. she's even upset that i dont care where she goes. And then she cheated. Blaming for not being there when she needs me blah blah. Then i went to the club 2 - 3 months after the breakup. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY WOMEN I MADE OUT WITH ME WHO HAS A BOYFRIEND. dont know why they do it though. Trust should be earn not give. It hurt as f... k you know. Im a different kind of man now. I always call women out in situation like this. As self defense for my self. " make sure you'll break up first with me if you see someone you like, i dont like games" its reverse psychology. Pure self respect.

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

she probably is flirting with other guys and doing stuff. Who knows. I know one girl, not a friend, she'd do stuff and then I wonder why she still has a boyfriend. Not trying to freak you out, but why not send some of your guy friends to jus thang out and see.

Littletad · Answer

Let her have her fun. I used to be in a situation like this. And I got over it quickly. Was she cheating? Nope, just having fun with her friends. Eventually she started to miss me more and I ended up going more often to the clubs with her. So as long as she is still seeing you that same night or next day, I'd say you have little to worry about.

Anonymous · Answer

Tell me im crazy but you could do this:

Hire a close friend or a close relative of yours someone that your girlfriend doesn't know soo she won't recognize the person pay him/her (of course) to spy on your girlfriend whether she doin anything wrong if yes then dump her but if no problem solved.

You never know what happens not all girls are the same some are trustworthy and some are sneaky..
And this way your trying to care whether what your girfriend is doing in a very mischevious and wrong but smart way of handling things..

Anonymous · Answer

My girlfriends give me a hard time when I bring a guy; they think it ruins their girl time. And in a way, it does... instead of being part of the group, I'm off in a corner with only my man.

It's normal, and she's trying to be accommodating to you ... so you don't stand there like a wallflower while she has fun with the girls!

rakar · Answer

to be HONEST most of my girl friends that have boyfriends and still go to the club either have a one night stand or at the verry least get a number from another guy. to be honest that is what I've seen, your girlfriend defo sounds suspicious. if you don't like it tell har to stop.

amandamaragni · Answer

dont worry about it , let her have he fun, I go out all the time with my friends and I don't cheat. Trust is the number one thing in a relationship, if you don't have that then you don't have anything

swamds · Answer

bro, I have no idea. If my girlfriend went to the club it would just upset me. Its not that I don't trust her! I trust and love her more than anyone, just dude, a club is where sluts go to get grinded on and make out...sooo wtf is my girl doing there? Haha I'm in the same place as you buddy, I just said that to her. Only a little nicer worded. Maybe you should go hit the club. Fist pump like a champ bud!

H0000 · Answer

If I were her..the only reason I did this is I wanna flirt with other guys...I can't speak for all.Maybe ur girlfriend is just wild.But that kinda girl never look attractive to me anyway

Sexy-Senior-09 · Answer

trust her until you find evidence that she's fooling around with other guys. jealousy destroys relationships. keep that in mind goodluck

Littlett25 · Answer

Well since it's a friend thing she probably wants to keep it as a girls night out. She might feel more self-conscious with you there

balderdash · Answer

hahahaha mate get your bitch on a leash she dances with guys? she's taking you for a fool dump this club whore find a girl who respects herself

Girlfriend goes out clubbing without me?

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